Where's My Baby?
by derekngarcia
Summary: The team get a case, that is close to Emily and she wants to keep it a secret. How long until all her secrets come out? TW Self Harm!
1. Chapter 1

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 1 - Therapy sessions and what ifs!**_

 _ **'Emily help... Help me... Please save me' the young woman screamed.**_ _ **'Please save me Emily, he's a monster and he wants to kill me' the young woman cried, she looked about 19 'please try to find me...' She begged. 'Why have you not tried to look for me yet? Please look for me before I'm dead, I have so many questions, I need the answers to and I just want to talk to you'**_

 _ **When Emily looked into her eyes, all she saw was pain, fear and hurt 'don't you know who I am? I thought you wanted me... Why did you give me away?' The woman asked, with tears in her eyes. 'S**_ _ **he told me you loved me but also that you weren't sorry, I don't know what to believe Emily'**_

 _ **'I don't know where I am Emily and I'm scared, please help me, it's dark. If you try to find me... When you look in my room, there's a secret box with a teddy bear inside, it will help you...' She told her.**_

 _ **'Emily why don't you recognise me? Why don't you know who I am? Do I mean anything to you? Oh my god Emily he's here, he's coming to hurt**_ _**me again, help me!'**_

She sat up in bed breathing heavily! 'I promise to try to find you I promise that!' it was dark in the room and she could just about see the moon shining through her red curtains. She sees enough of the color red, blood at the crime scenes, red was the color of love, blood and anger, she was going to change her curtains, she didn't like them anymore.

Emily once again, woke up with a bad feeling that morning after having too little sleep that night and another horrible nightmare.

Getting out of bed, she went downstairs to make a cup of coffee, knowing she wasn't going back to sleep anymore, she needed to do something that would help her sleep at night, even if it was a sleeping pill. The only thing she knew was that she had to get some sleep, otherwise she would snap!

Once she got to work, she saw it was quiet again. Hotch was in his office, doing paper work and she knocked on his door and entered when he said come in.

'Hey, Hotch we're doing paper work today right? No important cases or meetings?' Emily asked, almost desperately straight away.

Hotch frowned and asked Emily to sit down. She did and he looked at her carefully trying to read her. 'No meetings or cases unless we get one. Why?'

'Don't profile me Hotch!' Emily said getting slightly annoyed. He looked at her again and then she sighed. 'I just saw my therapist and I need to speak to her. She said she was free and that we could…' Hotch interrupted her by nodding his head.

'Of course, go have your meeting… and Emily?' Hotch said, waiting for her to turn around and look at him. She did and Hotch continued 'if you need anything just come and talk to me okay! Good luck' Hotch ended with a slight smile and she nodded saying thank you, smiling back.

* * *

She took a deep breath before knocking and entering.

'Hello Emily, come in, take a seat' Dr Jones said with a welcoming smile. 'So what did you come to see me about?' Dr Jones asked when Emily sat down.

Emily sighed and started picking her nails 'I don't know where to start' she said instead. Her therapist told her to start from the beginning so she took a deep breath and said 'okay this is going to sound stupid and creepy but…' Dr Jones waited patiently for her to carry on. 'I've been having these dreams for a couple of weeks now and they're of this young woman…' she shook her head and took another deep breath 'she looks like me…' Emily stopped.

'She looks like you?' her therapist, Lisa asked and she nodded 'do you want to explain?' she asked and Emily just stayed quiet. 'It's okay to talk about it, your doing well… carry on… if you don't tell me then I can't help you' Lisa said softly, trying to encourage her to carry on.

'She reminds me of me a lot, it's kind of scary. She looks like I did like 15 years ago or something…' she said quietly. 'She looks like she could be my daughter'

'Okay, tell me what happens in your dream. It could just be you 15 years ago…' Lisa saw Emily shake her head adamantly.

'No it's not me, I know that because I didn't do anything, like work in a clothes shop 15 years ago. It seemed so real…' Emily sighed. 'She even called me mum once?... I'm so confused' she frowned. 'And this morning she kept asking why I didn't know her or recognise her'

'Has this got anything to do with your past?' she got her answer when she saw Emily close her eyes. 'What happened?' She asked softly.

She stayed silent for a minute or so, figuring out whether she should tell her therapist. 'You won't tell anyone? Not even Hotch?' she saw her therapist hesitate then nod her head 'when I was 15 I… um I got pregnant…'

'What happened?' Lisa asked, surprised but not being judgmental.

'I gave birth to a baby girl…' Emily smiled sadly. 'I held her for a little while and fed her you know, things that a mother would do…' Emily took a deep breath and then said 'I was tired after obviously so I fell asleep and… when I woke up I asked Mother where she was and she told me she was… dead…' Emily coughed, choking on her tears.

'Emily, I'm sorry… so you're dreaming of your daughter, that's understandable. I mean…'

Emily shook her head. 'No it's not just that, around 2 days ago my dream changed, it was different. She got taken by an UNSUB but I can't see his face. It felt real and it gave me a really bad feeling, I had it all day for like a week before the nightmares where she got taken started and I still have this bad feeling now. It just won't go away and I don't know what to do with it'

'Have you spoken to your mother about these dreams?' seeing Emily shake her head no she said 'maybe you should… if these dreams feel as real as you say they do, then maybe these things did happen and your daughter is alive… how old would she be?' Lisa asked softly.

'19… what would I say to mother? She'd think I'm crazy… what if she's been lying to me all these years? I mean I've thought about my daughter everyday…' she said, tears in her eyes. 'I have a picture…'

'It is a possibility and if it is true… you have to talk to her…' Lisa said. 'May I see the picture?' she asked.

'I don't know if I could ever deal with that… I obviously wish it was true in some way, that she was alive but not what happened in my dream, getting taken… I don't know I just have a gut feeling or instinct she is… I don't know why and I don't know what to do with it or what I should feel?' Emily questioned, a slight smile on her face, a bit of hope rising in her. Emily nodded her head and then got out a picture she had of her and her baby daughter.

'What if it is true and she doesn't even want to know me…' Emily said, looking down.

'Let's deal with that if it comes to it which it probably won't…' Lisa said and then looked at the picture 'it's beautiful' she smiled.

'I just need to know if… if it is true and I see her… I just need to know if whoever had her looked after her and treated her right' Emily said. 'Thank you' she said and took it back, holding the picture.

'I understand, Emily but these are what ifs, I need you to talk to your mother first… as soon as possible' the therapist said.

Emily nodded her head quietly.

She felt ill so she excused herself, running to the bathroom to be sick.

She came back 10 minutes later, looking pale and said she wanted to end the session; Lisa understood and asked her to book another appointment, Emily agreed and thanked her before leaving to book another one.

She walked into the bullpen, sitting down at her desk trying to start her paperwork but she was distracted.

Her daughter could be alive. The thought wouldn't leave her mind.

She got interrupted when she heard JJ call her name telling her they had a case.

Emily sighed and said she would be there in a minute. Emily texted her mother and said 'we need to talk, I will call you, it's important'

She got up and went to meet the others where JJ started the briefing.

Emily was having a bad day and she really hoped it wouldn't get any worse...


	2. The case

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 2 - The Case!**_

'We have a case in California' JJ said starting to show the pictures '2 young women in their early 20's have been found dead in an alley. The first one Daisy Carmen, 20 was found yesterday afternoon. She was reported missing a week earlier by her boyfriend. The second victim Katy Williams, 23 was found 2 weeks ago with several stab wounds and was reported missing by her dad. And then yesterday Lilly Thomson was reported missing by her parents…' JJ put the picture up of Lilly and everyone looked at Emily. Lilly looked a bit like Emily, she had the same hair color and some of her facial features, she looked like Emily but younger, Emily's eyes widened and she just stared at the picture of her.

'Oh Em that looks like you, a bit, are you sure it isn't like your daughter or something' Morgan joked but all Emily could do was stare at the picture. That was the woman from her dreams, her daughter. She closed her eyes, feeling sick again.

Emily was shocked, she didn't say anything, she was thinking "she looks like me a bit, her hair is like mine, but she looks more like John" Emily thought to herself. "I miss John, even though he didn't want our baby and whenever we're on the phone we try to avoid that conversation but I want to hear his voice again… I just miss him and it would be good to talk to him now, she's still our baby after all"

Even Hotch couldn't hide the shock on his face.

Lilly looked like John, she had her smile and she had dark brown eyes and dark brown hair, she looked beautiful.

'Okay back to work…' Hotch said, getting the attention of his team. 'The UNSUB is evolving, he's gaining confidence, something happened in his life that made him start killing, we need to find out what it is…' Hotch carried on.

The rest of the team spoke about the UNSUB for another 10 minutes and then Hotch said 'we'll finish the rest on the plane. Wheels up in 30'

Everyone looked at Emily for a moment and then got their stuff, getting ready to go. Hotch stayed behind, waiting until everyone had gone apart from Emily.

'Emily…' Hotch said, looking at her, she still hadn't moved or looked at him when he said her name. He called her a few more times with no response. He was getting worried about her, this morning with the urgent therapy session and now this.

He walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him, a few tears in her eyes but the rest of her face unreadable.

'Emily are you sure your okay?' Hotch asked, making sure.

Emily nodded and sent him a fake smile, standing up and getting her stuff. 'Do you mind if I go and see Lilly Thomson's family'

Hotch didn't think it was a good idea but seeing the desperation in her eyes made him change his mind. 'Okay'

'Thank you' Emily said quietly, meaning her words.

On the plane!

Emily sat on her own but close to the team so she could still hear them, she tried to concentrate but she was distracted by Lilly, that was the same woman from her dream, her nightmare couldn't have been true could it?

She joined the discussion when she could, suggesting helpful things to do with the case. She got a reply from her mother 'is everything okay? What is it about?'

'Okay, Morgan and JJ, you go to the first dumpsite, Reid you go to the second dumpsite Rossi you go to the station and Prentiss you and I will visit the Thomson's' Hotch said looking at Emily at the end, seeing her nod.

Everyone nodded and then started talking about their weekend. JJ went to see Emily, sitting down opposite her.

'Hey' JJ said, giving her a slight smile.

'Hey' Emily said quietly.

'Are you okay?' JJ asked, worrying.

Emily sighed and said 'surprisingly I am for now' looking at JJ in the eye when she said that.

'That's good, when you aren't okay, you'll come and tell me right?' JJ asked, making sure.

'Of course… thanks JJ' Emily said, sending her a real smile.

'Anytime, we're all here for you… and Hotch' she said giving her friend a smile, Hotch looked up at the mention of his name and JJ bit her lip trying not to smile. 'Okay I'm going to sit with Reid and Morgan listening to their conversation, do you want to follow?' JJ asked.

Emily grinned and said 'thanks but I'm okay, I might join in a minute I need to do something quickly' JJ nodded her head and put her hand on Emily's shoulder before going to sit with Reid.

Emily got up and headed to the bathroom. She got a minute to herself and then washed her face then left again.

She took her seat again and looked at her message. Was everything okay? Absolutely not, her mother might have been lying to her for 19 years. She had been dreaming about her daughter getting kidnapped and then she got a case and saw her again. It was getting too much.

'No, nothing is okay, that's why I need to talk to you and I need you to tell me the truth, I'm working at the moment so I'll call you later tonight' Emily texted back, getting tears in her eyes.

About a few hours later they landed, Emily was the first of the plane this time, grabbing her things quickly and leaving, waiting in the SUV for Hotch.

She was ready to meet Lilly's parents. She got in the car and Garcia called just as Hotch got in. 'Hey PG, what have you got on Lilly… was she adopted?' Emily asked.

'Yea it says here that Lilly was adopted when she was first born…' Penelope started.

'Her birthday March 18th she's 19? Emily asked.

'Yea that's right…' Penelope answered. 'How did you know?'

Emily sighed and closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose; she was getting a headache already.

Every memory of that day came back to her, the pain she felt when her mother had told her she died. She started feeling sick again and asked Hotch to stop the car.

He did, straight away, looking at a pale Emily worriedly.

Emily opened the car door and got out; she ran away and to the side so Hotch couldn't see her and bent over, being sick.

She walked back to the car with Hotch when she was done, getting in, she rested her head on the head rest and closed her eyes, staying quiet for the rest of the ride.

They arrived at the Thomson's big mansion half an hour later and Emily quickly got out of the car and knocked on the door.

'Hold on Emily… are you feeling okay?' Hotch asked, she hadn't said a word.

'Yea I'm fine…'

Hotch arrived next to her when they opened the door. He was going to speak when Emily showed her badge and said 'Emily Prentiss FBI may we come in'

Vivian and John Thomson stepped back to let Emily and Hotch in.

The first thing Emily saw when she walked in was a big picture of Lilly, when she was little, she looked like Emily a bit, and that did nothing to stop the nerves and bad feelings in her stomach.

'Hello Emily, how have you been?' Vivian said with a smile, like she knew her.

'Hi Mrs Thomson' Emily replied.


	3. Confirmation!

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 3 – Confirmation!**_

 ** _Warning - Self Harm!_**

Emily and Hotch followed Viv and John in to the living room, where they offered them a drink. Hotch accepted and Emily shook her head.

Hotch sat down next to Emily but gave her some space, knowing she needed it, as she was being unpredictable.

Emily started, not wasting any time. 'So Lilly is adopted?' Emily asked.

Viv and John started getting uncomfortable and nodded their heads 'yea, yea she is'

'Okay, was she well behaved, get good grades at school?' Emily carried on.

'Yea she's very good, she gets good grades, there was a time where she acted out… which was understandable because we told her she had been adopted…' John replied.

'Okay, how old was she when she found out?' Emily needed to know.

'Emily…' Hotch started.

'18, she knows who her mother is and why she gave her up' Viv answered this time, looking Emily straight in the eye. Emily in return was really tempted to send her a death glare, but she couldn't because she was on a case and she had looked after her daughter all this time.

'What was the reason?' Emily asked instead.

'You know the reason Emily' Viv answered.

'How would I know the reason?' Emily asked with attitude, this time she did glare at her. 'All I know is that the BIOLOGICAL MOTHER was going to KEEP her' she added, emphasizing the words. 'If I knew the reason I wouldn't be asking'

'Okay, I know you said she was good at school but does she have any enemy's or anything?' Hotch asked this time.

'Not that we know of. We were close I guess until we told her and then she started shutting us out and wouldn't tell us anything but I really hope not' John said.

Emily nodded and said 'Okay, do you mind if I take a look at her room'

John nodded and took her up to the room. Leaving Hotch to question Viv in the meantime, Emily walked into her room staring at all the pictures she had of her and her friends.

'Who signed the adoption papers, when you got her?' Emily asked calmly, John looked down and Emily sighed 'I'm with the FBI, I can find out who did it that way and I will eventually find out, you have to tell me… its important they could be a potential suspect' Emily stated.

John shook his head and sat down on Lilly's bed. 'Okay, it was the Ambassador. Your Mother…'

Emily thought she was going to faint. Did she hear him right? She hoped not. 'And this was 19 years ago? March 18th'

'Yea' John confirmed with a small nod.

Emily nodded 'where's the bathroom?' she whispered.

'Just in there' John answered, pointing to a door in her room.

'Okay thank you' Emily answered.

'Take as long as you need to look through all of her stuff, I'll be down stairs' John called to Emily before leaving.

Emily stood in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. Her mother had really done that to her, lied to her and made her believe her daughter was dead for all those years and she didn't say anything? She felt sick to her stomach.

Tears started to flow down her cheeks and she didn't bother trying to stop or wipe them away. She was breathing heavily.

Her daughter was alive.

She thought about her mother again and asked herself how she could have done that. What had she done to deserve that? Yes she wasn't the greatest child but that? The thought made her head spin and she leaned over the toilet seat, being sick again, making herself cry even more.

After a few minutes she calmed herself down. She took out her phone and texted an important number 'we need to talk, I'll call you tonight'.

About 10 minutes later she came out of the bathroom, her face fresh and she started looking around her daughter's room.

She looked around for a diary or anything that could help them, a clue to where she might be or who had taken her.

She looked under her mattress and found 2 things: a diary and a single razor…

She sat down with the things in her hand and just stared at them. Her daughter was hurting herself? She got tears in her eyes at the thought of that.

She hadn't used one on herself for that reason, in a long time. She closed her eyes and held the razor in her hand. She opened her eyes again and shook her head, she couldn't… could she?

And she did; the day and everything that had happened and all the things she had found out was too much to handle, she cut herself, feeling alive again, making herself go numb. She put a bandage on quickly incase, she didn't want to make a mess.

She quickly put it away and looked in her diary then looked around her room some more.

She went downstairs and stood in front of the parents. She looked at them and shook her head sadly. 'She harms herself?' Emily asked quietly, getting tears in her eyes.

John and Viv were shocked. They hadn't known. 'I didn't know' John said, shaking his head sadly.

'Mrs Thomson, did you know?' Emily asked, how could they let this happen? When she didn't answer Emily felt like screaming at her but knew it was unprofessional, so she didn't. 'Mrs Thomson did you know Lilly was harming herself? Was she really happy here at home?' She asked again, harsher this time.

'Emily… I thought she might've been but I didn't know for sure…' Mrs Thomson cried.

'I know she didn't talk to you about much from what I read in her diary but did you talk to her or someone else about it?' Emily asked. 'Why did you let her? Why did you not stop her, why would you not do anything to help?'

Viv shook her head.

'Why didn't you?' Emily asked, getting annoyed, raising her voice slightly.

'Because I didn't want to believe she was… would you?' Vivian cried.

'That's no reason, she could have been badly hurt' Emily said. 'I would've done everything I could to get her to stop, I wouldn't even allow her to do it in the first place'

'Your not her mum' Viv said back.

'Viv that's enough, don't talk to Emily like that' John said, defending Emily as he knew what had happened.

'Okay Emily that's enough' Hotch said, looking at Mrs Thomson 'if we find any more information we will call and let you know. If you remember anything she said or did that was out of character for her before she got taken then just call us' Hotch said.

John nodded his head and said 'of course we will, please just find Lilly'

Hotch nodded and said 'we'll do our best'

'Thank you Agent Hotchner' Vivian said and then looked at Emily 'please find her Emily'

'Thank you… and Emily…' John waited until she turned around and faced him to give her a hug whispering in her ear 'she wants to know her real mother'

John pulled back and Emily had fresh tears in her eyes a smile on her face, she nodded and whispered thank you, then left quietly, going to the car.

She got in and closed her eyes; Hotch started the car and drove out, 'Prentiss what was that in there?' Hotch asked, slightly annoyed.

'She should have said something to someone or to Lilly but her only excuse was because she didn't want to believe it… pathetic' Emily said back with attitude.

Hotch nodded his head and stayed quiet, deciding he'd talk to her later again but didn't want to argue with her.

'How do you know the Thomson's?' Hotch asked out of interest.

'I don't really… I think mother knew them' Emily answered; she was wondering the same thing.

'What was the reason for the mother giving up Lilly?' Hotch asked.

Emily swallowed and tried her hardest to keep her emotions in check. 'I don't know'

'Mrs Thomson said you did' Hotch replied. 'If you know then you have to tell me, we need to check out the biological mom'

'Yea I know but I don't know why the birth mother gave up her child' Emily said. 'Actually I don't think she wanted to maybe she was too young or something, I forgot'

Hotch nodded his head, and they made slight conversation after that.


	4. Blaming Mothers

**Where's My Baby?**

 **Chapter 4 – Blaming Mothers!**

'Emily' Hotch started after about 10 minutes of silence. She looked at him, waiting for him to say something. 'Maybe you shouldn't work on this…'

'I'm fine Hotch' Emily answered shortly.

'Are you sure you're okay to work this case Emily?' Hotch asked.

'Don't you dare take me of this case' Emily started 'I NEED to find out who done this'

'If you need to talk I'm…'

'I got it but I don't need to talk… thanks anyway' Emily replied.

Hotch stayed silent for a while. 'What did Mr. Thomson say to you in there?'

Emily looked down 'he didn't say anything, just to find his daughter' she shrugged.

Hotch sighed 'look if you don't want to talk about it…'

'I don't and I won't' Emily said, and then looked down at her phone. She wondered whether she should text her mother or not. What was she going to say though? She sighed and looked at Hotch 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm just a bit stressed at the moment'

'It's fine…' Hotch looked at her 'so how did the therapy session go this morning?'

'Fine…' Emily replied.

'Are you having nightmares again?' Hotch asked.

'Something like that… don't you have nightmares?' Emily answered back.

'Of course I do but this is about you' he replied softly.

'I don't want to talk about it' Emily sighed.

'Okay' Hotch said, keeping an eye on the road.

Emily sighed and closed her eyes. 'It's about mother' she said, saying mother angrily.

'Is everything okay?' Hotch asked, concerned.

'No, nothing is okay' Emily snapped at him.

'Okay, I'm sorry for asking' Hotch said. He had never seen Emily like this before. This case was obviously getting to her.

'I don't want to say anymore' Emily said, ending the conversation.

Emily and Hotch stayed quiet most of the car ride.

Emily thought of the therapists words and decided to text her mother. _'How could you? Why have you been lying to me all these years?'_ she felt a few tears run down her face and she quickly wiped them away.

She felt her left arm begin to shake. 'Emily are you okay? Your arm is shaking'

'Yup I'm fine, it will go over in a minute' Emily said calmly, she had, had that a couple of times before.

'Are you sure?' Hotch asked frowning, wanting to make sure.

'Yup'

They arrived at the police station and Emily got out of the car as quickly as possible, going to the rest of the team.

'Hey' Emily announced.

They all turned around and saw the smile on her face, she looked a lot better 'hey, you look better' Rossi said.

'Thanks I feel better, I'm Agent Emily Prentiss' she introduced herself to the officers working on the case with them.

Hotch saw this and frowned. She was very good at acting; she hadn't been like that a moment ago.

He shook his head, walking over to them and introduced himself, 'so what did you find?' he asked his team.

'Well it was definitely over kill, the UNSUB had no remorse, whatsoever it seems he really hated them, or women in general' Reid started.

Emily's phone vibrated and she left the room, going to check who it was from _'Emily dear, you're going to have to tell me what I have been lying about because I don't know'_

Emily screamed in anger, she really, really disliked her mother right now. ' _I'll talk to you later; maybe you would have figured it out by then'_ just as she pressed send JJ came into the room.

'Em are you…'

'I swear to god if anyone asks me if I'm okay again I will shoot someone okay. I. Am. Fine.' Emily snapped.

JJ raised both her hands and said 'okay, I'm sorry; we need you in here now'

'Yea that's fine I'm coming now' Emily said, looking down at her phone then walking back in.

'I'm sorry… please carry on' Emily said as she walked in.

They took it in turns, listening to everything they had and suggested things and then it was Hotch and Emily's turn. 'I think it might be the adoptive mother' Emily started and when Hotch gave her a look she continued 'well I looked through her room and I read her diary, it seemed she was close with her adoptive father and sometimes her adoptive mother until they told her she was adopted and also she self harms, I found her razor and when I asked Mrs Thomson about it she said she was "too afraid to believe" that her **adopted** daughter was harming herself…' Emily said, sounding pissed when talking about the mother. She didn't really think it was the mother, but she needed to let out her anger otherwise she would hurt herself again.

'Prentiss calm down' Hotch said, putting his hand on her shoulder. Emily took a deep breath.

They could all tell that this case was affecting Emily, she'd never been like this before and they were even more worried about her now.

'Don't tell me to calm down Hotch, she should have done something I don't care if she was in denial or didn't want to believe it' Emily snapped, surprising everyone. 'If it wasn't the mother then I think she knew who took her, because she didn't put up much of a fight she must've trusted the person'

'I'm sorry…' Hotch said to everyone and then said 'anyway we found out that her parents saw a guy hanging round their house a couple of times but apparently he had a walking problem so it most likely isn't him but they didn't know who it was' Hotch finished. 'We also need to find out who the biological mother is' Hotch added. 'And Prentiss we're checking their alibis right now'

'Get them to hurry up' Emily told him. 'I know who it is and she doesn't live here, she was staying with me that day when Lilly got taken so it's not her and I've already spoken to her' Emily answered Hotch, who was surprised.

'Ok I need to talk to both of you then' Hotch replied.

Just as Emily was going to answer, Garcia called Morgan 'hey baby girl, what have you got for me?'

'I didn't find much but apparently they all went to the same school'

'At least that's something to go on, thank you Garcia' Hotch said.

Penelope told them the school and Hotch said 'okay JJ, Reid and Morgan you stay here and start the map of where the victims were taken and found. Rossi, Prentiss and I will go to the school'

The team nodded and got to work. 'Prentiss can I talk to you for a second'

Emily just nodded ' _this going to be fun_ ' Emily muttered under her breath and followed Hotch into a private room.

'What do you want?' Emily asked.

'First you can drop the attitude' Hotch said and Emily sighed. 'Okay, what you said in there was out of line'

'No it wasn't out of line it was true' Emily said back calmly, crossing her arms over her chest.

'You have issues with the mother and how she was dealing with her child then fine go and talk to her about it but don't stand there and talk like she wasn't looking after her because she was, your not a parent and your definitely not Lilly's'

'Aha so you know her now… that's cool, anything else you want to tell me about her? Of course I have an issue with her' Emily replied, choosing to ignore the other bit about not being a parent.

'Because of the self-harm?' Hotch asked and got the answer when Emily closed her eyes. 'Maybe she hurt herself because she was hurt that her biological mother abandoned her or something when she was a baby I don't know but…'

Emily was more than shocked and hurt and she got tears in her eyes and ran out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

She ran outside and around the corner to get some fresh air, JJ following.

'Em, what's going on? What did Hotch say?' JJ asked.

Emily took a deep breath and gave JJ a tight hug, JJ returning the hug, she was about to cry, a few tears going down her face 'Hotch didn't say anything. I just needed some fresh air' Emily said, wiping her tears, she was starting to hyperventilate.

'Are you sure because it looked like you were having an argument and when you came out it looked like you were about to cry' JJ said worriedly, pulling back to look at her best friend. She looked at Emily who had a few tears on her face and put her hand on her cheek 'hey calm down, take a deep breath, your hyperventilating' JJ said softly.

'I'm sure… he just told me… to go outside and… get some fresh air so I did' Emily told her, leaning against the wall behind her and sliding down, trying to steady her breathing. 'I'm fine really… I just need a minute… I think this… case is getting to me'

JJ looked at Emily carefully and then nodded her head, going to talk to Hotch she said 'I'll be back in 5 minutes if you're not in there…' Emily nodded her head and got up.

'I just need to get… my bag, tell Hotch and Rossi… I'll be waiting by the car… if they take longer' Emily said, following JJ back in.

'Do you want to talk about it?' JJ asked.

'No' Emily said, she had no desire to do that.


	5. Going to the school

**Where's My Baby?**

 **Chapter 5 – Going to the school!**

 **Trigger warning self harm!**

Emily made it back out and she went round back again, she sat down on the ground, her knees pulled up to her chest she wrapped her arms around her legs, starting to shake.

She got her bag and took out her razor; she heard Hotch's words " _her biological mother abandoned her_ " ring in her head over and over. She was so mad at him and so hurt, but she knew it wasn't his fault. He didn't know she was Lilly's biological mom.

She pulled up her sleeve and bandage and put the razor against her arm, cutting herself again, she closed her eyes, starting to feel numb. ' _There you go, I cut myself again, do you like who I'm becoming, it's because of you_ ' Emily thought to herself. She opened her eyes when she heard Rossi and Hotch's voices; she got up quickly pulling her sleeves and bandage down her arm. ' _He might be right, I could very well be the reason she's hurting herself_ ' Emily thought to herself.

Getting up quickly made her head spin and she had to lean against the wall for a moment to collect herself and she only began to walk when she heard Rossi call for her.

She came around the corner, face showing no emotion, she only looked at Rossi; she couldn't look at Hotch right now. She got in the back of the car without a word and waited for the 2 of them to join her.

The car ride towards the school was slightly uncomfortable and very awkward. Hotch kept looking back at Emily and she was tempted to scream at him. 'Can you stop looking at me? Look at the bloody road instead' Emily snapped at him again, shocking both Hotch and mostly Rossi. When he asked her questions she only shrugged. She didn't say a single word the whole car ride.

When they got there she stayed in the car for a few moments after they got out, trying to collect herself. She got out and saw that they had started walking towards the school.

'Hello we're the FBI' Hotch said, introducing himself and Emily and Rossi.

'We want to know about a couple of students here, Lilly Thomson, Katy Williams and Daisy Carmen' Emily said.

'Oh yes, we have the files here somewhere I can go check for you'

'That would be great' Hotch said nicely, thanking the teacher. 'Calm down' Hotch warned Emily, who only scoffed in return.

'Yes sir' Emily replied, extremely sarcastically.

The teacher returned and gave them the files. 'Thank you' Rossi said.

'Where are the toilets?' Emily asked politely.

'Just down the hall and to the right' the teacher replied.

'Thank you' she said and walked off.

She arrived in the school toilets and went into one of the grey stalls. She pulled up her sleeve and looked at her arm; it was bleeding so she got some tissue and put it against her fresh cut.

She came out of the toilets a few minutes later, she had done it again and she felt so much better. When she got there she asked the teacher 'how many of the students get bullied here?'

'I'm not sure, but there are a lot…'

'Did Lilly Thomson get bullied?' Emily asked.

'No but I think she knew someone that did, Ashleigh Smith her and Lilly got along well and then something happened, I'm not sure what and then a couple of months later she killed herself…'

'Okay thank you' Emily said.

'I think Ashleigh mentioned Daisy Carmen and Katy Williams, she said they were picking on her and they picked on Lilly sometimes too' the teacher told them before they thanked her and left.

'Why all the questions on Lilly?' Hotch asked when they got in the car.

'Well I don't know… oh that's right maybe it's because she's missing, she is the only one alive right now as far as we know anyway, I was trying to get some more information on her' Emily snapped.

Hotch sighed and nodded his head.

Garcia called and they all spoke, Emily staying quiet. 'Can you find out information on Ashleigh Smith please and call us back when you do' Hotch said.

'Yes sir' Garcia said, hanging up, making Emily smirk.

'Rossi I want you to go with JJ and talk to the first victim's family and see what you can get on Ashleigh Smith, Morgan and Reid can go to the second victims and Prentiss you and I will go and see the Thomson's again' Hotch announced.

'Great' Emily said enthusiastic and sarcastically.

Hotch dropped Rossi off at the police station and then drove off, telling Rossi to tell the others to go to the hotel after.

'I don't want to go back there right now' Emily announced.

'Well we're going and I think you should apologize to Mrs Thomson' Hotch said.

'Nope, that I will definitely not do ABSOLUTELY NOT' Emily said.

Before Hotch could say anymore they arrived at the Thomson's again and Emily got out.

She knocked on the door and they invited them in.

'Have you got some more information Emily?' Viv asked.

'Was Lilly friends with Ashleigh Smith?' Emily asked, instead of answering her question.

'Um yea she did, they were friends, Ashleigh was really nice, and she came round often' John answered.

'Okay, thank you, did she ever talk about her family?' Emily asked John.

'I know her mom died when she was young and she lived with her dad, Ashleigh and Lilly even went to her dads cabin a couple of times' Viv answered, making Emily look at her.

'What's the father's name?' Hotch asked.

'Paul Smith' John answered again.

'Do you mind if I take another quick look at Lilly's room again, just to make sure I didn't miss anything last time' Emily said.

'Of course, let me take you' John offered, needing to talk to her alone for a moment.

Emily nodded her head slowly and followed John up to her room. 'Did you want to tell me something?' Emily asked when he closed the door.

'Yea but first I want to give you a picture' John said, getting the picture he wanted to give her, he handed it to Emily and he added 'it's a lovely photo, I want you to, actually, I need you to keep it…' he saw Emily was about to say something when he added 'please'

Emily sighed and nodded her head 'okay, thank you and I'm sorry for the things I said to Vivian earlier I just…'

'It's okay, I understand' John nodded his head. 'Oh and Ashleigh, didn't really like to talk about her dad, said he did some things but she never said what'

'Thank you that is such a big help' Emily sighed, feeling relieved that she got some information.


	6. Talking to Mother

**Where's My Baby?**

 **Chapter 6 – Talking to Mother!**

Hotch drove them back to the hotel. She got out first again and they met the rest of the team for dinner after going to their rooms. Emily didn't eat much. Just picked on her food, cut it up and looked at it.

The team was getting more worried about her, she wasn't talking to anyone and she wasn't eating.

Emily got up quickly, getting her bag and heading outside.

JJ followed her, and she was just about to call her Mother when she saw JJ.

'What are you doing Emily?' JJ asked.

'I need some fresh air and I need to speak to Mother quickly, I'll be back when I've finished' Emily said nicely.

'Okay, I'll give you some space' JJ said, going back.

Emily sighed and got out her phone, going away from the others to find a place alone where she could talk and sit down.

She found a perfect place and sat down with her bag next to her, she took out the picture she had of Lilly. She saw her razor, her lighter and her pack of cigarettes in her box; she didn't smoke much, only every once in a while when she's had a really stressful case or something.

This case was more than stressful and so personal to her. She took out a cigarette, lighting it and then took her phone out calling her mother.

'Hello Emily' her mother greeted.

'Mother' she said back, plainly. Taking a drag.

'What is going on dear? What have I lied to you about?' Elizabeth replied.

'Everything, you have lied to me about everything…' she said, tears in her eyes. 'How could you? I know I wasn't the best teenager around but lying to me about my daughter? Saying that she's dead… I never thought you would do that but I guess I was wrong' Emily said harshly.

'Emily…' Elizabeth started.

'No… don't… don't lie to me, I've seen the documents… I've seen everything… I just need you to explain why you would do that to me… do I really not mean anything to you… what was I doing? Destroying your career, your image because your teenage daughter, who was so disappointing, was pregnant?' Emily said, crying.

She took another drag of her cigarette waiting for her mother to reply. 'Did you think I was better off without her? Because if you did I can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are! You made me believe for 19 years that she was dead…' Emily said, refusing to wait.

'Emily, you know that's not true, none of it is true… you were too young' Elizabeth started.

'Bullshit…' Emily shouted, closing her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath.

'Emily, don't talk to me like that' Elizabeth said back, raising her voice. 'I really don't think that we should be talking about this over the phone Emily…'

'Of course not, oh what is it? To buy yourself some time to make up some more excuses or do you want to avoid the situation a bit longer?' Emily asked, blowing out a puff of smoke into the air.

'Emily, you were young and you had made mistakes, I was disappointed with some of the things you did yes… I'm sorry for…' Elizabeth started.

'You're not sorry… so don't say you are… I don't think I can even talk to you right now I feel sick' Emily said closing her eyes.

'Emily… I never meant…' Elizabeth started but then stopped.

'You never meant what? To lie to me about her? To keep me away from her? To not tell me about her being alive?' Emily asked, taking another cigarette out and lighting it up.

She took a deep breath and blew out rings of smoke, waiting for her to reply. 'Because of you I don't even know her now. Did you know she harms herself, or do you even care? Hotch thinks that she hurts herself because her biological mum ABANDONED her… he is so wrong, I had no choice because I didn't even know she was alive because you told me that she was dead. You really don't care do you?' Emily snapped, taking another drag, tears still running down her cheeks. 'She's MY daughter'

'I do care…' Elizabeth told her daughter seriously.

'Really? You have a funny way of showing it' Emily said. In return her mother just stayed silent this time. Emily sighed and said 'I have to go now'

'Okay dear… and Emily… I'm sure if your daughter harmed herself it wasn't because of you' Elizabeth said, sincerely.

'I don't know if that's true but okay… her name is Lilly by the way' Emily said back, her tears still flowing but her voice a bit more calm.

'That's a very nice name… I'll speak to you tomorrow and we can arrange a date where we can talk about this properly' Elizabeth said back.

'Sure… whatever' Emily said and hung up the phone before her mother could say any more.

Emily let out a deep breath and took out the picture again, looking at it. She was getting cold and it was getting dark. The team was already worried about her; she didn't need them to find her out here now, like this.

She quickly finished her cigarette and went inside; going to the bar she ordered Vodka then went up to her room after finishing a few glasses.

JJ stood by her door, waiting for Emily to arrive. 'You're finally here, we've been worried, we were going to start looking for you'

'I told you I was on the phone to mother' Emily explained and opened her door.

'Okay, is everything alright with the two of you?' JJ asked.

'Same as it's always been' Emily shrugged.

JJ frowned 'have you been smoking and drinking?' she asked Emily.

Emily shook her head 'I've had a couple of drinks yes but I don't smoke, so no, I moved after a while and then some guys came over, they were smoking and I spoke to them for a few minutes after I finished my phone call, then I came back here' Emily explained, closing her eyes, feeling dizzy.

JJ nodded her head and said 'okay, are you alright?'

'Yea, I'm just tired, so I'm going to go to bed' she said. They said goodnight and Emily sat down on her bed.

She brushed her teeth and got into her PJ's, lying down in bed, falling asleep quickly.


	7. Making a phone call

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 7 - making a phone call!**_

 _Emily woke up an hour later; she couldn't sleep anymore so she sat up in bed. She saw that she had a message and checked it 'okay, I have time to talk, what's up Em, is everything okay?'_

 _She went outside where she was when she called her mother and called him._

' _Hello Emily' John Cooley answered._

' _Hey' she said quietly, she was feeling emotional._

' _What's up Em, are you okay? What did you need to talk to me about?' John asked, worried._

 _Emily took a deep breath 'I'm sorry…'_

' _Sorry? Sorry for what?' John was confused._

' _It's our daughter…' Emily started._

' _Our daughter?' John asked._

' _Yea… I gave birth to our daughter 19 years ago…' Emily started to explain._

' _Okay I know that…' John said, he was still pretty shocked, he didn't know what to say and he didn't know what she was going to tell him, so he stayed quiet._

' _I know you wanted me to give her up… but I couldn't…' Emily told him, taking a deep breath. Tears in her eyes, she took out a cigarette, lighting it up._

' _Emily, what are you trying to tell me?' John asked, she wasn't normally like this and he was getting nervous._

' _Her name is Lilly… mother told me she died…' Emily said, starting to cry._

' _Em…' John started, he wanted to comfort her._

' _I've thought our baby was dead… for 19 years… and I found out… yesterday, we got a case… our baby's missing' Emily cried._

' _I'm sorry Em… I didn't know' John said._

' _I need to find her… I don't know her… I don't know what I'm going to do' Emily said and took a drag._

' _You will find her' John said, he wasn't sure how to feel._

' _I'm sorry, I just thought you should know, that our daughter is missing even if you didn't want her' Emily told him._

' _I know and I'm glad you told me, I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you'_

' _You know… I went to see the… her parents… she self harms… my daughter cuts herself…' Emily cried even more, taking another drag._

' _Oh god…' John said quietly._

' _Vivian, the mom, she… she said she was too afraid… to fucking believe that she was hurting herself… I can't even begin… to tell you how mad I am… she should… she should've done something… to help her…' Emily sobbed._

' _Yea, she should've… but don't blame anyone Emily, this isn't anyone's fault…' John told her._

' _Hotch…' Emily started._

' _What?' John asked, confused._

' _Hotch… he said… I have issues with Vivian and how she handled her daughter… he said I should talk to her about it… but don't talk like she wasn't looking after her… because she was… and… you're not a parent and your definitely not hers…' Emily said, taking a deep breath._

' _Em… do not listen to him…' John started, he was angry that he said something like that to Emily._

' _Why? He's right… I'm not her mom…'_

' _Emily, you know that's not true, you are okay'_

' _But I've missed 19 years of her life; I didn't even know she existed and…' Emily started 'I might be her biological mom but I haven't been there'_

' _What?' John frowned._

' _He also said… maybe she cuts herself… because her biological mom abandoned her when she… was born… I… I would never do that' Emily sobbed, trying to calm her breathing._

' _Em… I'm sorry… he doesn't know what he's talking about okay, don't listen to him'_

' _I can't get his words out of my head' Emily whispered, lighting up another cigarette and taking a drag from it._

' _It's not true' John said adamantly._

' _It could be… I mean it makes sense'_

' _Emily babe, even if it does, doesn't mean he's right…'_

' _I blame him… for making me feel this way… but it's not his fault… he doesn't know' Emily whispered._

' _Does anyone know?' John asked._

' _No, no one does… I can't tell them now… they'll take me of the case, I need to find my daughter first before anything' Emily told him. 'It's so much more important'_

' _I know, its okay'_

 _Emily smiled slightly 'she looks like you and a bit like me, she has my hair and my eyes and she has my smile but everything else is you'_

 _John smiled but he felt sad 'I bet she's beautiful'_

' _She is… she's so beautiful' Emily told him._

' _Do you have a picture?' John asked._

' _Yea, I can send it to you'_

' _Thank you…' John started._

' _It's okay' she said quietly._

' _Em, I'm so sorry babe…'_

' _For what?' she asked._

' _For telling you to get rid of her… I was just so scared and I was being selfish… we were young and I didn't think' John told her._

 _Emily was quiet. 'I know, its okay, I was scared too'_

' _Yea but I wasn't being supportive, you had to go through it all alone because I wasn't there for you'_

' _I had my dad and my mom at times, I was fine' Emily half lied. She wasn't fine._

' _That's not the point Em, I should've been there for you and if I could take that back I would' John told her quietly._

' _It's okay, I'm not mad anymore' Emily said back, just as quietly._

' _You'll find her Em and when you do, make sure she knows who we are… make sure she knows we love her' John said._

' _I will… thank you'_

' _For what?' John asked._

' _For listening to me' she said._

' _You don't have to thank me' John replied. 'Apart from the self harm, does she get treated well and was she good at school?' he asked, wanting to know a bit more._

' _Yea, she was good at school, she's amazing, I wonder if she has your personality too' Emily smiled._

' _I hope not…' John said, making Emily laugh 'I'm pretty sure she's as stubborn as you are though'_

' _Yea I hope she is on some level, being stubborn isn't that bad' Emily smiled._

' _Hey, I should let you go, you need sleep so you can concentrate on this case and get our daughter back' John told her. 'I do want to talk Em, I could talk all night but I know you need to sleep'_

' _I don't think I can' Emily sighed, going back to her hotel room after finishing her cigarette._

' _I know, just try, think or dream of her, being with you, dream of her as a little girl, you taking her to the park or the beach or whatever, but babe please sleep or at least try' John said._

' _I'll try' Emily said, after a minute of silence._

' _Okay good, call me back tomorrow or when you have time, just to talk or something I don't mind and make sure when you find her you tell me straight away' John told her._

' _Of course I will' Emily told him and yawned._

' _See, your tired, probably from all the crying okay so go to bed, but send me the picture of her as well' John reminded her._

' _I will' Emily said, she was getting tired. She lay back in her covers, switching of the light. 'I'll see you tomorrow'_

 _'Yea, tomorrow, I'll be there'_ _John stayed on the phone with Emily, to make sure she fell asleep. He smiled when he heard her breathing even out then put down the phone, knowing she was asleep._


	8. Talking to Karly

Where's my baby?

Chapter 8 - Talking to Karly

Emily and Hotch were in the car, sitting in silence.

'Emily…' Hotch started, she looked at him.

'Yea?'

'I need you to calm down if your going to continue working this case'

'I'll try' Emily said back, taking a deep breath.

She had hidden the picture from Hotch; all she wanted to do was look at it, look at her beautiful daughter that she didn't know.

Hotch sighed he wanted her to talk to him but he knew she wouldn't talk.

'We need to speak to the biological mum' Hotch told her.

'Okay I'll let her know' Emily replied. " _You just spoke to her_ " Emily thought to herself. 'We can speak to her over the phone?'

'No we have to go and see her' Hotch replied.

Emily sighed and texted Karly saying 'we need to come and see you'

'Yea okay that's fine, I'm in all day, but you have to tell me what I'm saying' Karly texted back.

'Of course' Emily told her. 'She said okay' she told Hotch and then texted Karly back, telling her what to say when they got there.

Emily told Hotch the address and he nodded in response, heading towards Karly's place.

When they got there Emily took a deep breath and hoped everything went well.

'Hey Emily' Karly said, giving her a hug.

'Hey Karly, this is Hotch' Emily said, returning the hug 'are you okay?'

'Hello Agent Hotchner' she said shaking his hand. Looking at Emily she said 'no but I'll be okay if you find her'

'We'll try our best, I want to find her too'

'Come in, do you want a drink or anything? I made coffee' Karly said, seeing Emily nod she went into the kitchen to get everything then came back out.

'Thank you' Emily said, taking a sip of coffee.

'So, who is the father?' Hotch asked first.

Karly swallowed and looked at Emily, she didn't know the answer to that. 'John Cooley, he's the father' Emily told him.

'Does he have any contact with you or Lilly?' Hotch asked.

'No, he didn't want to be involved' Karly answered this time.

'Do you think he could've done this to get back at you?' He asked.

'I don't think he's the type of person to do that, I don't think he knows that she's missing yet' Karly said, making a face, that did not sound good.

'It's fine' Emily mouthed, taking her phone she stood up and walked out of the room.

She pressed call, once she had the number and waited a few seconds before he answered.

'Hey John' Emily said with a shaky voice.

'Em what's up? You texted me' John asked worried.

'Yea I texted you, are you on your way?' Emily asked.

'Yea I'll be there tonight, I'm just waiting' John answered.

'Okay because when you get here... We need to question you tomorrow' Emily said.

'Alright' John said 'how are you still working the case?'

'They think that Karly's the mother' Emily whispered really quietly 'Hotch and I are with her now, I just needed to let you know that we need to talk to you, so just be prepared, I'll try and convince them but at the moment I think Hotch thinks your a suspect' Emily told him.

'That's understandable I mean I am the father' John responded.

'She's our daughter...' Emily whispered quietly, shaking her head. 'It's not fair'

'It's not fair Em, I agree but we're going to find her okay' John said.

'You can't promise that' Emily said, and took a deep breath 'okay I have to go, I'll call you back later'

'Alright, be careful and stay safe'

'Yea you too, I'll see you soon' Emily said, putting the phone down and then texted Karly telling her John knew and was on his way before going back to them.

Karly saw the message and told Hotch 'he knows and he's on his way'

'Okay, so you were with Emily the day she was taken?' Hotch asked.

'Yea I was, I wouldn't take Lilly'

'Have you been in contact with her or tried to contact her before?' Hotch asked his next question.

Seeing Emily shake her head Karly said 'no I haven't, I regret it though' she answered, at the end it sounded like more of a question than a statement.

Emily nodded her head when Hotch wasn't looking.

'Your doing great' Emily mouthed.

'Thanks' Karly replied.

'Okay we'll let you know when we find something, thank you for your time' Hotch said, looking up at Karly.

Karly stood up 'it's no problem, if you need anything just text me Emily'

'I will' Emily replied, standing up with Hotch to leave. 'Go down, I'll be there in a minute' she told him when he was out of the door, waiting for her.

Hotch waited in the car whilst Emily was thanking Karly.

'Karly, I can not thank you enough' Emily started 'if you ever need anything just call me' she told her 'I owe you...'

'You do not owe me anything, at all' Karly replied 'how are you holding up anyway? This must be so difficult for you and John'

'Yea it is, I'm not doing to well but I'm trying to hold myself together in front of the team at least' Emily told her. 'I'm so sorry I dragged you into this'

'It's okay'

'No it's not and I can't tell them because they'll take me of the case and I can't let them do that, I need to find my daughter'

'Yea, just give me a call when you find her and say hello and sorry to John for me' Karly told her.

'I will, oh I have to go but thank you again for everything'


	9. Questioning John

Where's my baby?

Chapter 9 - Questioning John!

The next day!

John walked into the police station with a sigh. He took a deep breath as he looked around, he never did like the police station, especially now since he was going to be interrogated.

Seeing Emily made him emotional, he knew she was trying to be strong but he could see in her eyes that she was breaking inside and that her heart was broken.

His was to! He understood.

He walked over to her team, seeing Hotch made him angry, he remembered hearing Emily's voice when she told him what he said.

'Em...' John said.

Emily turned around and ran over to him, giving him a tight hug. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' she whispered and he knew she had tears in her eyes now.

He returned the hug, starting to stroke her back he whispered 'it's alright, don't blame yourself, it's not your fault okay' he said, stroking her hair.

'I never wanted it to be like this' she whispered, her face was buried in his neck, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

'It's alright, I know' he whispered back 'your team are staring by the way...' He said, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

'I don't care, let them stare... I want to find our daughter' Emily said back.

'So do I baby, so do I' John said, he kissed her head lightly and let go of her.

Emily stood back, looking at him 'I don't know how to deal with this'

John moved some hair out of her face and said 'you don't have to deal with it alone, we can go through it together' he took a deep breath 'he needs to question me now, so let's go, because I want to find her as much as you do' he said and seeing Emily nod he took her hand and kissed her head again before they walked to the rest of the team.

'You look good by the way' Emily said with a small smile.

'Of course I do, you do too' John said back quietly.

John walked up to the team and they all said hello before Hotch said that he had to interview him.

'Of course' John nodded, following Hotch and Rossi into the interviewing room.

'Good luck and be honest' Emily told him 'I'm not allowed in there'

'Thanks and I will be honest, I understand and remember what I said last night' John said the last bit quietly before going in.

Emily nodded " _it's not your fault_ " she thought to herself.

'So John, where were you the day your biological daughter, Lilly was taken?' Hotch asked first.

'I was at home for a bit before I went out to meet someone' John answered honestly.

'To meet your daughter? Maybe take her away' Rossi suggested.

'No I promise I... Why would I take my daughter?'

'Because your her biological father, maybe you wanted her back...'

'No you've got it all wrong' John answered.

'I don't think we do' Rossi said.

'Yea you do because I didn't even know Lilly was missing... When I got told that e... Karly was pregnant, when she told me, I told her I didn't want the baby, I was too young, I couldn't be involved in this, I made a mistake and I'm sorry for that, I never meant to hurt her' John said, looking at Emily through the glass window.

'You made a mistake?' Hotch asked.

'Yea I made a mistake when I told the mother of my child to deal with it and leave me out of it because I was too irresponsible... I regret that and I honestly didn't know she gave birth to our daughter' John said.

'How can you not have known?' Rossi asked.

'Because she moved away, I thought she had an abortion... And she was left to deal with it on her own...' He answered quietly. 'I swear to you I didn't take my daughter, I want to find her, I will do anything to help, just as long as you find her'

Emily had tears in her eyes, she hated that John was being interrogated like that, it was bringing up memories she didn't want to remember. She told John not to blame himself or feel guilty because she understood, she was young when she got pregnant.

It was difficult to watch and hearing John say that he thought she had an abortion killed her. Hearing him say he made a mistake and hearing him apologize for hurting her nearly made her cry, but she had to be strong, strong for her team, strong for John and most importantly strong for Lilly. She was standing next to JJ who was watching her carefully.

'Are you okay Emily?' JJ asked.

'I don't like watching him being questioned, it's painful for him, he didn't do it, I know he didn't, he wouldn't do something like this' Emily answered.

JJ nodded in return, she believed that he didn't do it too 'what did he say to you yesterday?' She asked.

'He told me he was sorry and that it wasn't my fault but it doesn't matter now' Emily answered, she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

JJ was going to ask another question but Hotch came out so Emily looked at him, with tears in her eyes and shook his head 'it's not him, he wouldn't do this, he's telling the truth he told the mother to get rid of her, and that it was a mistake'

Hotch didn't know whether he believed John and Emily or not 'he has motive and opportunity, what did he say to you yesterday? I heard him say remember what I told you last night'

'He said that he was sorry and it wasn't my fault if you have to know but it wasn't about this case' Emily lied.

'Agent Hotchner' John said when he came out.

'Yes'

'Could I talk to you and Emily privately please' John said.

'No John please don't, it's fine'

'It's not fine baby' John told her, giving her a look.

'Yea lets talk in a different room' Hotch said, wanting to know what this was about.

Emily sighed, she was going to kill John.

'What's this about?' Hotch asked.

'Nothing' Emily answered right away.

'I think that you should apologize to Emily' John started.

'Excuse me?' Hotch replied.

'John stop' Emily begged.

'What you said to her yesterday, about my daughter cutting herself because of her biological mum...' John said, getting interrupted by Emily, when she put her lips on his, trying to silence him.

'Hotch ignore him, it's fine' Emily said, putting her hand over John's mouth.

John took her hand away 'babe it's not fine' he said to Emily then turned to Hotch 'she was really upset yesterday after what you said'

'Emily...' Hotch started.

She shook her head 'no don't, I'm going back to work, John I'll see you later okay' she said, walking out of the room before they had a chance to say anything.


	10. Nightmares and Feelings!

**Where's My Baby?**

 **Chapter 10 –Nightmares and Feelings!**

Later that day after having a coffee with John, she had a go at him for saying what he did. After getting back to her hotel, ignoring most of her team. Especially Hotch, Emily had about 2 hours of dreamless sleep. Then her missing daughter came into her dream and her heart started beating faster. She was happy that she knew why she had the bad feeling but she wasn't happy about anything else.

 ** _She saw her daughter locked up, in a dark, cold room shaking by the corner and her heart broke. Suddenly a man came in, he was big and tall and holding a knife 'get up' he shouted, when she didn't he slapped her. Emily flinched. 'Now' he demanded._**

 ** _Lilly got up slowly, crying and her legs were shaking, she walked over to him and he grabbed her arm dragging her outside. They were near loads of trees and a lake, it looked like a cabin._**

 _' **I'm sorry' Lilly screamed, he just cut her upper arm and told her to shut up. 'I tried to stop her I really did' Lilly said whilst crying.**_

 ** _She screamed and the older man laughed 'no one can hear you, so you can scream all you like bitch'_**

 ** _She kicked her legs as he carried her down towards the lake._**

 _' **Please don't I'll do anything' she cried.**_

 _ **'Too late now' he replied. 'You should have saved her when you had the chance'**_

Emily forced herself to wake up then, breathing heavily with tears in her eyes. She sat up in bed, wiping the tears that had fallen. 'Please don't do anything to her' Emily begged quietly.

She got up, pacing around the room, in her dream they were in a cabin near a lake and the woods. She went to get the picture she had gotten from John and looked at it.

Lilly was smiling in the picture, a lake and trees behind her, just like in her dream. She smiled, running her hand over the picture. The same.

She went to check the time and saw it was 2 in the morning. She sighed, she really didn't want to wait until the morning, but what could they do at this time?

She got her card, and done her hair and walked out of her room. She walked across the hall to another room and knocked on the door, waiting.

Emily didn't have the patience and knocked on the door again, louder this time. She waited another moment before knocking. She wanted to shout but it was 2 in the morning and her team members would have woken up.

She heard some footsteps and then heard the door open. She didn't even wait for him to say anything, just stepped through the door and closed it behind her.

'Emily? What are you doing here? It's 2 in the morning. I was asleep you know, I think you…'

'Shut up…' Emily said, quietly. He did out of surprise and she sighed 'I think he's keeping her in a cabin'

Hotch frowned 'okay… where's the cabin then?' he asked.

Emily shrugged going to sit down on his warm bed and told him where it was then said 'I have a feeling it is Ashleigh Smith's father… and Lilly put up one hell of a fight when she got taken' she told him, feeling a bit proud of Lilly for doing that but she also felt sad, she never wanted her to fight back and she shouldn't have to.

Hotch followed but stood in front of her 'okay well we're going to have to do it in the morning, we still need to interview him first… and how do you know this?'

'Yea I know but I have a feeling… what if we don't have enough time' Emily said. 'I had a dream and I saw a picture of her and Ashleigh they were at a cabin, near a lake and woods'

'Emily we have to go by the book, you know that…' Hotch told her. 'Why is this case so important to you?' he asked, needing to know.

'I just don't like that the mother didn't do anything to help Lilly… and I know her' Emily lied, making up an excuse; she didn't know what to tell him.

'Okay… why don't you go back to bed and try to get some sleep, start fresh in the morning' Hotch said softly, running a hand through his hair, putting his other hand on her, rubbing her shoulder.

Emily sighed, that seemed to calm her down a bit.

Emily rolled her eyes and sighed 'we might not have the time…' Hotch gave her a look and she said 'fine, I'll go back to bed' she got up and turned around as she got to the door. 'Sorry for you waking you up' she told him then walked out, closing the door behind her.

She walked back to her room and sat down on her bed. She was never going to go back to sleep now.

As she walked out of Hotch's room and back to her room she thought no one was awake, but Rossi saw her and he frowned, that looked weird, Emily coming out of Hotch's room at 2 in the morning, he would have to ask them about that in the morning.

* * *

She got up again and started pacing the room; she had to think of something. Had to do something, not just pace.

She decided to get in the shower then get dressed, checking how much time she had wasted, she saw that she had only killed half an hour so she decided to do her hair and make up.

Once she had done that, she looked at the time; it was now 4 in the morning. She sighed, this was becoming the longest night she had, had in a long time.

She went outside, needing some fresh air; she took her bag with her and went to the same place again.

She sat down on the bench, checking her phone. She sighed, the others would be up in about an hour or so, that was too much time for her. She got out a cigarette, lighting it and took a drag, closing her eyes. 'Have you got any new information?' Emily sent Penelope a message.

She spent a bit of time outside just thinking, whilst she had her cigarette, she had been doing a lot of that lately and she didn't want to think anymore, just wanted to forget.

Emily decided to drive to the cabin. When she got close to where the cabin was, she turned the headlights of. Once she parked the car, she got out quietly, she didn't see another car and it was dark, she didn't want to use a flashlight either just in case he was in there.

If he was there and he was the UNSUB, she didn't have back up so then she would be in trouble. She looked around the cabin for a bit, peeping into the windows to have a look. The place gave her the creeps and it was getting light so she decided to get out of there and head back before everyone got up and realised she was gone.

She got back in time and went back inside when she saw what time it was, the team would be awake and getting dressed now so she went to the bar, waiting for them. She got another message from Garcia 'I just got in; I'll tell you when I find something'

She ordered a coffee then went back to her room, putting some more spray on and checking her bag, she walked out of her room just as JJ and Hotch came out.

'Did you get some sleep after that?' Hotch asked, looking at Emily.

Emily rolled her eyes and replied 'what do you think?' And in return Hotch nodded.

They all went downstairs and ordered breakfast for them all then waited for the rest to come down.

Emily still felt a bit hurt by Hotch's words yesterday, even though she knew it was stupid because he didn't know. She didn't talk to him much. She just stayed quiet, drinking her coffee.

About half an hour later the team had eaten breakfast, apart from Emily, who had just wanted coffee, and now were on their way to the police station.

Emily went with Hotch and Rossi again, it wasn't as awkward or uncomfortable as it was yesterday so Rossi was happy for that.

'When are we going to pick up Paul Smith?' Emily asked from the back, saying his name with a bit of anger.

Hotch shook his head and rolled his eyes, knowing she knew the answer, she was just being impatient. 'We are going to go soon, but you are staying here okay'

'Why?' Emily asked annoyed, knowing the answer.

'It's not a good idea' Hotch replied.

Emily glared at him, in return. She took out her phone and sent Garcia a text. 'Hey PG, can you get Paul Smith, please can you get his address?'

'Sure thing, call you in a second' Garcia replied.

'So what were you two doing at 2 this morning?' Rossi asked.

'Sleeping' Hotch answered, looking at the road again, he was blushing and so was Emily.

'Sleeping' Emily answered.

'In the same room?' He smirked.

'What are you getting at Rossi?' Hotch asked, they didn't do anything.

'I saw you Emily, coming out of Hotch's room at 2 this morning, you looked...' Rossi smirked.

'It's not what you think' Emily answered. 'I just had trouble sleeping and I…' that didn't sound good, Emily thought to herself.

'She told me what she thought, happened to Lilly Thomson' Hotch continued for Emily, seeing she was stuck.

'Okay then…' Rossi said back, sounding unbelieving.


	11. Questioning Paul

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 11– Finding her!**_

Garcia called them, when they got to the police station and told them the address, JJ and Emily stayed behind, whilst the others went to go and pick up Paul Smith.

'How are you holding up with the case Em?' JJ asked, whilst they were working.

'I'm fine' Emily smiled. 'I mean it's a bit difficult you know; I feel bad for Lilly and the biological mother…' Emily started.

'Why?' JJ asked, worried about her.

'Hotch just said that Lilly might hurt herself because apparently her biological mother abandoned her when she was a baby' Emily said, quietly and angrily, she got tears in her eyes and shook her head. 'And you know the mom never got the chance to know her'

'Oh my… that doesn't sound like Hotch, I'm sure it's not true' JJ frowned.

'Yea I hope not… I don't know why he said it, I think he's just stressed' Emily said, making excuses for him.

JJ nodded her head 'that's why you were upset the other day'

Emily nodded her head in response to her question.

'Do you want me to talk to him for you? I mean you were crying Em' JJ said, concerned.

'No please don't' Emily begged, shaking her head, she didn't need Hotch to know that.

JJ stayed silent for a minute and then said 'okay, only if you're sure'

They got back around half an hour later with Paul and he stopped when he saw Emily.

'Wow, Lilly has your eyes, so beautiful' Paul stared at Emily 'I've always wondered what you look like in person, she does look like you' Hotch got angry and told him to shut up and took him into the interviewing room.

Paul refused to say anything; he only wanted to talk to Emily. Hotch sighed and said 'okay Prentiss, I want you to go in there and see if you can get anything. I'll be with you'

Emily didn't want Hotch in there with her. 'I can go in by myself' she told him. Hotch looked at her and said he's going with her, she still didn't want that but she didn't want to waste anymore time so she just nodded her head and quietly walked in to the room.

Paul smirked and said 'hello…'

'It's Agent Prentiss' she replied.

'Hello Agent Prentiss' he said sarcastically.

'What have you done with Lilly?' Emily asked.

'She really looks like you, you have the same hair and eyes and she reminds me of you, the way you stand… are you her mother?' Paul smirked.

Emily wanted to slap him, she just clenched her fists instead 'where is she?'

'I don't know what you're talking about' Paul denied. 'How's John… her biological father right?'

'Shut up…' Emily started 'yes you do, now tell me where she is' Emily told him, getting more angry.

'It sounds like you're a very protective mother Agent Prentiss' Paul laughed. 'You know she's told me a bit about you, I know you didn't raise her but how did you let this happen if you love her as much as I know you do, I mean who doesn't love their daughter right?' he responded sarcastically.

'Tell me where she is' Emily said slowly, not denying or admitting anything to him.

'Let me ask you a question'

'No' she replied.

'I think you know where she is' he replied instead.

'I'm done with him'

'Lilly was nice, but she drove my daughter to kill herself' Paul told her.

Emily closed her eyes, they found out why he had started killing, now he only needed to tell her where she was.

'I'm sorry to hear that' Emily replied, then walked out before he could say anything else.

'Your daughter made my baby girl kill herself so I killed them instead and now your daughter has to pay' he said and then the last thing she heard was his laughter.

She turned back and went over to whisper something in his ear 'my daughter doesn't deserve what you did to her... now tell me where she is'

'No... Find your daughter yourself' he replied looking her in the eye. 'You've done a lousy job so far, letting her go missing and getting hurt... I'll tell you one thing though... She's as feisty as you are, she has the same passion and stubbornness that you have' Paul added 'I'm not going to tell you where she is, and by the time you find her she'll probably be dead because of dehydration' he taunted.

'I will hurt you, for hurting her and I hope you rot in hell you son of a bitch' Emily said back.

'Maybe this is what you get for giving your daughter away huh? The pain you feel, it hurts doesn't it, when you lose a child' Paul said. 'I couldn't imagine losing a child twice, not after finding out the truth'

She hit the table in anger and screamed at him, 'where is Lilly?'

The police officers arrested him and read him his rights, then left him with the other officer. Hotch taking Emily out of the room.

He went straight to Emily; they were all looking at her. 'Just because she has my eyes and my hair or whatever doesn't mean she's my daughter, plus we interviewed the biological mother yesterday' Emily shouted. Hotch put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down but removed it when she tensed 'we need to go to the cabin, like I told you'

Hotch sighed and said 'Okay'

'And I'm coming with you, you can't make me stay here again' Emily said seriously, determination in her eyes.

Hotch felt he had to say yes, he knew she would find a way to get there anyway if he said no so he nodded his head 'okay, you can come'

'Good' she said and left, getting her things ready.

Everyone gave Hotch a look and he sighed, then everyone left.

Hotch and Emily went in one car and JJ, Reid, Morgan and Rossi went in the other.

'Drive quicker' Emily demanded, her heart beating fast.

'You know I can't…' Hotch started.

'I don't care… drive faster now' she shouted at him.

'Stop shouting Emily' Hotch warned, driving just a little bit faster.

'She might be bleeding or starving or dehydrated, you need to drive faster' Emily glared at him.

'I just did, we will get there in 5 minutes okay so calm down' Hotch said. 'How do you know Lilly anyway?'

'Stop telling me to calm down' she shouted at him. Emily groaned that was way too long in her mind. 'Hold on Lilly, we're on our way'

5 Minutes later!

Emily got out of the car as soon as they got to the cabin, the car hadn't stopped yet but it was slow enough for her to do that. They got there first and Emily ran straight to the door.

She knocked on the door and ran in, this is what it looked like in her picture so she knew this was the place, she didn't hear anything at first and she ran to the room she saw in her nightmare.

She was tied up to a chair, her eyes closed; she was shivering because of the cold. 'Lilly' Emily said quietly, walking towards her. 'I'm Emily'

She was just about to scream when she felt the ropes begin to untie around her wrists and feet.

'Hey baby, its okay, I've got you now' Emily whispered, crying silently, she hugged her, and moved the hair out of her face, to look at her properly.

Lilly opened her eyes and looked at Emily; she let out a cry of relief, and put her arms around her carefully.

Emily rubbed her back and made her sit back on the chair for a second so she could wrap the coat around her, then pulled her back up, walking out of the room, to meet Hotch.

'I'm taking her to the ambulance and I'm going with her to the hospital' she told him, then left.

Lilly's body was shaking and she was still crying when she got into the ambulance. Emily went to sit next to Lilly.

Lilly looked at Emily and quietly asked 'are you Emily?'

'Yea, I'm Emily, I work with the FBI' she said quietly, still crying a bit, Lilly looked down and saw Emily's hands shaking, she put her hand over Emily's carefully.

And with Emily's other hand she rubbed her arm carefully, trying to warm her up.

'How did you know where I was?' Lilly asked, between sobs.

'Well we went to your parents and asked them about you and your dad gave me a picture and told me about Ashleigh and then… sounds kind of crazy but I had a dream that you were here and it gave me a really bad feeling…' Emily stopped talking after that, knowing she was rambling.

Lilly smiled a bit and said 'thank you'

'It's no problem, it's my job, I would do it all over again without a second thought baby' Emily smiled, 'I love your room by the way, its pretty, mines boring'

Lilly laughed a bit, tears in her eyes and then said 'you read through my diary didn't you?'

Emily looked ashamed and then answered 'I'm sorry, I had to, to find out more about you so I… we could find you'

'It's okay, I understand…' Lilly answered. She saw herself and Emily; she smiled 'do you think I look like you? I think I do a bit'

Emily laughed, she felt better already 'yea I've heard we look a bit alike these last couple of days actually… yea I think you do, maybe my eyes and hair but you look like your dad, your so much prettier' she smiled, stroking her cheek softly.

'Thank you, you're pretty as well' Lilly said back. 'I've read about you before' she said.

Emily looked at Lilly; surprised 'really, I hope it wasn't too bad' she smiled when she laughed.

'It wasn't, it said you saved loads of people' she leaned her head on Emily's shoulder carefully.

'That's not too bad I guess' Emily said back smiling.

Lilly was just about to say something when Hotch came over.

'Wait you know who my dad is? Like my biological dad' Lilly asked.

Emily could feel Hotch staring at her but ignored him and answered 'yea I know who he is'

'We're going to take you to the hospital now' a paramedic said.

Emily passed Lilly unopened water and she took it gladly.

'I hate hospitals' Lilly said making Emily and Hotch smile.

'So do I baby' Emily agreed.

Hotch frowned when she called her baby but walked of to the car.

Emily took her phone out and texted John Cooley. 'We found her, we found our daughter, she's alive' she hit send just as Lilly looked back at her.


	12. Apologies and Talking!

**Where's My Baby?**

 **Chapter 12– Apologies and talking!**

Lilly stayed silent for a bit, feeling tired and Emily was on the phone talking, on the way to the hospital.

Before they arrived at the hospital though Emily came off the phone and Lilly asked 'what is my bioligical fathers name?'

'John Cooley' Emily answered quietly.

'Did he want me?' She asked.

Emily was a little surprised at the question but answered anyway by telling her 'he said he was too young but he really does want to know you and he loves you'

'Is he alive?' Lilly asked.

'Yea he is' Emily answered.

'Okay, I want to know him'

'You know even though he was young and afraid he's still a good guy and he regrets saying that he was too young everyday' Emily said honestly.

'How do you know him? Do you know my biological mom as well? I want to know her too' Lilly told her. 'Did she want me?'

'Your mum loves you more than anything in the world and she's so proud of you... You are her whole life she wanted you more than anything in the world' Emily said, a few tears going down her face again and Lilly wiped them away 'I was pregnant once, I gave birth to a baby girl' she told her. 'As for your other question... I know your bioligical dad because he gave me the greatest gift I could ever have'

'What did he give you?' Lilly asked. 'Your daughter is lucky, how old is she she?'

Emily couldn't stop the tears from running down her face as she answered emotionally 'he gave me you.'

Lilly looked at Emily shocked and couldn't speak. She had tears in her eyes though and a few tears escaped. Once her shock had subsided she gave her biological mum the biggest hug she could and smiled brightly 'I'm so glad I found you.'

'You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, I'm so happy I found you too and I'm so glad your alive' Emily said. Whilst she was waiting for Lilly to respond, she was really scared of her reaction but she was more than happy to accept the hug she got from her daughter.

'I'm happy I'm alive too, thank you for saving me'

'Anytime... I really need to explain what happened but I'll do that when your at the hospital' Emily said.

A few minutes later they arrived!

Emily got out and helped Lilly, walking with her to the hospital.

Lilly was laying down on a gurney when the doctor came, taking her away to a room where they could check on her properly.

Emily sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room, Hotch sitting down next to her!

Emily looked at Hotch, she felt so bad, she needed to apologize to him.

'Hotch…' she said softly, feeling nervous. He looked at her waiting for her to talk. 'I'm sorry… for everything, for shouting at you, for giving you attitude, for everything…' Emily said, tears in her eyes.

'It's okay; I know you were stressed…' Hotch said. 'What did Paul Smith mean earlier when you were questioning him?'

'I don't know, why would I?'

'He made it seem like she knew you' Hotch replied.

'Well I don't'

'He kept saying your daughter' Hotch stated.

'I know but I don't know her, the first time I saw her was today' Emily said. Sadly that was true. She wished Hotch would just leave it and stop asking questions.

'And you called her baby' Emily gave him a look and he added 'you don't call victims baby. This case was personal to you Emily'

'How could it have been personal if I don't know her and I can call her baby if I like, I don't have to get permission' Emily replied back.

The doctor came out and asked for Emily, as her parents weren't here yet.

'Your daughter has several wounds, I've put some stitches on and a few bandages, she'll have scars but that's about it, she didn't get raped or anything, she didn't break any bones, so she'll be okay' the Doctor told her.

'Okay thank you, I appreciate that' Emily said.

'You can go and see her now, she's in room 614 and she's asking for you' Dr Reddy told her.

'Okay thank you' Emily said again and asked Hotch if he was coming. He said no that he'll wait.

Emily nodded her head and left. She knocked on the door when she got there, and walked in quietly.

'Hey baby' Emily said quietly.

'Hey' Lilly answered back.

'Your parents are nearly here, the doctor told me you asked for me?' she asked, sounding unsure.

'Yea I did…' Lilly said, shyly looking down, picking at her nails.

'It's a bad habit isn't it?' Emily asked, sitting down next to the bed.

Lilly looked up confused, and Emily showed her, her nails, Lilly smiled and nodded her head 'yea it is, I only bite my nails or whatever when I'm nervous though'

Emily nodded her head 'so do I or when I'm… stressed'

Lilly frowned, 'are you okay?'

Emily looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded her head 'yea baby I'm okay, I should be asking you that'

'I'll be okay' she answered truthfully.

Just then Vivian and John came in and they ran up to her, hugging her carefully. Emily got up to go but Lilly noticed and said 'wait…'

Emily turned around and looked at them 'please stay…' Lilly asked and Emily was going to say something but then Viv and John asked her to stay too so she nodded.

'Mrs Thomson…' Emily started.

'Please call me Vivian' she answered.

'Vivian, I just wanted to say sorry, for what I said and how I acted, it wasn't right and I'm really sorry, I didn't mean it' Emily told her quietly.

'It's absolutely fine, I know you were just trying to find Lilly, I know you didn't mean it' Vivian answered.

Vivian and John shared a look and then looked at Lilly and Emily. 'You two look alike same hair and eyes…' John started, Emily and Lilly laughed agreeing.

'You look like your biological father a lot' Emily said quietly, Lilly looking at her.

'Um… Lilly… you know we told you, you were adopted…' Emily got tears in her eyes when she heard Vivian's words, 'Emily is your biological mum…'

Emily cried, for the first time since she had spoken to her mum and John on the phone.

'I… I know' Lilly cried too.

Emily looked up, 'yea I am'

'Yea, the fact that we kind of look alike were only one of the reasons…' Lilly joked. She looked at Vivian and John and said 'can we have a minute?'

Viv and John nodded their heads quickly and left the room.

'I'm sorry…' Emily whispered as soon as they left the room, she cried putting her hands over her face. 'I only…'

'You only what?' Lilly asked, she didn't sound angry, so Emily looked up, wiping a few tears away.

'I only found out… a couple of days ago… I'm sorry' Emily cried.

Lilly reached over and took her hands which were shaking again. 'Come and sit next to me' Lilly said softly. 'I don't know what you mean'

'My… mother' she sounded angry when she said it 'she told me you were dead… I gave birth to you when I was 16… I have thought about you everyday… I really didn't know you were alive… I'm sorry baby'

Lilly carefully put her aching arms around her biological mother. 'It's okay, you have nothing to be sorry for…' she cried, she wasn't angry, she was happy that she had finally found her mother. 'I was angry with you at first, but then I don't know, but I'm not angry with you anymore'

'I blame my mother and me… I don't know anything about you' Lilly carefully wiped away Emily's tears. 'I never wanted to give you away, I gave birth to you so I could look after you and watch you grow and be my beautiful daughter but I never got…'

'It's okay… I know you didn't want to… I don't know much about you either… but I want to' Lilly said quietly.

Emily looked at her 'you do? I mean I want to get…'

Lilly smiled and nodded her head 'I do'

'Good' Emily smiled.

'Can I ask a question,' Lilly asked unsure.

'Of course baby… what is it?'

'Did you have a name for me?'

Emily smiled brightly and nodded her head, she grabbed her bag and pulled out her purse getting out an ultrasound picture, she gave it to Lilly who looked at it. 'This is me?' she asked.

'Yea it is, I've always kept it with me… and I like Lilly better than the one I was going to name you' Emily answered her questions.

'What were you going to name me?' Lilly smiled, handing her the picture back.

'Amelia Grace' Emily answered shyly.

Lilly smiled brightly 'I love that name, it's beautiful' she said.

'Really?'

'Yea, that's a really nice name' Lilly smiled.

'I do to'

'Can I ask another question?' She asked.

'Of course'

'Do you have any more kids?'

Emily smiled sadly and stroked her daughters cheek and answered 'I wish I did but the job gets in the way and after I lost you I couldn't deal with it again I was scared it would happen again... So no but I'd like to'

'Can I meet the rest of your team? I want to thank them as well' Lilly asked.

Emily's eyes widened in surprise. 'Oh yea of course you can but are you really up to it, I mean doesn't your whole body hurt'

'It does but I can handle it, can you bring them in?' Lilly smiled.

'Of course, I'll go get them, I'll be back in a minute' Emily said, kissing her head and getting of the bed.

She went towards the door and turned around. 'I'm really happy I found you' Lilly said quietly.

'I'm happy I found you too' Emily said, tears in her eyes. 'My team doesn't know by the way.'

Lilly knew what she meant and said 'okay.'

Emily smiled before leaving the room and getting the team.


	13. Feeling Better!

**Where's My Baby?**

 **Chapter 13 – Feeling better!**

Emily and the team walked in and found Lilly sitting up in bed, talking to Viv and John.

Viv and John had stepped outside to talk and give them some privacy.

'Hi…' Lilly said shyly.

'Hey' they all replied. Emily sat down on the bed and she said their names and Lilly smiled.

'Um… I wanted to thank all of you… for saving me today…' Lilly said.

'It's okay, it's our job' Hotch replied. 'Emily did that not us, we were just there'

'Are you feeling better baby?' Emily asked stroking her hair she gave her a kiss on the head.

Lilly nodded her head and smiled saying 'my body hurts but otherwise yea, but I'll be fine soon' she replied.

'You look like Emily' Morgan said, making all of them laugh.

'Is your biological mom not coming to visit you in hospital?' Hotch asked.

'Yea she's coming later I think' Lilly said, looking at Emily.

'Yea I'm sure she'll be visiting you a lot' Emily agreed.

Emily, the team, Viv and John all spoke to Lilly for a little while longer until she got tired.

'Emily…' Lilly said, before she got the chance to walk out the door.

Emily turned around and waited for Lilly to carry on talking. 'Will you be here when I wake up?'

Emily was surprised at the question and she asked 'yea, do you want me to?'

Lilly nodded her head and lay back down, closing her eyes.

Viv and John walked outside the door with Emily, stopping to talk to her.

'Is it okay, if I'm here when she wakes up?'

'Of course it is' John answered. 'Did it go well in there?'

Emily smiled 'yea it did'

'I know she wants to get to know you… we're not going to stop her'

Emily didn't know what to say to that, so she nodded her head 'I'll be back in a bit I just need to go change at the hotel and then I'll be right back…'

'Of course, I think she'll be asleep for a very long time anyway' Viv answered. 'And thank you once again for finding her when you did'

'Its fine, I wanted to find her so badly' Emily explained.

'Okay go now, get changed' John said smiling at Emily.

Emily walked away, going to find the team, they left, all going back to the hotel, Emily getting changed.

'Lilly's nice' Hotch said.

Emily smiled brightly and nodded her head 'yea she is' she looked down when she saw the message on her phone. 'Thank god, is she okay?'

'She reminds me of you, not just the looks' Hotch said.

Emily nodded her head 'yea I guess'

'She bites her nails too' Hotch said and Emily laughed.

'Yea she does' Emily said back. 'Yea she has a few cuts and had to get a few stitches and everything but otherwise they said she would be fine. Mentally though I'm not sure' she texted back.

Hotch parked the car and turned off the engine. 'You're much happier now' Hotch said nicely.

'Thanks? Yea I really am sorry you know… this case was just stressful' Emily sighed.

'I know, I understand' Hotch replied.

'I don't think you do understand' Emily thought to herself.

Emily got out of the car, wanting to get back to the hospital as quickly as possible. The rest of the team were already in, Emily went the other way, Hotch asking where she was going.

'I'm just going to make a phone call' she told him.

'Okay' he said and walked in after a moment.

Emily went back to her place where she had been this morning and last night.

She sat down, and smiled, she felt so much better now, she had found her daughter and she was safe, she wanted to know her more. She still needed to find out why Lilly had been harming herself, not only that but she just needed to know more about her.

Emily went in her bag and then lit another cigarette, she didn't really need it but she had a very stressful day.

She quickly finished her cigarette and went back inside, telling the team she was going to get changed quickly.

She came back out nearly 10 minutes later, she had put a black zip up on this time, the case was over and she didn't have anymore long sleeved tops, to hide her arms, she had cut herself again, this time it was because she saw her daughter and she felt she couldn't help.

'I'm ready' Emily said sitting down next to Hotch, who had moved up.

'I can… why are you wearing a hoodie?' Hotch asked.

'Because I am' Emily answered back.

'Anyway I can tell that Lilly meant a lot to you and this case hit you hard so we're going back tomorrow afternoon' Hotch said.

Emily was speechless, that was sweet 'thank you'

'Its okay' Hotch said and sent her a small smile.

Emily ordered a coffee and then got her things, going to meet Hotch by the car. 'I'm going to see Lilly, I left my coat there, I need to get it, so I don't have to wear this hoodie and I said I'd be there when she wakes up'

'Of course, I'll drop you off' Hotch nodded. 'We're not going to be doing anything else today maybe just finish the file for the case so you can stay if you want' Hotch suggested.

'Thanks, I'd love that' Emily replied.

'How did the conversation with your mother go then? JJ told me you were talking to her the other day' Hotch asked.

Emily tensed 'didn't go very well actually, it was just a normal conversation between Mother and me so not much to tell' Emily said, saying Mother with anger.

'Oh, sorry' Hotch felt bad.

'Its fine' Emily shook her head. She didn't need to cry in front of her boss at the moment. Emily actually wanted to tell Hotch what was really going on but didn't feel that she could at that moment in time. She needed a bit more time to process things.

'Like I said before, if you want to talk I'm here to listen'

'I know, thanks, I'll tell you when I know what I'm dealing with and everything about the situation' Emily told him.

'Okay' Hotch smiled at her.

They made conversation the rest of the way.

'How's Lilly?' John asked her.

'She was asleep when I left her, I'm on my way back'

He dropped her off at the shops so she could get something for Lilly and then drove to the hospital.

'Just call or text when you need me to come pick you up again' Hotch said.

'I will, thank you' Emily replied and then walked off to find Lilly's room.

* * *

Emily is going to tell Hotch soon!


	14. Getting to know her better!

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 14 – Questions about the future!**_

 _Emily and Lilly stayed, talking about everything and anything they could think of, still getting to know each other._

 _Lilly started getting tired. Emily went to sit down on the chair so she could lie down._

' _When are you going back home?' Lilly asked, sounding a bit down._

 _Emily sighed and closed her eyes, moving some hair out of her face 'tomorrow afternoon' she replied quietly._

' _Oh' she said a bit happier but then looked sad again, 'can I have your number so we can talk when you go?' she asked quietly, she still wanted to get to know her mother._

 _Emily looked surprised but happy and nodded her head, 'of course you can, I'd love that,' Lilly smiled back._

' _How are you getting back?' Lilly asked._

 _Emily chuckled 'we're taking the jet back'_

 _Lilly lit up, smiling 'you have a jet, that's so lucky'_

' _Yea it is actually' Emily smiled._

' _Oh I want to get out of here,' Lilly closed her eyes, moving the hair out of her face._

 _Emily stroked her cheek lovingly and said, 'I'm sure the doctors will let you go soon, I think they just want you to stay over night so they can keep an eye on you.'_

' _The doctor did say I could go home tomorrow actually,' Lilly grinned._

' _See that's good,' Emily chuckled._

' _Yea I guess…'_

' _What's wrong?' Emily asked._

' _Will I get to see you again?' Lilly asked, a bit worried and sad._

' _Of course, I can come see you and you can come see me if you want and if your parents allow it' Emily said 'although you are over 18 so you can make your own decisions.'_

' _That is very true and good news for me' Lilly grinned._

' _I didn't say that, if anyone asks,' Emily said making Lilly laugh._

' _If I get to go home tomorrow, can you come with me, before you go?' Lilly asked._

' _Yea if you want me too,' Emily replied._

 _Lilly nodded her head and smiled. 'Can I see the jet you take?' Lilly asked._

' _I can ask my boss but yea I think you can, do you want to see it?' Emily asked with a smile._

' _Yea' Lilly replied._

' _You can even sit in it if you want, make some coffee,' Emily replied._

' _Really? Oh wow that's so cool' Lilly said._

' _Yea it is pretty fun actually, on our way back though,' Emily said._

 _Lilly stayed quiet for a moment and then looked at Emily 'could I come with you?'_

' _Back to Virginia?' Emily asked._

' _Yea' she nodded._

 _Emily looked surprised, 'do you want to? I'd love for you to come with me,' Emily said._

' _Yea, I do, if Hotch says its okay' Lilly said back._

' _I'm sure it would be' Emily said with a smile._

' _Do you have a house or an apartment?'_

' _It's an apartment, it's kind of too big for me sometimes actually, since I don't really use it much and I live on my own but yea its nice'_

' _That's cool' Lilly said with a smile. 'Would I be allowed to stay with you?'_

' _Of course you would, I have an extra bedroom, I can show you around, although it is quiet boring where I live… actually there is like a few interesting places…' Emily frowned._

 _Lilly laughed. Then yawned._

' _Oh my god, I'm sorry, I've kept you up. You should get some sleep.' She stood up going to the bed and putting the covers over her, she kissed her head and stroked her cheek. S_ _he said goodnight and then sat down again, watching her daughter fall asleep._

 _John and Vivian had come back and saw Emily and Lilly talk and laugh. They seemed so happy and comfortable together. Then they saw Emily put the covers over Lilly, like she had done it a thousand times before, and kiss her head and Viv got tears in her eyes._

 _They knocked on the door and walked in quietly, knowing she would be asleep._

 _Emily said hey quietly and then returned her attention to Lilly, just watching her sleep._

 _Emily checked her phone and saw that she had a message from each team member and then she looked at the time. Oh crap! It was nearly 11 at night._

' _I should go back… its getting late, but I'm coming back tomorrow.'_

' _Of course, she's your daughter' John smiled._

 _Emily smiled back brightly 'thank you, goodnight' Emily said and stood up, stroking Lilly's cheek, she moved away but she didn't want to, and went outside. Taking one last look at her beautiful daughter._

 _She went outside and called Hotch, asking him to come pick her up, by then it was past 11, so he got there around half 11._

 _Emily got in the car, still smiling._

' _Okay you look really happy, I didn't know you would be staying that long' Hotch replied._

' _Yea it was fun getting to know her. I'm going back tomorrow before we go…' Emily started and then remembered that Lilly wanted to stay with her._

' _Oh' Hotch said, not keeping the surprise out of his voice._

' _Oh before I forget… Lilly kind of…' Emily started, Hotch gave her a look and then Emily said 'wants to come to Virginia so… basically what I'm asking is can she… come on the jet with us tomorrow… please… I'm begging you' Emily begged._

 _Hotch was really shocked this time, he had to stop the car on the side of the road. He turned to look at her._

 _He saw the desperation in her eyes, 'I really don't want to let her down' "again" Emily thought to herself '… please, this is the only time… I won't ask again…' Emily pleaded._

 _Hotch sighed, thinking about it. 'Okay… only this time, but how is she going to get back… and are her parents okay with this?'_

' _Yea and I haven't figured that out yet' Emily responded straight away. She really hadn't thought about that bit._

 _Hotch looked at her as if she was crazy, he chuckled and shook his head 'okay, if you say so.'_

' _Really? Oh my god thank you, thank you so much,' Emily said happily, giving him a hug quickly, when she pulled back, she hit her left arm. Making it bleed again._

 _Hotch smiled at her and carried on driving to the hotel._

 _She had a wide smile when she met everyone at the hotel for drinks outside. They were laughing and drinking when JJ, who was laughing with Morgan, noticed her._

' _Hey Em, why are you smiling so much? I mean it's good but…' JJ said._

' _Because I'm happy and feeling better…' Emily turned her attention round to Hotch and asked 'what time are we going tomorrow?'_

' _1pm' Hotch replied._

' _Okay that's fine, gives me plenty of time' Emily smiled._

' _What did you do when I was at the hospital?' Emily asked._

' _Well we had fun, we went bowling and I was with Reid and Morgan and we won' JJ cheered 'even Hotch joined' JJ said and everyone laughed._

' _Hey Hotch you said you weren't going to do anything fun today' Emily said, teasing him._

' _I thought you would get out of the hospital quicker, you could have joined us' Hotch said back._

' _Actually I had a lot of fun at the hospital getting to know Lilly' Emily replied._

' _Glad you had fun' Morgan said 'I think we had a lot more fun than you did though, right JJ'_

 _JJ laughed and agreed with him and made the whole team laugh._

 _Emily, Morgan, JJ and Reid went dancing. Morgan dancing with a few random women, JJ and Reid were dancing together and Emily was asked by some guy to dance._

 _She said yes and they started dancing to a fast song until they needed a break, Emily got vodka and he went to light up a cigarette. 'Want one?' he asked after taking a drag._

 _Emily nodded her head and gave him a slight smile 'yea okay' she said and he smiled back, getting one out for her and passing her the lighter to go with it. 'Thanks' she said after lighting it up and taking a drag._

' _It's alright' he winked at her 'want another dance' he said when it was a slow song. She nodded; taking another drag he took her hand and led her to the dance floor once again. She danced slowly and was just about to finish her cigarette when Hotch came over._

 _Hotch walked over to Emily, he saw her take a drag from her cigarette and they were both shocked when he came over._

 _The guy she was dancing with let go of her and thanked her for the dance and then gave her a kiss on the lips before leaving her with Hotch._

' _Thanks…' Emily said sarcastically, taking one last drag before throwing it away and putting it out._

' _Why are you smoking Emily?' Hotch asked, angrily._

' _Hotch…' Emily said and looked at him 'I've been really stressed these last couple of days… and it was only ONE so let me…' Emily slurred, finishing the rest of her vodka._

 _Hotch was shocked and took away her drink that was empty 'Emily stop drinking and just because you've had a stressful day or week doesn't mean you should smoke' Hotch scolded her and she sent him a glare then walked of to order another drink._


	15. Talking to John

Where's my baby?

Chapter 15 – Talking to John!

Emily stayed up for a bit just sitting in bed.

'Hey,' Emily said as she answered her call from John.

'Hey back,' John said, he was happy his daughter was alive.

'So I was getting to know Lilly today at the hospital… and I HATE hospitals,' Emily told him.

John smirked, 'I know you do, so how was she?'

'She's so much like both of us, although she does take after some bad habits, they're from me though… biting nails you know… but no she's alright, she's going to be fine.'

John laughed, 'she looks like me; she has my personality as well as yours, that's the perfect combination.'

Emily laughed, 'she is amazing. I'm worried about her though, how she's going to deal with everything, the nightmares and…'

'Em, I'm worried too but I have a feeling our girl is strong, of course she'll have nightmares, but you know her adoptive parents will be there for her and so will you,' John told her.

'I hope your right,' Emily sighed.

'I am… so have you spoken to your mother yet?' John asked.

Emily stayed silent for a moment, 'let's talk about our lovely daughter instead,'she suggested.

'Em you have to talk to your mother,' John told her.

'I want to talk about my daughter, not the ambassador,' Emily said.

'She's your mother.'

'I just want to talk about Lilly,' Emily replied, closing her eyes, she was getting a headache.

John sighed. If she didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't, 'okay, but if you want to talk, you know where I am.'

'I know thanks,' Emily smiled in return.

'Does anyone on your team know? Like Hotch?' John asked.

'No, I don't want to tell them just yet, I need time to process things and sort my problems out first before I tell them,' Emily explained.

'I understand babe but it would be good, it would be a relief and it would help if you spoke to your mother,' John said.

'Okay, I'm just not ready to speak to her and I don't want her or Hotch to ruin my day, I just found my daughter and she's alive whatever Hotch said and thinks, I don't care at the moment, I just don't have the energy,' Emily said, tears in her eyes.

'It's alright, just cry it out when you're ready but don't take to long babe, you'll snap at everyone and break,' John said, worried about her.

'That isn't helping,' Emily rolled her eyes, a slight smile on her face.

'Okay, I'm just saying.'

'I know, now can we talk about Lilly instead?' Emily sighed.

'Of course' he replied. 'So…' he started but he didn't know what to ask or say.

'She's very understanding; I told her what happened with mother and Hotch. She asked and I wasn't really planning on telling her,' Emily rambled.

'That's good,' John questioned.

'Really? I don't think I should have told her about Hotch, they don't know each other and it's not fair on Lilly,'Emily voiced her opinion.

'I'm sorry babe, I don't know what to say, I mean Hotch should definitely not have said that…' he stopped.

'I know… I want to talk to someone about it… I mean I can't only talk to you or Lilly about it, I don't want to stress Lilly out… she's been through enough as it is,' Emily said sadly, a few tears going down her face.

'Who do you normally talk to?' John asked he felt bad for Emily.

'JJ or my team and they don't know so I can't,' she sighed.

'Oh, well Em you know I don't mind. You can talk to me whenever you want and I'll understand,' John told Emily, wanting to make sure she knew that.

'Thank you' Emily said gratefully.

'Anytime… now let's focus our attention on Lilly.'

'Of course,' Emily let out a sigh of relief.

Emily and John, stayed up most of the night, talking about Lilly. Emily telling John everything she knew about her.

Once they had spoken about Lilly, John asked, 'when do you think you'll tell Hotch? I mean he is your boss.'

'I don't know' Emily sighed, every time she thought of Hotch she got annoyed. Although she was happy he let Lilly fly with them.

'Emily?' John asked.

'Huh, what did you say?' Emily asked, not hearing what he said.

'I said you have to talk to him soon, even though he hurt you and I'm mad at him for that, you still need to talk to him, you can't avoid it forever,' John told her.

'I know but every time I think about it I want to scream… at him… and cry… I just don't want to look at him… and I feel bad for saying that because… he was so sweet to me today,' Emily said, feeling frustrated 'I just don't know how to feel anymore…' She finished.

John stayed silent, listening to her, 'I know, I think he should apologize for what he said to you.'

'He doesn't know that she's my daughter though… he blames Lilly's biological mother for her cutting herself…' Emily whispered 'ARGH' she screamed, it was annoying, 'I'm starting to believe him and think he's right,' Emily cried.

'Hey, shhh no, babe don't believe him, it's not true remember,' John told her, he wanted to speak to Hotch and tell him to apologize. 'I want to speak to Hotch'

'What no?' Emily said back, was he insane?

'Emily yes. I need you to believe me and not Hotch okay, Lilly doesn't cut herself because of you, so I need to speak to him and get him to apologize to you.'

'I can't let you do that.'

'I won't tell him, I'll just say you are starting to feel bad for the mother and just that he needs to apologize to you so you can get over feeling bad,' John said.

'It won't help the situation, I don't want him to apologize just because you tell him to, if he feels bad for saying that to me then he should say sorry himself on his own terms,' Emily said quietly, a few tears still going down her face.

'Okay… I still think that he needs to say sorry to you. I want to make him feel bad for what he said,' he told her, although she was right, 'before you do anything crazy,' he added.

'I won't do anything,' Emily said, wiping the tears, she was starting to get tired and yawned.

'Okay you promise?' John said.

'I promise.'

'Okay, babe I'm going to sleep now because I'm tired and so are you. You need sleep if you're going to be up early to see Lilly.'

'Alright, you're right I am tired, it's been a long couple of days' Emily said, lying down in the warm covers.

'It definitely has,' John said 'good and bad but mostly good'

'Mhm' Emily replied closing her eyes, too tired to say anything else.

'Goodnight Emily,' John smiled, knowing she was probably half asleep already.

'Night,' Emily replied quietly and John put the phone down, letting her get to sleep.


	16. Lilly flies to Virginia

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 16 – Lilly flies to Quantico!**_

 _Emily had a dream again that night but it was a happy dream this time, involving her daughter._

 _So Emily woke up feeling happy, apart from the hangover. Ready to go to the hospital again. She hated hospitals, but if it was to go see her daughter she would deal with it so she could learn more about her._

 _She stayed in bed another 10 minutes before getting up and getting dressed. She had managed to get her arm to stop bleeding after hitting it last night._

 _She had on her hoody again; she put on a pair of black skinny jeans this time and a black tank top._

 _Emily left her room and literally bumped into Hotch on the way out. 'Oh hey.'_

' _Hey I was coming to check up on you,' Hotch said._

' _I'm great,' Emily replied with a slight smile and this time it wasn't sarcastic. 'I was just going to get a coffee, do you want to come with?' she asked, she would try to keep her emotions in check for now, although if she couldn't, she was going to have a problem._

' _Sure,' Hotch said and walked down with her to get some coffee, thankful that she wasn't mad at him._

 _Emily finished her coffee, and carried on her conversation with Hotch until she checked the time 'crap, I have to go meet Lilly, she's getting sent home today, I said I'd be there.'_

 _Hotch smiled, he loved her commitment to everyone and everything._

' _Sure, do you want me to bring your go bag with you?' Hotch asked._

' _Oh crap, I completely forgot, everything's packed, do you mind? I can go and get it now,' Emily had forgotten a few things from her room anyway._

' _Sure, I'll come with you,' Hotch said and Emily nodded, she wanted just a minute alone without him but she would deal with it. 'I'm sorry for having a go at you yesterday by the way.'_

 _Emily shrugged, replying 'it's fine.'_

 _They arrived at her room and she opened the door, allowing Hotch to come in._

 _She sat down on her bed; her handbag next to her and her go bag in front of her, she had one of her razors in her go bag, so she had to get rid of it by putting it in her other bag. She definitely didn't want Hotch to know or ask questions. When she was ready, she would tell him._

 _It took a few moments but then she was done, she had checked everything and then double checked everything, then she ran to the bathroom and came back out, leaving her bag with Hotch._

' _Thanks again. I really appreciate this,' Emily smiled at him, meaning her words._

' _No problem,' Hotch replied, then he frowned, she hadn't looked at him in the eyes all morning. 'Is everything okay Emily?' he asked._

' _Yea why wouldn't it be?' Emily asked, looking down, pretending to look for something in her pocket._

' _You're not acting like yourself' Hotch explained._

" _That would be because your making me feel so guilty" Emily thought to herself, she faked a smile when she looked at him and said 'oh no that was just the case, I was stressed, like I said last night'_

' _You've been stressed before but not like that, it almost seemed personal to you' Hotch told her._

 _Emily shook her head 'okay it was personal to me and nothing is okay at the moment but don't profile me Hotch, you can talk to me about this later. I really have to go, I don't want to be late.' She told him, he would talk and she would listen, she had nothing to say._

' _Okay' Hotch said; he knew something was up and he was starting to worry about her, he didn't want to push her to open up but he didn't know what to do. "I'll talk to JJ" he thought to himself._

 _Emily smiled and thanked him again but she didn't look at him, if she did she would probably cry and she couldn't do that._

 _Emily arrived at the hospital half an hour later and went to Lilly's room. She was about to knock on the door when Vivian came out._

' _Oh hey,' Viv greeted her._

' _Hey,' Emily smiled back at her._

' _She told me all about her plans to go with you today.'_

' _Oh my god I'm sorry, if you're not okay…' Emily started._

' _It's absolutely fine, she sounds so excited to go and I can tell you are as well.'_

' _Yea, I really am' Emily smiled._

' _I'm going to get coffee, would you like some? The doctor is coming in 10 minutes,' Viv asked._

' _Yes please, that would be great,' Emily said, Viv nodded and then walked away. Emily walking in._

' _Hey,' Emily said smiling._

' _Hey,' Lilly smiled back._

' _How are you feeling?' Emily asked._

' _I'm feeling better than yesterday,' Lilly said, not lying. 'I'm just ready to get out of here.'_

 _Emily smiled, 'I'm sure you are.' She said, 'Hotch said it was okay for you to come with us.'_

 _Lilly lit up with happiness, 'really, oh yay' Lilly said a massive smile on her face, she went to hug Emily. 'Now I really can't wait.'_

 _Half an hour later!_

 _Emily was in the SUV driving to the Thomson's mansion again this time to get clothes so she could stay with Emily for a few days._

 _Once that was done they were on their way to get the jet._

' _Are you excited?' Emily chuckled, seeing her daughter, picking her nails excitedly._

' _Yea, I think it's really cool,' she replied. 'Are we there yet?'_

 _Emily laughed this time and said 'in 5 minutes.'_

' _Oh yay!'_

 _The SUV had been parked and Emily and Lilly got out, Emily holding her bags for her, she looked at the jet in shock 'wow. This. Is. Amazing!' Lilly said. 'Can I take a picture?'_

' _Yea sure,' Emily said, smiling at her reaction, 'if you think the outside is good see the inside, that's even better.'_

 _Lilly took a few pictures and then said she was ready to go._

 _They walked up the stairs and Lilly was nervous suddenly. She took Emily's hand, letting her lead the way,'its okay,' Emily smiled reassuringly at her._

 _They walked round the corner to see the team, sitting and waiting for them, 'this is one of the coolest things ever,' Lilly said, surprising the whole team apart from Hotch._

' _Oh hi,' JJ and everyone else said, surprised at seeing Lilly there._

' _Hi,' Lilly said, waving with one hand, the other hand still holding on to Emily's._

' _Let's sit down, you can sit anywhere.' Emily said._

 _Lilly smiled and let go of her hand, going to sit down on the seats, taking everything in._

 _Emily spoke to Lilly quickly and then showed her round, when the plane was in the air. 'Do you want a coffee or anything?'_

' _Do you have tea? I don't drink coffee,' Lilly said._

' _Yea sure,' Emily went and Lilly followed her into the kitchen, the two of them still talking._

 _Lilly and Emily came back and Lilly decided to get to know her mothers team a bit more._

 _They told her interesting stories and just a bit about themselves and she told them stories about herself too._

 _Hotch spoke to Lilly and Emily alone for a bit. Hotch thought the whole situation was a bit weird but didn't say anything. If Emily and Lilly were happy he didn't want to ruin it._

 _Lilly took some pictures of everything and everyone, taking pictures with her mother was the most fun for her._

 _She started getting tired, so she rested her head on Emily's shoulder, falling asleep for a bit._

 _Emily got Hotch to take a picture and he did, he thought it was sweet._

' _Do you have time to talk?' Hotch asked._

' _Talk about what?' Emily asked, knowing what the answer was._

' _This morning,' Hotch reminded her._

' _Do you mind if we talk about it later, I'm tired at the moment' Emily said, she really was tired._

 _Hotch sighed, she wasn't talking to him, he needed to know what was going on. 'When does later mean?'_

' _Later, when we're back, I don't know just not now,' Emily said._

' _Alright, you can't keep running away Emily' Hotch said and then got up, taking a seat next to JJ._

 _Emily closed her eyes, she was mad at him again and she didn't want to lose it._

 _Hotch decided to take another picture when Emily had fallen asleep too._

 _They looked so alike, it made him smile, and they seemed so close._

 _Everyone got off the jet quietly when it landed, Hotch staying behind to get their bags, he put it in the car and then went back up._

' _Hey Emily, wake up. We've landed,' Hotch whispered, waking up Emily._

 _It took a few moments but she realized where she was and who she was with. Emily nodded her head saying thanks._

' _Hey baby wake up, we're here now, we've landed,' Emily said, stroking her hair. Lilly woke up a few moments later and smiled; she was very comfortable at the moment and gave Emily a hug, as a way of saying thank you._

 _Emily hugged her back and then stood up, letting Lilly take her hand, she followed Hotch of the plane and to the SUV's._

 _Hotch frowned, he thought that was weird too, Emily didn't know Lilly and she's calling her baby like she's her mother. He was going to have to talk to her sooner or later._

 _Hotch drove with Emily and Lilly._

' _We have to go to Quantico first to get my car and then we can go home' Emily explained to Lilly who was still excited._

' _That's cool, is that where you work?' Lilly asked._

' _Yea, that's the FBI!' Emily nodded her head._

' _Oh my god,' Lilly laughed, making Emily smile._


	17. Showing Lilly around!

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 17 – Showing Lilly Around!**_

 _Hotch and Emily got out of the car, Emily going to get their bags._

' _Do you mind if I show Lilly around?... And take a few personal days,' Emily asked, taking a deep breath._

' _Of course, that's fine,' Hotch said. 'Is she staying with you as well?'_

' _Okay thanks,' Emily said, getting the bags. Emily checked her phone and saw she had a message, she opened it. 'Yea she is why?'_

' _Emily, I called yesterday you didn't answer, call me back.' Emily read, the message from her mother and tried not to clench her fists in anger._

' _I'm sorry but I was busy trying to get to know my daughter,' Emily replied to the message, sending it._

' _Emily you called her baby, she's a victim and she is now staying with you, Emily your not her mother,' Hotch said. 'It's weird, you don't even know her.'_

 _Emily smiled and opened the door where Lilly was waiting, ignoring Hotch's comment. Hotch in return rolled his eyes._

' _Do you want to come up, I'll show you around,' Emily suggested._

' _Yea, that would be amazing,' Lilly said, getting out._

 _Emily went to put their bags in her car._

 _Hotch waited with Lilly, asking her questions to get to know her a bit more, whilst waiting for Emily._

' _You're a lot like Emily,' Hotch said with a slight smile._

' _Thanks I guess… she says you don't smile a lot,' Lilly said._

' _Well that is true, but with the job we do, can't really smile much.' Hotch said. 'Do you know Emily well?'_

' _Um, I'm getting to know her. We have a lot in common I guess but yea… she's amazing.' Lilly told him, seeing Emily walking towards them._

 _Hotch nodded, not knowing what else to say. Although he did agree with her. She was amazing._

' _You ready?' Emily asked Lilly, not looking at Hotch._

 _She nodded in reply and waited for Hotch to walk first._

 _They showed Lilly around, who was taking everything in, amazed._

 _Emily showed Lilly Hotch's office and showed her were her desk was._

' _I think you work in the coolest place ever.' Lilly laughed._

' _It is quite cool I guess,' Emily agreed. 'Apart from the paperwork we have to do and all the cases too'_

 _Emily walked with Lilly to Penelope's office, she knocked on the door and told Lilly who she was._

 _The door opened and Penelope stared in shock, she knew Emily and Lilly looked different in pictures but they looked so much more similar in person._

' _Hey, earth to PG, can we come in' Emily waved a hand in front of Penelope, trying to get her attention._

' _Oh, yea sure hi oh my god,' Penelope responded, letting them in._

 _Emily laughed and shook her head 'she is crazy, but a good kind of crazy.' She told Lilly, 'we don't know what we would do if she wasn't here… she's the best.'_

' _That's actually very true,' Penelope agreed._

 _Lilly smiled and said 'I like your glasses, they're cool.'_

' _Thank you,' Penelope replied, showing Lilly around her lair._

 _About an hour later Emily and Lilly went back to Hotch's office. 'We have to go to Hotch quickly and get him out of here, otherwise he will never go home,' she said as she walked in, Hotch hearing the last bit._

' _I didn't know you were still here.'_

' _We are and now your going. I'm going to force you if you don't get out of here and you know I will,' Emily walked over to Hotch, closing his file and getting everything for him. She was mad at him still but she wasn't going to let him stay at the office all day._

' _Hold on I was…' Hotch started but stopped when he saw Emily's look. Lilly smirked, trying not to laugh at the two of them._

 _Emily took his wrist with her right hand and dragged, making Hotch get up. 'You're not allowed to take any paperwork with you either…'_

 _Hotch sighed, knowing not to argue. He looked at Lilly and said 'she's very stubborn and bossy.'_

' _I know I am, now go before I push you out of the door.' Emily said, standing behind him, ready to push._

' _Alright I'm going,' Hotch said, moving towards the door._

' _Good, come on Lilly. That was easier than I thought,' she told her, helping Lilly up who was laughing._

 _Emily and Lilly arrived at her apartment. Emily pushing the door open, letting Lilly go in first._

 _She showed Lilly her room and then everything else in her apartment. She went to put her bag in her room and then went to the kitchen, asking what drink she wanted._

 _Lilly had a glass of water, they watched a movie, and Emily found some popcorn to go with._

 _Emily and Lilly then ordered dinner, they went for some Chinese take out and had some cola to go with, Lilly had taken a painkiller and she was starting to get tired, feeling the effects of it._

 _Emily's phone went off, signaling a message but she ignored it, knowing it would be her mother again. She wanted to focus her attention on her daughter not on her anger with her mother._

 _Em saw that Lilly was starting to get tired and she smiled, stroking her back, 'why don't you go to bed, you look tired' she suggested._

 _Lilly nodded, 'okay… thank you for today and everything… I had a lot of fun' she smiled, feeling relaxed._

' _I'm glad, goodnight baby' Emily said._

' _Goodnight' Lilly said back, giving her a hug._

 _Emily went to get her phone checking her message. It was from her mother and she sighed 'Okay call me back if you get a chance and want to meet so we can talk about everything'_

' _Sure will do' Emily replied, she really wasn't in the mood to talk to her; she had such a great day, minus the Hotch situation._

 _She saw that she had gotten a message from Hotch too and she sighed 'when can we talk'_

' _Maybe tomorrow' Emily replied. "I just want him to leave me alone. Is that so difficult" she thought to herself._

' _What did you two do when you got home then, get to know each other a bit more?' Hotch messaged her back._

' _Yes we did, do you have a problem with that?' Emily answered back._

 _A minute later he called her. She picked up on the last ring._

' _Prentiss' she answered sounding really irritated now._

' _Emily… you don't normally act like this. She's a victim and your taking her home, I think she should be with her parents, you don't know each other, she seems like a nice girl but you can't baby her, your not her mum' Hotch said._

' _I'm not babying her… she's not a victim, she's a strong and beautiful young woman, who survived, if you're that bothered with Lilly staying with me then why don't you call her parents and take her home yourself' Emily told him. The words "your not her mum" ringing in her head. He had to stop saying that._

 _Hotch sighed 'you need to tell me what is going on'_

' _No I don't actually' Emily told him, she was really angry with him._

' _I'm your boss' Hotch said._

' _I DON'T CARE' Emily screamed and put the phone down._

 _She put her head in her hands and cried._

 _A few hours later Lilly came down, and Emily was holding a little teddy bear, she hadn't noticed Lilly yet, so she just watched her, staring at the little teddy._

 _Emily looked up, and realized Lilly had been watching her._

' _Oh hey, I thought you were asleep' Emily said._

' _Yea I was but I needed to get some water…' Lilly explained, and then showed her the glass. 'Aren't you tired?'_

' _Yea, I've tried to sleep but I can't'_

 _Lilly nodded, understanding 'is that your teddy?' Lilly asked with a small smile._

' _No… well yea it is I guess… I got it when I was pregnant with you' Emily told her._

' _Oh… can I see?'_

' _Yea of course' Emily said, going back to the couch, Lilly following her, sitting down beside her Emily passed the bear to Lilly._

' _It's cute, I like the pink…' Lilly and Emily both laughed. 'You've had this for 19 years?'_

' _Yea I have' Emily nodded. 'And this tattoo… for 18 years' Emily said, pulling off her hoodie to show Lilly her tattoo that said "Amelia Grace forever in my heart (with a heart)"_

' _Wow…' Lilly said in shock, not knowing what else to say, tears in her eyes. Emily smiled in return._


	18. Meeting Jack and Hotch

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 18 – Meeting Jack and Hotch!**_

 _Lilly woke up the next morning early, getting up and having a shower. She got dressed, going downstairs._

 _She saw a note that Emily had left saying she was going to the shop to get some food._

 _She smiled. Sitting down on the couch she turned on the T.V, trying to find something to watch._

 _An hour later they were having pancakes for breakfast._

' _Are you going to tell anyone on your team about…?' Lilly asked, pointing her head towards her arm._

 _Emily made a face then bit her lip. 'I don't know… I know what I do want though…'_

 _Lilly smiled and asked 'what do you want?'_

' _I don't want to stop… as crazy as it sounds' Emily said, looking down._

' _I know what you mean,' Lilly replied. 'It doesn't sound crazy to me.'_

 _Emily got tears in her eyes 'its bad… I know I should but… I feel better when I do… it's kind of sick in some way. But I will stop and I will tell Hotch.' Emily promised herself._

' _Yea it is… once you start you can't stop…' Lilly smiled sadly._

' _Definitely… so I know if I tell my team they'll want me to get help and stop but… I'm not sure I can do that yet…'_

' _They won't judge you or anything. They'll be worried yea but they care about you,' Lilly said._

' _I know which is why I feel bad… I don't know why I feel bad actually, I mean it's not that I'm hurting them, I'm hurting myself… I'll just tell them and say I stopped and that I'm talking to my therapist about it…' Emily grinned, at the end making Lilly laugh._

' _You do therapy?' Lilly asked, surprised._

' _Yea, I do… there was a traumatic event… lets just say my team thought I was dead, I had to move to Paris… anyway when I came back they made me do therapy.'_

' _Oh wow…' Lilly said, shocked._

' _Yea, so we kind of have a trust issue, but I had to do it, I didn't want to… it was horrible, not only being on my own but just everything…' Emily told her, not going into detail._

' _That must've been really difficult…' Lilly said, not knowing what to say._

' _Yea… anyway enough about that…' Emily said, feeling emotional. She didn't want to cry again._

' _What did you do when you were a teenager?' Lilly asked, not knowing much about her past._

' _Oh, um… well I moved around a lot, went to Italy, got pregnant with you, I came back here, had you…' Emily stopped; she didn't want to say it. Lilly understood and nodded her head. Emily smiled sadly and carried on, 'in the end I went back to school and then I went to college… I came back and I met Hotch,' she laughed._

' _You met Hotch… so you dated?' Lilly asked, confused._

' _No, Hotch was with someone, but he worked for Mother, so we met a couple of times and we talked…' Emily blushed. 'He's actually fun outside of work. He smiles a lot more.'_

 _Lilly laughed, 'he seems nice, I think he thinks your amazing.'_

 _Emily choked on her coffee, 'he didn't actually say that I was amazing right?' she asked, in shock. She didn't believe that for a second, not after last night._

' _I said you were amazing and he nodded his head so no but he agreed… so it counts,' Lilly laughed._

 _They spent their day like that, talking and laughing. Emily showed Lilly around a bit more._

' _Hey how's it going? Jack says hello,' Emily received a random text from Hotch._

 _Emily glared at her phone. "He can't just text me like that and pretend that nothing happened last night, I ignored his calls the rest of the night for a reason" Emily thought to herself then looked at Lilly 'Hotch is wondering how it's going and Jack, his son, says hi.'_

' _It's going good, amazing, yea well hi Jack,' Lilly said._

 _Emily replied 'It's going good, amazing we say hi and what are you doing, why are you texting me?'_

' _Jack is playing with his toys and I am watching, he says he wants to go to the park and get ice cream. How do I tell him no? I wanted to check if you were okay, you know you haven't been acting yourself lately.'_

' _Don't, say yes, it will be fun,' Emily shook her head. Lilly looked at her and she answered her silent question. 'Jack wants to go to the park and get ice cream and Hotch is asking me how to tell him no… so I said don't, say yes.'_

 _Lilly smiled, 'can we meet them?'_

 _Emily looked surprised but smiled 'sure I can ask,' she really didn't want to but if Lilly wanted to then they would._

' _Hey how about you say yes and we can meet you and go get some ice cream,' Emily suggested._

 _She got a reply straight away, 'that would be great, meet in half an hour?' Emily read the message out loud. 'Maybe we can talk,' he messaged her._

' _Good, now you can tell Hotch about…' Lilly stayed silent and Emily nodded her head._

' _Do you mind if I tell him about you too?' Emily asked._

' _Yea of course you can at least then someone knows' Lilly smiled._

' _Yea true… I think he'll be surprised I don't know…'_

 _Lilly laughed and agreed._

' _Maybe skip the talk, I think you've said enough,' she replied to the second part of his message._

 _Half an hour later!_

 _Emily and Lilly were walking through the car park when they heard Jack scream. 'Daddy, look it's Emily,' happily._

' _Hey Jack,' Emily said, smiling and waving at him. He wrapped his arms around Emily._

' _Hi,' Jack waved at Emily then looked at Lilly, 'hi, who are you?'_

' _I'm Lilly.' Lilly said, bending down to Jack's height to speak to him._

' _You look like Emily and that's a very good thing because Emily's pretty,' Jack smiled, telling Lilly. 'Are you Emily's daughter?' Jack asked innocently._

' _I know, that's very good,' Lilly said standing up again, still talking to Jack they all went over to the park when Hotch had arrived._

' _Hey,' Emily smiled at Hotch; she was being friendly in front of Jack._

' _Hey, thanks for coming with,' Hotch said back._

 _They sat down on the park bench, watching Lilly and Jack play together. 'Lilly's good with Jack.'_

' _Yea she is,' Emily smiled._

' _So how is it going with Lilly?' Hotch asked._

' _It's going good; I told her about… when you were working for my mother and she laughed, she was surprised… she thought we were going out but I told her no,' Emily laughed. 'Why do you want to know anyway? So you can tell me I'm not her mother again because I think I know, you've told me enough times.'_

 _Hotch smiled but frowned, 'why did you tell Lilly I used to work for your mum?'_

' _She asked.'_

' _That question?' Hotch frowned._

 _She laughed, 'no, about my past and I told her.'_

' _Even Doyle?'_

' _No, not really.'_

' _Oh I see…' Hotch nodded. 'I wanted to know how it was going.'_

' _There are a few things that I need to tell you actually' Emily said. 'To see if she was enjoying herself, incase she wants to go back home?' she asked._

' _Okay, Emily, it is a bit weird, you don't normally do this.'_

 _Emily opened her mouth taking a deep breath…_

* * *

 _Emily is going to tell Hotch in a couple of chapters. And Hotch will stop asking questions._


	19. Asking Hotch

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 19 – Asking Hotch!**_

' _Daddy!' Jack screamed, running towards his dad._

' _Hey buddy,' Hotch smiled at his son and sent Emily an apologetic look._

' _Hotch I need to get something from the shop quickly, I'll be back in 10 minutes tops and then I'll tell you everything' Emily told him, getting up and leaving quickly before he could say anything._

 _Hotch frowned but quickly went back to paying attention to Jack._

 _Lilly walked up to Hotch and Jack and smiled saying hello to Hotch._

' _Do you know where Emily is? I thought she was just here,' Lilly asked._

' _Oh she was but she said she had to go to the shop quickly,' Hotch told her._

 _Lilly nodded her head and then asked, 'has she said anything yet?'_

' _No. Is everything okay with her?' Hotch asked Lilly, feeling worried._

' _Yea she just said she had to tell you something' Lilly said shrugging, not knowing what else to say._

 _EP!_

 _Emily went to the car and drove to the shops to get another pack of cigarettes._

 _She really needed a smoke right now; she needed to get away from him for a bit._

 _She only had a few more in her other pack so she needed to get some more before it ran out._

 _She got back in the car and drove to the park but parked around the corner. She got out of the car, taking her bag with her._

 _She lit her cigarette and took a drag, blowing out rings of smoke into the air. She felt better already._

 _She took another drag, walking around for a bit until she finished it, she thought about having another one, she wanted to decide against it but there was only one left anyway so she took her last one and lit it up._

 _She finished her other one and put some spray on, getting in the car and driving the rest of the way to the park._

' _Sorry, I'm back' Emily said, sitting down next to him._

' _Have you been smoking?' Hotch asked._

 _Emily frowned and shook her head 'no… oh it's because there were these guys smoking outside the shop and I had to stop to answer their question,' Emily lied._

 _Hotch nodded, he couldn't tell if she was lying or not._

 _Hotch looked at her and said, 'so what did you need to tell me?'_

' _Um yea…' Emily started. That really wasn't a good start she thought to herself. She laughed. She really didn't know how to say it. It felt and was so much easier to tell Lilly. She sighed and shook her head._

' _Emily?' Hotch asked._

' _I'll be back in a minute,' Emily said and then ran over to Lilly._

' _Hey, where did you go?' Lilly asked._

' _Shops quickly… anyway I have a problem,' Emily made a face._

' _What is it?' Lilly asked. Worried, trying to ignore the fact that she smelt of smoke._

' _I can't tell him… I don't know how,' Emily shrugged and shook her head, tears in her eyes. She started shaking._

 _Lilly put her hands on Emily's shoulders to try and calm her down. 'You'll be fine, just tell him or show him, like you showed me…'_

' _It was so much easier telling you…' Emily told her._

 _Lilly smiled 'okay… I don't know either, just tell him…' she suggested, not knowing how to help. She gave her a hug and whispered she'll be fine. 'Or why don't you just tell him I'm your daughter first it might be easier' she suggested._

 _Emily nodded her head and Lilly pulled back from the hug. She said thank you then walked over to Hotch._

' _Sorry,' Emily said._

' _What's going on?' Hotch asked softly. He didn't sound mad or anything, just worried._

 _Emily shook her head, 'nothing, don't worry… it's a good thing but I just need time to figure it out,' she couldn't tell him. She didn't know how he was going to react and she was mad and hurt at the things he had said already._

 _Hotch frowned, 'are you sure? It seemed pretty important. Does it have anything to do with Lilly and why she's here?'_

 _Emily looked at Hotch with wide eyes, 'yes I'm sure and why do you have a problem with Lilly being here? You didn't before not when she was at home or when I was at the hospital with her but now you do.'_

' _I just don't think it's right…' Hotch started._

' _I can tell…' Emily said sarcastically._

 _Hotch almost rolled his eyes. 'Okay but you haven't done this with any other victim that we have saved, so what's so different with Lilly?' Hotch continued._

' _Let me ask you a question and then I'll answer yours,' Emily said._

' _Okay what's your question?' he asked._

 _Emily took a deep breath, 'why do you blame the biological mother for Lilly hurting herself?'_

' _Because apparently she abandoned her… that's no kind of mother.'_

' _How do you know she abandoned her?' Emily asked._

 _Hotch stayed quiet, 'I don't, it's just what I've been told.'_

' _So what would you say to her actual mother if you knew who she was?' Emily asked she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer._

 _Hotch thought about it for a moment, 'I would tell her, that Lilly's adoptive parents raised her well and I would ask her why,' he finished._

' _You don't know the mother personaly though, she might have had reasons she might have had no choice,' Emily said, she would not look at Hotch._

' _Every mother has a choice,' Hotch started, 'and if you were a mom Emily you would know that,' he answered, 'why are you asking all these questions anyway?'_

' _I just wanted to know,' Emily said quietly._

 _They sat there in silence for a moment._

' _What did you want to tell me?' Hotch asked._

 _Emily swallowed. 'Nothing.'_

' _I think…' Hotch started._

' _I don't care what you think,' Emily interrupted him, she had, had enough._

' _I think it is important for you to talk about it,' Hotch told her. 'And what you needed to tell me was obviously very important to you.'_

' _It's nothing, why would you care if it was important to me anyway?' Emily said, she was going to cry. 'I'll be back in a minute,' she said and ran to the car._

 _She opened the door and got in; she was finding it difficult to breathe now. Hotch's words kept ringing in her head._

" _Why would Hotch say that to the mother, when he doesn't know the reasons she gave her up?" Emily thought to herself._

 _She screamed in anger. She was almost as angry at Hotch as she was with her mother at the moment._

 _Emily put her head in her hands and cried. She couldn't stop the tears. Emily was hurt by what Hotch had said. She tried to take a deep breath but couldn't, she was starting to hyperventilate as she was crying too much._

 _Lilly went over to the car and got in; she put her hand on Emily's shoulder and asked 'what happened?'_

' _Nothing happened, I didn't tell him anything,' Emily told her._

' _Why? What did he say?' Lilly asked._

 _Emily took a deep breath…_


	20. Chapter 20

Where's my baby?

Chapter 20 – True answers hurt the most!

Emily was a broken mess.

And she absolutely hated it.

'He basically…' Emily started, she closed her eyes and shook her head, tears still running down her face 'it doesn't matter, he just thinks that I'm a bad mother because I left you' she said. 'Actually no… abandoned you that's what he said' she cried.

'You didn't leave though, I mean he doesn't know what really happened right?' Lilly asked.

'I know, I mean he said…' Emily started. 'That he would tell me the "biological mother" that she was raised well and that you're better off without me pretty much. I'm still going to tell him that you're my daughter,' she shook her head, a few more tears going down her face.

Lilly was shocked.

'He said that he had been told I didn't want you and that I would've given you away anyway,' Emily shook her head 'that's not true though I...'

'I believe you,' Lilly started 'why would Hotch judge you if he doesn't know?' she wondered, 'don't listen to him,' she said.

'I'm trying not to,' she said back.

'Why don't you go back out there and tell him that he's wrong, tell him you know what happened.'

Emily thought about it for a minute and then nodded her head 'okay,' she said and took a deep breath.

Emily stayed in the car for a few more minutes then stepped out, going to see Hotch.

She didn't really want to but she knew she was going to have to in the end.

She sat down next to him and took a deep breath.

'Do you know what Mrs Thomson told me…?' Hotch started when she came back and sat next to him.

'I don't care what she told you, it's not true' Emily interrupted.

Ignoring her comment he carried on telling her 'she told me that her biological mother was going to have an abortion but she decided to give her away instead because she didn't want her'

'How do you know she did that now?' Emily asked.

'Because Mrs Thomson told me what happened' Hotch told Emily.

Emily laughed, in disbelief 'did Mrs Thomson tell you who the actual mother is as well' Emily asked sarcastically.

'No but I wish she would've…' Hotch started.

'Why? So you can go and find her. Tell her what you just told me; make her feel even guiltier for "abandoning" her baby?' Emily asked; she was really mad at him now. She felt like crying and slapping him, she had tears in her eyes, sometimes she just couldn't control her emotions and this was one of these times.

Hotch looked at her 'I think the biological mother already feels guilty for doing that, I would just want to find out why and tell her that Lilly turned out great,' Hotch finished.

'That's very nice' Emily said sarcastically. 'What did she say about Lilly's dad?'

'She didn't know about her dad so she couldn't really tell me anything,' Hotch said.

Emily felt quite relieved that Hotch didn't say anything about John, they'd been speaking again everyday and he was being supportive.

'That's good,' Emily said. 'I'm sure the mother had her reasons for what happened and I think you should listen to them before jumping to conclusions, you need to know the full story before you judge the mom.' Emily finished. 'Do you not like the mother?' she asked after a few seconds, not giving him chance to answer.

'Well I don't know her but I don't like what I've heard,' Hotch answered.

'I think you should find out the full story first because like you said you don't know her and you know, she might not of had a choice' Emily said again.

'I will I'm going to look for the mother' Hotch told her calmly.

Emily coughed and looked up at Hotch, 'you're what?'

'I'm going to look for her mother.'

'Why?' Emily asked.

'Because…'

'You want to find out what happened? I don't think that's a good idea,' Emily said, now she was worried.

'Why?' Hotch asked her.

'Because she doesn't know you and it's not really any of your business. Loads of people give up their children everyday, we've had cases like that before, so why do you want to look for Lilly's biological mum?' Emily said, trying to change his mind.

Hotch answered 'Mrs Thomson said the mum had done some things that weren't right'

Emily frowned 'that doesn't mean you have to look for her' she said back. " _I know I've done a lot of wrong things in my life as a teenager but getting pregnant and giving birth wasn't one of them_ " Emily thought to herself and sighed 'and that doesn't mean Vivian isn't lying' she finished.

'She sounded very serious and I don't think she was lying' Hotch told her 'Mrs Thomson said the mother would've kept the father away from her baby'

'What?' Emily laughed in shock ' _I wouldn't have done that, I had no reason to, he didn't want the baby anyway_ ' Emily thought to herself.

'I don't know who the father is so I can't say, he could be in prison for all I know,' Hotch said 'but Mrs Thomson said that her mum might not have wanted the baby anyway and even if she didn't I think she should've kept the baby.'

'Oh, you don't know the father so you can't say, you don't know the mother either but you can say things about her? That makes a lot of sense,' Emily said quietly " _I didn't want the baby now? That's news to me. If I didn't want the baby I would've had an abortion or given it up for adoption but I wouldn't abandon her. I only gave birth to her so I could have her and raise her. What did my mother tell her?_ " Emily thought to herself.

'Do you believe that about the mother too?' Emily asked sarcastically.

'I don't know,' Hotch replied and Emily rolled her eyes.

She felt a tear slip down her face and she quickly wiped it away.

She wouldn't allow herself to cry, not in front of Hotch but it was hard for her to keep emotions in check right now.

The topic was way too personal for her and she wanted to talk to Hotch but she was scared of what he would say now.

She didn't even trust herself to speak because she wanted to say a lot of things to him right now and if she started she knew she wouldn't stop.

'I never thought you would be that judgmental' Emily started. 'I mean you don't even know her, her story or what she's been through and you're judging her already?' she finished quietly. That was partly true, unfortunately they did know some of the things she had been through and those were the things she wished they didn't know.

'Do you know the mother and what her story is?' Hotch asked.

'I don't want to talk about it anymore, it was just a question and I think you made your answer VERY clear' Emily said; if she wasn't careful she was going to break down soon, just like John had said.

Hotch's eyes widened and he looked at Emily again, who was looking down, she moved her hand to wipe away her tears and Hotch felt really bad.

'Emily…' Hotch said softly.

'Hmm' she answered.

'Look at me' he told her. He waited a few moments but when she didn't he put his hand on her face.

She looked up at him tears in her eyes. She wiped her cheeks and sent him a fake smile. 'Yea?' she asked, when he didn't say anything.

'I'm sorry' he said softly and sincerely, he really felt bad.

'For what?' she asked, sounding very impatient.

'For making you cry' he told her.

'You didn't make me cry…' Emily said looking down.

'I did and I'm sorry,' Hotch said back. When she looked up at him another tear slipped down her face and he wiped it away carefully.

'It's not your fault' Emily said quietly, it wasn't, well not really, she did ask him and he answered truthfully, the answer hurt though. She was half lying to him anyway; she didn't tell him that she was Lilly's biological mom.

Maybe his answer would have been different if he knew.

'It is' Hotch said back. Emily shook her head in response. 'You know the mother don't you?' Hotch stated more than asked.

Instead of answering his question Em just sighed and said 'Yes and I'm sure she had reasons…'

'Who is it?' Hotch asked softly.

Emily shook her head and looked at him. 'So you can find her?' she asked again.

'I just want to know what happened' he told her. 'I won't judge her.'

'You already have' Emily said.

Emily shook her head; a few more tears ran down her face. She took a deep breath and said quietly 'I can't, I can't tell you.'


	21. Chapter 21

_**Where's My Baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 21– Hotch's reaction and apologies!**_

 _'Emily… you're right, I don't know who the mother is so I shouldn't judge her, but I can't help it, I just don't like that she left her little girl.'_

 _'You've mentioned that' Emily glared at him. 'Just try not to judge her, I mean we… you don't know the full story.'_

 _'I know,' Hotch said. 'So why is Lilly really here?'_

 _Emily sighed, 'we're really back to that; I thought you would let that go'_

 _'I'm interested to know,' Hotch told her. 'Actually, why have you been acting so weird lately?' he asked._

 _Emily rolled her eyes._

 _'I haven't...' Emily replied._

 _'Yes Prentiss you have' Hotch said._

 _'I don't want to talk about it,' Emily said._

 _'You never do' Hotch said._

 _Emily's mouth dropped open in shock 'what? Hotch you NEVER talk about anything that's bothering you,' Emily said._

 _'Okay don't worry…' Hotch started 'I'm sorry for what I said on the case by the way, I didn't actually mean it, I was just stressed and I took it out on you.'_

 _Emily bit her lip and nodded her head, she didn't need to be reminded and she didn't know if she believed him._

 _'I feel really bad because I could tell this case affected you a lot after I said that,' Hotch said to her._

 _'Yea it did, but lets forget about it,' Emily said, she didn't know what to say. She had tears in her eyes. The case had affected her before he had said that, it just affected her more after he said it.'I'm sorry as well by the way... for how I was acting.'_

 _The words Hotch had used, hurt her. She would have been hurt if anyone had said it, but the thing is; it hurt more because Hotch said it and she trusted him more than anything._

 _'It hurt when you said that,' Emily said before she realized what she had said._

 _Hotch frowned 'why?'_

 _Emily's eyes widened and she said, 'I guess because… I never thought you would say something like that… blame the mum when you don't know her and what happened.'_

 _'I'm sorry but you have to know I didn't mean it, I wasn't talking about you' Hotch said sincerely._

 _Emily nodded her head 'I know,' she answered, it was still aimed at her, she's still her mother and he still doesn't know, so whether he thought he wasn't saying it at her he was in a way._

 _'How's your mother?' Hotch asked, changing the conversation._

 _'I don't know I haven't really spoken to her,' Emily said and cleared her throat, now she was uncomfortable._

 _'Oh, you were speaking to her on the case though,' Hotch said._

 _'Yea she knew the Thomson's I guess, so I was asking her questions,' Emily responded, that wasn't all a lie._

 _'Right,' Hotch frowned, 'you didn't find anything useful to help us with the case?'_

 _'The case is over' Emily sighed._

 _'You can't withhold information like that on a case Emily,' Hotch said._

 _'I know but it doesn't matter what I found anyway.'_

 _'What did you find out?' Hotch asked._

 _'Nothing useful and it was to do with Lilly,' Emily closed her eyes, she wasn't supposed to say that but it was the truth._

 _'Emily… what did you find out?' he asked again._

 _'We are not on the case anymore Hotch so it doesn't matter.'_

 _'Well Emily you still withheld information from us, on the case it might have been useful and it definitely would have mattered then,' Hotch answered. He never thought Emily would do that._

 _'No I don't think so but like I said it doesn't matter, we found the killer,' Emily said tears in her eyes._

 _'This case was personal to you, that's why you wanted to find Lilly so badly,' Hotch stated._

 _'What? You think I would be allowed to work on that case if I was to close to it?'_

 _'No' Hotch said, seeing Emily's point. 'Why do you think Paul Smith said that to you when we interviewed him?' Hotch asked._

 _'Said what?' Emily asked, he said lots of things to her that day._

 _'He said that you were a protective mother,' Hotch said._

 _'Mhm well I don't know, I'm not a mum remember,' Emily started sarcastically. 'I think maybe he thought I was… but he's right, if I was a mom I would be a very protective one,' she finished._

 _'Are you sure that's all? Because it seemed like he knew you,' Hotch said worriedly._

 _'Yes Hotch I'm sure,' Emily said.'I'd never met the guy until then.'_

 _She needed a breather; she needed a few minutes alone away from him. 'I need to grab something from the car' she told him and got up, going away._

 _She got into the car and sat down, leaving Hotch worried about Emily._

 _Something was going on with her and he thought that he knew what it was. Lilly might know._

 _He would ask her when he got the time._


	22. Cherishing the moments

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 22 – Cherishing the moments!**_

Emily and Lilly made it back a few hours later. After about an hour Emily and Lilly went shopping for a bit buying dresses, make up and new shoes.

They went to drop their bags off in their rooms.

They decided to eat out for dinner. They had a shower and put on their new dresses.

Emily went to stand in front of the mirror starting to do her make up, she had put her hair up in a messy bun.

She put on her mascara first and she was in the middle of doing her eyeliner when Lilly came over to do her make up and hair.

She moved out of the way for Lilly, so she could carry on with her make up on the side.

After Emily had finished her hair she helped Lilly with her hair because she loved the way her hair was done; Emily was surprised but did it happily.

It was a new and brilliant experience for both of them and they both loved it, Emily was starting to wish she had another little child she could do this with, watch and grow, a little girl so she could do her hair, when she got older she could do her make up and threaten every boy she meets or dates.

She really wanted the chance to do that, since she didn't get that chance with Lilly when she was young but now that she had the chance she was going to take it for granted and cherish every moment.

Lilly was enjoying every moment she had with Emily, she had always wondered if Emily would've done this when she was younger. It wasn't that Lilly couldn't do her hair, she just wanted to see what it would be like if her biological mother did her hair.

Emily was gentle whilst doing her hair, in her own world, thinking. Then she realized she hadn't said anything yet so she decided to make conversation. She had already told Lilly she loved her dress so she decided to ask a question.

'Did Vivian do your hair often when you were little?' Emily asked, she hadn't asked that question before; she didn't know what Vivian did and didn't do with Lilly. She was hoping that she could do some of the things Vivian didn't do with Lilly so at she least had the experience if she wasn't old enough already.

Emily was trying to be a mum, she didn't know if she was doing or saying the right things and she couldn't ask JJ because she didn't know.

'She did it sometimes on weekends and sometimes on weekdays when I went to school but if she didn't I would do my hair,' Lilly told her.

Emily smiled but she didn't really know what to say 'that's nice,' Emily said instead.

'Did your mom do your hair?' Lilly asked.

Emily smiled sadly and shook her head, 'no, I had a hair dresser doing my hair most days, she was gone most of the time so she couldn't really do my hair and if she wasn't gone, she was busy or she just wasn't at home,' she told her.

'Oh sorry,' Lilly said guiltily, she felt bad for asking.

'No its okay, you don't have to apologise,' Emily said and finished the last bit of her hair. 'Okay your hair is finished now.'

Lilly smiled brightly and looked at her hair in the mirror 'thank you so much I love it'

Emily smiled back just as bright and said 'it's alright, I'm glad you like it.'

Emily checked her phone and saw that they still had time.

'Lilly… did Hotch make you feel uncomfortable earlier when he asked about my mom? Because I told him to stop and he shouldn't have done that, so I'm sorry.'

'It's okay, you didn't do anything. I just got a bit uncomfortable because I didn't know what to answer.'

Emily sighed, 'he just wants to know what's wrong with me,' she shook her head.

'There's nothing wrong with you, he's just worried,' Lilly said.

'I know but I don't need him to worry about me,' Emily said, sitting down.

'He cares, that's why.'

'I wish he didn't,' Emily told her, it would be weird. She's still getting used to being cared about.

Lilly nodded and said, 'let's talk about something else then, he seems to bother you sometimes from what I can tell.'

'Oh you're definitely right about that, he does and he's my boss so I can't really do much about it,' Emily said, 'anyway…' Emily checked the time again, 'let's go.'

Lilly smiled and nodded her head when Emily said, 'okay, I'm ready I just need to get my purse.'

Emily and Lilly left her apartment, ready to go to the restaurant; they got in the car, still talking.

Lilly and Emily had a nice time at the restaurant and by the time they got back they were extremely tired, from the day.

Emily was lying in bed that night, thinking of her day with Lilly and Hotch and Jack, she had fun apart from what Hotch said, that ruined her day.

Emily was thinking of Lilly, she only had a few days left and then she was going to leave again, go back home and the apartment will suddenly feel so empty again, Lilly made her happy, when she was with her she felt happy and at peace. Emily and Lilly were making memories, new and fun memories that she would cherish and remember for ever.

Emily was going to take advantage of having Lilly around, although she knew she couldn't get used to it because she was only going to get disappointed when she left. She would cherish the moments she had with Lilly now and remember the fun times they had together at a later date, when she was upset or was having a bad day.

Lilly was thinking about everything that had happened that day and in the last couple of weeks. She was more than happy she had found her birth mother and she was happy that she was getting to know her. Lilly thought that Emily was a strong person, she's spoken to her team and everyone says that Emily's one of the strongest and that she doesn't show much emotion.

Emily even said herself she's good at compartmentalizing and Lilly believed her. Then she told her she's just been too emotional in these past couple of weeks and that she doesn't have the energy to compartmentalize around Lilly because she doesn't want her to think it's not okay to show emotion.

Lilly smiled and thought that was sweet in a way. She did know it was okay to show emotion. Although she also didn't show much emotion, she liked knowing that she could express her feelings around Emily, she hadn't done that much but she was going to try and do it more.


	23. Emily tells Hotch

Where's my Baby?

Chapter 22 – Emily tells Hotch!

A couple of months later!

Emily and Hotch had been getting along lately. No where near back to how they used to be but they were getting there and they were both thankful for that.

She had asked Hotch to give her a few days off and to give her some space. Hotch gave her the days and was going to ask why but decided to leave it for now. He figured she would tell him in the end.

Emily had just gotten off the phone with Lilly and she felt happy and a lot better than she had before. Getting her messages up, she decided to send Hotch a text. 'If you're not busy, I was wondering if you could come over after work, I need to tell you something in private.'

Hotch looked down at his phone and frowned. He wondered if everything was okay and what it could be. 'Of course I will, is everything okay? I'll come round after work.'

Emily sent Hotch a reply saying okay. She was nervous now, about telling him. But she knew it was best. She was going to open up to him and she hoped he would react well to the news. Well at least try not to be angry with her, considering what she was going to tell him wasn't very good.

Hours later!

Hotch knocked on Emily's door, waiting patiently. He had been wondering all day what Emily wanted to tell him.

Emily felt the nerves rise again when she heard a knock on her door. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. Giving him a smile she stepped back to let him in. She didn't know whether the smile was real or fake at the moment.

'Hey, do you want a coffee? I just made some,' Emily said quietly.

Nodding in response, he followed her and thanked her when she gave him a hot cup of coffee, which he really needed at the moment. 'Is everything okay?'

'Yeah… no,' Emily started. 'Let's sit down instead.' Sitting down next to her, Emily spoke. 'I won't take up much of your time, because I know you're really busy… just I have one request.'

'What is it?'

'Don't ask too many questions… I'm not ready to talk about it. I'm not going to go into detail and I don't want the team to find out for now,' Emily said firmly.

'You're worrying me,' Hotch stated. He wasn't getting a good feeling.

'Okay… there is no easy way to say this but… ' Emily started. 'One of the reasons I was so affected by the case with Lilly was because of the self harm… '

'Okay yea, what about it?' Hotch asked, although he had an idea, he didn't want to guess. He wanted her to tell him.

Emily took a deep breath. Now she was stuck, she didn't know how to say it. She'd never said the words before.

Hotch could see that Emily was struggling. So to make her feel better he said, 'it's okay, take your time.'

Thanking him, she took a deep breath and tried again. She tried to convince herself that the more she said it, the easier it will be to say it next time. 'I… hurt myself on purpose as well.' She looked down straight away. She didn't want to see the look in his eyes, whatever it was.

Hotch had guessed that's what it was. But it was still a surprise when she said it. The first thing he wondered and asked was, 'why?' The few feelings that Hotch was feeling at the moment was worry and he was angry with her for hurting herself for, reasons unknown to him. If you saw her in person, you'd never think that she would even think of hurting herself.

That only reminded him though that it was just an act, that she never really talks to anyone about what she's feeling. He thought for a second, some of the reasons for her listening to everyone's problems and giving them advice was to run away from her problems and the way she feels. But he knew also that she was caring so it was probably half of the reason.

'Different reasons,' was all Emily answered with. He didn't sound mad, he sounded worried. Like she said before she wasn't going to go into detail about it. She surprisingly felt better, when she told him. It was one more person that knew about her addiction. 'Are you mad?'

'I'm worried about you. Yes I'm angry with you for hurting yourself. I'm surprised that you would even do that,' Hotch said. He was honest with her, and that's all she wanted. 'I want to help you stop. You have to, it's dangerous Emily.'

'I know it is,' Emily agreed with a nod.

'When did you start?' Hotch asked.

Emily decided since she probably wasn't going to tell him any more than that, she said, 'when I was 15.'

'Emily… '

'I know. You don't have to say it,' Emily said.

'Does anyone else know?' Hotch asked.

'Yea, only Lilly knows,' Emily told him.

Hotch took Emily's hand and held it carefully. 'I'm glad you told me Emily!'

'Yea, that's why I took a few days off, so I could figure eveything out.'

Nodding in return he took a deep breath and made her look at him again. 'I'm sorry, for what I said on the case, I shouldn't have said it.'

'You don't have to say sorry, I should've told you when we were on the case, that's why I was being like that with Lilly and everything.'

'I understand Emily it's alright,' Hotch said.

'Also there's one more thing I need to tell you,' Emily told him.

'Okay what is it?' Hotch asked. He didn't have a clue what she was going to say this time.

'It's about Lilly… ' Emily started, she was really nervous now.

'Is everything okay with her?' Hotch asked.

'Yea she's good, I spoke to her today,' Emily said with a smile.

Hotch smiled at the smile on her face. Just as Emily was going to tell him, his phone rang. 'Sorry, I have to get it.'

'Of course. I'll wait,' Emily nodded.

Almost a minute later Hotch came of the phone and Emily knew. 'We have a case.'

'Yea sorry, but you can tell me on the way there or after this case is over,' Hotch said, he felt bad that they couldn't talk more, just as she was opening up to him.

'I'll do it when the case is over, it's important and it doesn't take 5 minutes to tell you or talk about,' Emily explained. She didn't mind not telling him yet.


	24. Chapter 23

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 23 – Taken!**_

 _Emily and the team were on another case, in Virginia. Hotch had sent her undercover._

 _She was mad at him but she understood why he did it._

 _Emily looked like all the 4 victims, she had the same eyes and hair as all of them so Hotch wanted to send her undercover so they could catch him._ _She stood in front of the long black mirror doing her hair in a messy bun, waiting for Hotch to come and give her a file that could be the UNSUB._

 _She lit a cigarette and took a drag from it and just as she sat down on the couch; the door bell rang. She sighed and got up going to see who it was after putting it out._

 _Emily opened the large white door and let Hotch in to the apartment she was staying at, for the case._

 _Giving him a smile she asked, 'have you found anything else yet?'_

 _'Not yet...' Hotch answered._

 _'Hold on,' Emily interrupted when her phone rang. 'Hello,' she answered._

 _'Hi...'_

'What's wrong?' Emily asked, immediately worried.

'Are you busy?'

'I have enough time to talk to you,' Emily reassured her. 'What's up?'

'I broke up with Ashley,' Lilly explained to her quietly.

'Oh baby I'm sorry, are you okay?' Emily asked.

Lilly smiled sadly at the concern she heard in her mums voice, Emily had been the first person she had called to tell her that she and Ashley had broken up. 'I'm okay... I think...'

Emily spoke to Lilly for a bit, just wanting to see if she was okay before they put the phone down.

'How's Lilly?' Hotch asked.

'She broke up with Ashley... I was going to tell you something about the case with Lilly before we got called out on this case... Lilly is my daughter, which everyone probably knows but I'm sorry I never told you, I was trying to get to know her more first before I said anything...' Emily explained.

Hotch nodded, 'I thought so, I'm sorry for trying to force you to tell me... How are you holding up with everything?' Hotch asked.

'I'm fine, and you don't have to apologise I get it,' Emily reassured him. She felt a thousand times better than she did before.

'You haven't had an urge to...' Hotch started, but he couldn't say it.

'No I haven't really thought about it, not with this case and everything,' Emily explained.

'Good but if you feel... just let me know okay?' Hotch said softly.

'Yeah, thanks,' Emily replied.

* * *

 _S_ _he was going to the places the victims went, to see if Emily and the team saw anyone that was creepy or out of place. Someone that paid a bit too much attention to her._

 _She had almost been doing it for a week now. She had been going to a few classes and she had seen a few guys at all of the groups._

 _After the groups had finished some of the girls had invited Emily out for coffee. She went willingly, meeting them outside, asking the girls questions, hoping to find out more useful information on the victims._

 _Jason Ribera, Michael John Carroll and Johnny "guitar" Kid, she had seen them all at the groups she went to._

 _She spent another few days going to the groups and the team kept an eye on Emily._

 _Garcia had checked on all of them and they were all clean, none of them seemed suspicious to the team so they were thinking of looking for different people that were at the groups._

 _They found one, from one of her groups on Thursday. George Lambert, he had a record for attempted robbery, domestic violence and attempted kidnap._

 _The team brought him in for an interview and Emily had been told to stay undercover in case he wasn't the killer._

 _Hotch and JJ had been interviewing him._

' _So you are a violent person, attempted kidnap, domestic violence and attempted robbery, maybe we can add murder to your list' Hotch said to George._

' _Wait what? I didn't murder anyone? Kill who?'_

' _Amy White, Bethany Hurt, Vicky Rose and Joy Keenan,'_ _JJ told him the names._

 _George frowned 'the girls in the news? I don't know who they are. I have never seen any of them and I definitely didn't kill them, I'm not a killer. I didn't even know who they were until I saw them in the news, I swear' he told them honestly._

 _JJ and Hotch interviewed the guy for a bit longer, not believing him._

 _The team got a call from Strauss and told them they could only work on the case for 2 more days and if they hadn't found anything they would have to leave it._

 _A day had passed and Emily was getting ready to go to bed, she had her wine with dinner and she had told them what she found out that day which was basically nothing and then went to bed._

 _When Emily woke up she was in a different place. It was dark. She was cold and barely had clothes on; she had a headache and couldn't see properly, everything was blurry._

 _She was tied up to a chair and couldn't move, the UNSUB had put tape over her mouth so she couldn't talk or be heard if she screamed._

 _She closed her eyes again when the light turned on suddenly, she had a headache and the light wasn't helping._

 _She wondered how she got there and who the UNSUB was._

' _Hello, nice to see you again Sarah,' Michael John Carroll said in a sickly tone._

' _Let me go…' Emily said slowly and firmly, once he had taken the tape of her mouth._

 _MJC shook his head and laughed 'why would I do that? I want to have a bit of fun first,' he said, then slapped her._

 _She hissed at the sting and asked 'how did I get here?'_

' _Your clever, figure it out yourself,' he replied._

' _Someone's going to know I'm missing and your going to be caught,' Emily told him with certainty in her voice, her chin lifted up, speaking in confidence although that was one of last things she felt right now._

 _She was nervous and scared, she knew what he had done to the other victims before her and it was terrible and horrifying._

 _Emily hoped the team had noticed something was wrong and that they would find her soon and before too much damage was done._

 _She just wanted to be at home. She tried to kick him but her leg wouldn't move because she was tied up._

 _The man just laughed and said, 'good thing I tied you up… I can tell your going to be different from the others, more fun to be with,' he finished and then hit her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her so she couldn't breathe._

 _Emily closed her eyes and groaned, leaning forward in a way to protect herself_ _from getting hurt again._

 _She couldn't defend herself even if she tried, unless she loosened the ropes on her wrists._

 _He slapped her again and shouted 'I'm talking to you Bitch.'_

 _She looked into his eyes and said 'I'm not listening.'_

 _Michael John got angry, she was the first one that wasn't afraid of him, all the other girls he chose was scared of him and he liked that._

 _Michael John said, 'I said you will be afraid of me by the time I'm finished with you.'_

' _I'll be found by the time you're finished with me' Emily said back. Earning another punch to the face, she'd definitely have more than a black eye by the time she gets out of there._

' _Shut up bitch, no one will find me and if they do you'll be dead by then' MJC said angrily. 'Don't talk back to me either'_

 _Emily laughed humorlessly, she had heard that a lot from her mother. 'No wonder your wife left you' she muttered._

' _What did you say?' MJC asked. 'How do you know about Olivia?'_

' _I don't,' Emily said, she earned his attention and that was what she wanted, so she could distract him._

' _I'm gonna ask you one more time… how do you know Olivia?' MJC asked slowly._

' _I knew Amy White and she told me about Olivia, she seemed nice,' Emily said._

' _She was a bitch too and you're even more of a bitch because you are lying, Olivia didn't know Amy,' Michael shouted at her again._

' _Oh I think she did, she just didn't tell you, I mean I can't say I blame her,' Emily mumbled. 'You're very controlling.'_

' _Shut up,' Michael said; he kicked her in the knee hard, making her groan out in pain._

 _He walked over to a table Emily hadn't noticed, she saw all the objects he had that he was planning to use and she shuddered, sending a quick prayer that her team find her soon._

 _He walked over to Emily again and slashed her thigh with a knife, not too deep._

 _Emily bit her lip to stop herself from screaming, she felt the blood run down her leg and she winced._

' _If you think this is bad now, just wait until you see what I have planned for you later,' Michael John said with an evil smirk. 'I've only just begun…' he laughed._

 _Emily winced visibly the words, 'I've only just begun,' ringing in her head._


	25. Chapter 24

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 24 – More torture!**_

 _Emily closed her eyes, tears in her eyes._

 _She couldn't show him the pain or fear she felt, she was normally good at compartmentalizing so why couldn't she do it now?_

 _She thought about Lilly and how they were still only getting to know each other, they had missed out on a lot and she thought about how much more she wanted to know about her daughter._

 _She thought about Hotch and she felt sad, she hadn't told him everything, she didn't feel ready yet. She was happy they were starting to get to a good place again though._

 _Then she thought about her mother and she sighed. She was still so hurt and angry. Emily needed to speak to her and she needed to find out why she had done what she did because she still hadn't spoken to her about it._

 _Emily promised herself if she got out of there alive she would tell Hotch the rest and the team that Lilly was her daughter and she would speak to her mother and let her explain why she did what she did, even if she didn't like what she had to say._

 _Then she would tell Hotch about her addiction, why she does self harm and she would talk to Lilly about her real father, they deserve to get to know each other as well._

 _Emily was suddenly brought back to reality when she was hit in the face again, on the lip this time._

' _Ow,' Emily said, she again tried to move her arms but remembered when she saw the ropes._

' _It will only get more painful,' MJC laughed at her._

 _Emily felt her other leg being cut and she closed her eyes in pain. She couldn't bite her lip this time because it hurt._

 _Emily in a way was surprised that it hurt, as she had hurt herself on purpose loads of times before and they didn't seem to hurt as much._

 _Michael John laughed as he watched her close her eyes in pain._

 _He felt satisfied enough though, for now after hitting her a few more times. He knew she would end up with bruises covering her face and he smiled at the thought, she deserved it. So he went over to the table and grabbed something else._

' _I'm done with you for now. Goodbye' he said and injected her._

 _Emily struggled to keep her eyes open as she felt the darkness begin to take over again._

 _The last thing Emily saw and heard was his smirking face and his evil laugh. She knew that his laugh and smile would haunt her dreams when she got out of here._

 _Michael John needed time to plan, what he was going to do next._

 _MJC didn't normally plan but "Sarah" was special, she was different from the others so he needed it to be special and important, something they would both remember for a long time._

 _Meanwhile MJC was planning, Lilly was at home in her room, she had just gotten home and she wanted to speak to Emily about her day, she had another argument with Vivian and she wanted to speak about it. She would probably end up hurting herself again and she had promised Emily that she would talk to her if she wanted to do it again._

 _She sighed and picked up her phone, she closed her eyes and waited as she heard the phone continue to ring._

 _She shook her head, she was probably busy, and Emily had told Lilly she was on another case so she probably couldn't answer._

 _Lilly had waited for 2 hours and she had been occupying herself, she decided to tidy her room even though it wasn't that messy._

 _She checked her phone._

 _Emily still hadn't called her back, she frowned it was past 12 at night now, she could be asleep Lilly thought to herself._

 _She decided to call Emily again and hoped that she would answer._

 _She was starting to get a bad feeling._

 _Lilly closed her eyes when she didn't answer. She tried again and this time it went straight to answer machine. She frowned Emily would never turn her phone off._

 _Lilly was starting to worry._

 _She tried to take her mind of this feeling and she went to bed, she was tired._

 _Emily woke up about an hour later, her body was in even more pain now. She was only left for a moment; she managed to take a deep breath before he came in._

' _Hello again…' Michael John started. 'So I've been thinking… I know what I'm going to do with you now,' he finished._

" _Great!" Emily thought to herself sarcastically._

 _Michael got angry when Emily stayed silent, wanting her to say something and Michael wasn't good at controlling his anger, so he punched Emily in the mouth again, making her bleed this time._

 _Emily felt the room spin and she was suddenly glad she was sitting down._

 _Emily then thought about her team. "How are they ever going to find me? We've already looked at him and he had no record, they'll think he's innocent..." she hoped Garcia would find something new on this guy._

' _You're a weak person…' Michael started but got interrupted by Emily._

' _You're the weak one… doing all this… to what? Prove a point to Olivia?' Emily said, making him angrier._

' _Shut up, you don't know the last thing about Olivia and what we've been through.'_

' _You've put her through hell,' Emily replied, looking at him through the eye that wasn't as bruised._

' _No I have not; you don't know what she's been through. I do. I loved her and now she's gone,' Michael shouted at Emily, then punched her in the tummy, he was starting to lose it._

' _Did you really love her? You don't do that to people you love and care about. You loved the idea of her, you never treated her well, not the way she deserved,' Emily said to him slowly and carefully._

' _Argh,' Michael screamed, then punched Emily in the face again and after that he kicked her chair, making the chair fall back, making Emily hit her head against the cold concrete floor._

 _Emily was dizzy enough and her dizziness only got worse when she hit the floor, the last thing Emily heard was him calling her a bitch again, before she went unconscious._

 _The team!_

 _The team woke up the next morning early; they were supposed to leave the case today._

 _JJ called Emily, waiting for her to pick up the phone. She frowned when she didn't answer the phone. 'She's probably just in the shower or getting dressed,' she said to herself._

 _Everyone had tried calling Emily by the time they met again._

' _Have any of you heard from Emily? Because I've tried calling her loads of times and she still hasn't answered,' JJ started. 'I'm starting to worry, Emily never…' JJ stopped, the team all thought of the only time Emily basically didn't answer her phone; when she went after Doyle._

' _Do you think she's been taken by the UNSUB?' JJ asked the question everyone was thinking._

 _Hotch tried not to worry but couldn't help it. If anything happened to Emily it would be his fault._

' _JJ you and I will head to Emily's apartment where she was staying and Rossi you and Reid go to the groups all the victims went to and see if you can find anything there. Morgan you go to the office and see if Garcia has any more news,' Hotch ordered and then everyone got to work quickly._


	26. Chapter 25

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 25 – the team find Emily!**_

When Emily woke up again her head hurt like hell. She scrunched her face in pain. She looked around the place, to see if he was there and noticed he wasn't.

'Oh thank god,' Emily whispered to herself. 'Now I just need to think of a way to get out of here.'

Emily started off with trying to loosen the ropes around her wrists, making them bleed the more she tried to loosen them.

As she was about to get out of the ropes Michael John came in again, he smirked at her.

'How's your head?' he asked sarcastically.

Emily glared at him from her chair and in return he laughed.

'Time to have some more fun yeah,' Michael snickered as he put tape over her mouth again.

Emily screamed in pain when he put the tape over her split lip, only making Michael laugh more.

* * *

The team was busy still looking for Emily. They were all worried out of their minds for Emily.

Hotch was with Garcia in her office.

'Sir, I'm going to check the ones we've already checked like Michael John, Johnny yea see if we have missed anything,' Garcia said, looking up at Hotch.

'Okay, do whatever you can, it's been 37 hours now,' Hotch said, he didn't care at the moment; he just wanted to find her. 'And we still haven't found them.' He added.

'I'll tell you as soon as I get something,' Garcia said turning back and starting her search.

Garcia started off searching with Michael, she found the same information, he was a builder, and he and his wife Olivia were getting a divorce. The wife was pretty; she had dark brown eyes and brunette hair, a bit like Emily and all the other victims. She found out he had an anger problem; he had tried to hit his wife once but missed.

She sighed and checked the next one, writing notes down as she went along.

Johnny Kidd looked fine, he had a 10 year old daughter, had a job as a computer technician, he didn't look strong enough to hurt anyone, had no record and he was a good person.

Garcia went looking for Jason Ribera and she checked into his background once again. His mum looked a bit like the victims, his dad left when he was 7 and he worked as a mechanic, he had a sealed record. Garcia unsealed the record and found that he tried to hurt someone with a deadly object.

She sighed and shook her head.

She called Hotch and the team, meeting them in the conference room.

Once they were all sitting down Morgan asked, 'what have you got baby girl?'

'I'm hoping something useful…' Penelope started and Hotch looked at her. 'Well I think either Jason Ribera, he has a record, trying to hurt someone with a deadly object, his mum looks like all the victims, he is a mechanic and Michael John Carroll he has an anger problem, he's going through a divorce and all the victims look like his wife and Emily, he's a builder and he's currently working on 2 abandoned warehouses,' Garcia told the team. 'I have sent you all the addresses to everything.'

'Okay, JJ and I will go to Michael and Morgan, Rossi and Reid go and see Jason,' Hotch ordered them.

'Oh and sir one more thing… I called both their companies where they work and it seems that Jason went in for a bit but he seemed agitated and left early and Michael John hasn't been in at all and hasn't called in.' Garcia explained.

'Okay thank you Garcia, lets go,' Hotch said as him and the team gathered their things.

'Good luck and please find her and be careful,' Garcia said as they all rushed out.

JJ and Hotch were in the car, JJ's heart was racing and there were tears in her eyes, she was so worried about her friend, like the rest of them were.

Meanwhile Hotch's heart was also beating fast; he was just blaming himself for this happening to Emily once again. He had treated her so badly on the case with Lilly, after the case and he felt bad, he even made her cry.

'It's not your fault Hotch,' JJ said, reading his mind.

'It is, I sent her undercover and now she's missing. Again,' he said; his eyes on the road the entire time.

'It's not, the only one to blame is the UNSUB who has her,' JJ told him.

'What if something bad happens to her, then it will be my fault,' Hotch said.

'If anything happens to her it will be the UNSUBS fault, not yours' JJ told him again firmly.

Hotch only nodded and stayed quite. 'On the case, with Lilly Thomson…'

'What about it?' JJ asked, although she had an idea.

'I said some things to her that I didn't really mean,' Hotch started, he didn't have a clue why he was telling JJ this.

'What did you say Hotch?' JJ asked.

'I said that it was the biological mothers fault for Lilly hurting herself… and then after the case when we met with Lilly and Jack I found out she knows who the mother is and I made her cry,' Hotch shook his head, sighing.

'When was that? On the case or after?' JJ asked.

'After, what do you mean on the case?' Hotch frowned at her. 'What aren't you telling me?'

'When Emily ran outside after you said it she…' JJ started, she had thought Emily told him.

'She what JJ?' Hotch asked through gritted teeth.

'She was crying… a lot and she started hyperventilating' JJ told him.

Hotch's eyes widened, now he felt really bad. 'Oh!' he said, he was shocked, he didn't know.

Just as Hotch was about to say something they arrived at the first warehouse, with back up and an ambulance ready.

They got into position and opened the door quietly, they didn't want to scare him and risk him hurting Emily even more if he was there with her.

They checked upstairs and then Garcia texted Hotch to look in the basement.

JJ, Hotch and the back up team went downstairs to the basement; it was quiet, dark and cold.

They saw another door, leading to somewhere else and they went towards the door when they heard something.

Hotch's heart was beating fast as the door was kicked open.

They saw Emily sitting in a chair with loads of blood, her head was back and her eyes were closed. She was shivering from the cold and the ropes were untied.

'FBI freeze!' Hotch said as he ran into the room.

Michael grabbed Emily off the chair, she opened her eyes slightly and could just about make out Hotch and JJ standing there.

Michael put the gun to Emily's head and shouted. 'I'll shoot her if you come any closer!'

'You don't want to do that,' Hotch said.

'Why? She's just a bitch anyway, you don't need her.'

'We do need her and we need you to put the gun down,' JJ said calmly.

'That's not going to happen,' MJC spat, he pressed the gun closer.

'We don't want to have to shoot you, let her go,' Hotch said, taking a step closer.

'No shut up,' he shouted.

'Hotch, just let…' Emily started but couldn't finish, she was really dizzy and couldn't see properly.

'Emily…' Hotch said before Michael John interrupted him.

'Hey…' Michael started, now he was angry.

'Put. The. Gun. Down.' Hotch said slowly and firmly. 'We know about Olivia, that she's divorcing you…'

'You don't know Olivia,' Michael said.

'Let Emily go and you can see her.'

'Hotch…' Emily said, trying to tell him something, she never got the chance to finish as she dropped to the ground, hitting her head…


	27. Getting Emily to the hospital!

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 26 – getting Emily to the hospital!**_

 ** _Thank you for your reviews._**

'Emily,' JJ and Hotch shouted at the same time, Hotch running to check on her as JJ ran to handcuff Michael John, after Hotch shot him in the shoulder.

'Lilly…' Emily started. Hotch frowned as he had to lean in close to hear what she was saying, he figured she was saying something about Lilly. 'Tell Lilly I…' she said and then closed her eyes, going unconscious.

'Emily wake up,' Hotch whispered to her. 'Need a medic down in the basement now. Agent down and UNSUB,' Hotch said. 'Emily stay with me!' Hotch said to her as he waited for the medic's to arrive.

Emily was still unconscious by the time they had got her in to the ambulance, JJ going with her, Hotch driving to the hospital, calling the team, telling them to meet at the hospital.

JJ was holding Emily's hand in the ambulance, tears going down her face.

'Come on Emily… please stay with us… we can't lose you again… we need you… you're our family… how can we be a family if you're not with us…' JJ said tears running down her face. 'At least stay with us for Lilly's sake, she needs you as well.'

The medic looked at her sympathetically and then carried on working on Emily.

'Em please wake up soon…' JJ said quietly. She cried and sighed in relief when she felt Emily squeeze her hand lightly. 'We're nearly at the hospital Em; you're going to be alright.'

A few minutes later they arrived at the hospital, taking Emily in to a separate room, telling JJ and Hotch to wait in the waiting room.

'What did Em say before she went unconscious?' JJ asked.

Hotch shrugged. 'I wish I know what she was going to say… she said, "tell Lilly I" and then she went unconscious.'

'We can never know what Emily's thinking, she has so many secrets… I want to know about Lilly though,' JJ said to no one in particular.

JJ decided to take a walk outside for a bit, needing some fresh air and she needed to call Will to let him know she would be home late.

JJ took a deep breath and was startled when a phone rang. She had been given Emily's phone.

JJ took Emily's phone out and saw who was ringing. It was Lilly. She frowned, she was quite surprised that Lilly would be calling at this time but answered it anyway.

'Emily?' Lilly said in relief when she answered the phone. 'Are you okay?'

'Lilly… hi it's JJ, um Emily's in hospital, that's why she hasn't answered her phone,' JJ explained.

'Oh… is mum okay? Why is she in the hospital? What happened?' Lilly asked, at the same time, worry in her voice evident.

'We're not sure if she's going to be okay but she got taken and she was pretty bad when we found her, we're still waiting on the doctors to tell us something,' JJ explained. Then what Lilly had said caught up to her. 'Mum?'

'Oh… could you um… maybe call me when you know something,' Lilly asked JJ; she had tears in her eyes. She hoped that Emily was okay. 'And yea Emily's my mum but don't say anything yet, she was going to tell you after the case.'

'Of course I will,' JJ said, she felt bad, she sounded so worried and upset, she didn't feel that she could say no.

'Thank you,' Lilly said gratefully.

'It's alright Lilly,' JJ smiled.

They said goodbye and JJ walked in just as the doctor did, to give the team information on Emily's state.

'Family of Emily Prentiss?' Dr Reed said.

Hotch and the rest of the team stood up, waiting for the doctor to start.

'Okay, well Agent Prentiss has a few cracked ribs, she was beaten badly. She's in a coma at the moment, she has a bad concussion, it seems like she hit her head quite bad when she fell.' Dr Reed started and then explained what was going on with Emily.

'Do you have any questions?' Dr Reed asked.

'Can we go and see her?' JJ asked.

'Yes but only 1 person at a time, she's in room 254.'

'Okay thank you,' Hotch replied.

Dr Reed nodded and JJ left to go outside calling Lilly like she said she would.

'What did the doctor say?' Lilly asked desperately and JJ sighed.

'She's in a coma… and she has a bad concussion and a few broken ribs, she was beaten really badly,' JJ told her, she didn't want to go into too much detail because she didn't know Lilly but she could tell that her and Emily had definitely gotten much closer.

'Oh my god…' Lilly said; she was shocked and more than worried.

'She hasn't responded or anything yet but we're hoping that she will and we think that she will be fine,' JJ explained.

'When she wakes up do you mind… just tell her that I'm happy she woke up,' Lilly said with a shaky voice, it was obvious she was crying, she was very relieved. She was worrying waiting for news on her mum.

JJ smiled 'of course I will…' she frowned. 'Would you like to come and see Emily at the hospital. I'm sure she would love to see you,' JJ told her that was true, Emily would be so happy to see Lilly at the hospital when she woke up.

Lilly smiled at the suggestion. 'I would love to but I wouldn't want to intrude or anything…'

'No you wouldn't be, really. You're her daughter, you have every right to be there Lilly.'

'Are you sure?' Lilly asked.

'Of course I'm sure' JJ said.

'Okay,' Lilly answered back, she felt kind of awkward.

JJ could tell and decided to tell her which hospital it was from and that she could get picked up by someone at the airport to take her here.

JJ put the phone down after Lilly thanked her again for her help with everything.

With the flights and hotels booked she was ready to go all she needed to do was pack a few more things and she was done.

Lilly walked downstairs and found her mum and dad in the kitchen.

'Hey… I need to tell you something…'

'What is it Lilly?' John asked concerned.

'Emily is in hospital… and I'm going to see her.'

'When are you going to do that?' Vivian asked.

'Now, I have everything booked and everything I need and someone is going to pick me up and take me to the hospital,' Lilly explained.

'Lilly…' Vivian started.

'I have to go... and you can't stop me,' Lilly answered back, knowing her mum didn't want her to go and see Emily.

'She gave you up Lilly why do you want to see her, she'll be fine.' Vivian told her.

'You don't know what happened to her, she is not fine and she's my biological mom she didn't… you don't know what happened,' Lilly said, she was really angry with her now.

'Okay both of you stop, yes Lilly she is your biological mother but she hasn't raised you and Vivian you don't know if she's going to be okay or what happened and why she's in the hospital,' John said to them both.

Lilly and Vivian argued until Lilly got a text saying she was being picked up in 5 minutes.

'I have to get my bags. I'm going and that's it,' she told her, annoyed with Vivian.

John looked at Viv and said, 'calm down okay… just let her, she's worried about Emily.'

Lilly got her bags and said goodbye to her parents before leaving, on her way to see Emily.


	28. Theories

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 27 – Theories and questions about Lilly!**_

JJ came back and was in the waiting room with Hotch, Morgan and Reid, Rossi being in the room with Emily.

JJ saw Hotch's questioning look asking why she keeps going outside.

'On the phone with Lilly,' JJ told him.

Hotch frowned. 'Why? What did she want?'

JJ sighed and shook her head. 'You should've heard her when I answered the phone, she seemed so relieved that Em answered her call and then she sounded so worried and upset when I told her she was in the hospital,' JJ told him. 'They seem to have gotten so close so I um…'

'You did what?' Hotch asked.

'I asked if she would like to come and visit Emily so she's on her way now. Emily would love to see Lilly here when she wakes up and Emily will ask about Lilly so I thought it would be easier for her to come and see her,' JJ explained.

Hotch swallowed and nodded his head. 'Oh okay, that's true,' he said. 'The last thing Emily said was something about Lilly so she must be important and they have been getting closer… that case changed her.' Hotch said and then remembered that Emily was going to tell him something about Lilly but she never got the chance to tell him.

'Yeah and she has a right to be here, we can't stop her from coming,' JJ said quietly. She didn't know that Hotch knew Lilly was Emily's daughter.

Rossi came back a few minutes later and asked, 'what happened when I was gone?'

'Lilly's coming to visit, she's on her way now,' JJ explained to Rossi.

'Lilly is coming to see Emily? I didn't even know you spoke to her,' Morgan asked, having heard what JJ said.

'Yea,' she answered.

'Why?' he asked.

'Because Emily will want to see her when she wakes up, they seem to be getting closer,' JJ explained again. 'And she sounded so worried and upset when I told her Emily was in the hospital.'

'I didn't really know they were still in contact, I mean I know she stayed with Emily after the case… I thought that was a bit weird, I mean she was a victim' Morgan said.

'I told her that several times,' Hotch said.

'Don't you think this whole situation with Lilly is a bit weird though?' Rossi joined in.

'Yea she said that Emily's mother knew Lilly's mother but they had never met and apparently Lilly didn't know who Emily's mother was until she was in the hospital,' Hotch told everyone.

'How do you know that?' Morgan asked, surprised.

'She told me and so did Lilly,' Hotch answered his question.

'Okay let's just leave them both alone, if Emily wants to tell us what's going on with Lilly then she will,' JJ said, she would rather them get a proper answer than have everyone speculate.

'Yea I guess your right,' Morgan said and everyone agreeing.

The team carried on talking about Emily and all the things they'd done together.

7½ hours later!

Lilly arrived at the hospital. She walked in and said Emily's name and they told her to wait in the waiting room. She nodded and someone took her down towards the waiting room where she saw the team waiting and talking quietly.

JJ and Hotch were the first ones who spotted her. 'Hey, you made it, come and sit over here,' JJ welcomed her.

'Hi,' she said to everyone, who was looking at her, she suddenly felt self-conscious.

'Hey Lilly how are you?' Hotch asked, being nice to her.

'I'm worried about Emily other than that I'm good how are you all doing?' Lilly replied sitting down opposite the team.

'We're also worried about Emily but she'll be okay soon, she's strong,' Hotch answered.

Lilly smiled. 'Yea she is,' Lilly agreed. 'Has there been any more news?' Lilly asked.

Everyone could tell how worried Lilly was about Emily and understood what JJ was saying when she said she was worried.

'No not really, we're all just waiting for her to wake up,' JJ said.

Reid came back a few minutes later, surprised to see Lilly there.

'Hello Lilly, how are you?' Reid asked.

'Hi, worried about Emily,' Lilly answered again.

'Yea we all are,' Reid said.

'I didn't know you and Emily had gotten so close,' Morgan commented.

'Yea, we talk on the phone most days and she was there in the hospital with me after I was found so I wanted to come and see how she was doing, be there for her too,' Lilly said.

Sensing that Lilly was starting to feel uncomfortable with the situation and awkward JJ suggested. 'Lilly why don't you go and see Emily for a bit.'

Lilly smiled and nodded her head. 'Okay, what room is it?'

'I'll take you,' JJ said, she wanted to speak to her.

JJ and Lilly got up, walking towards Emily's room.

Lilly was just about to say thank you to JJ when she spoke.

'So you and Emily are mother and daughter?' JJ said, she was in shock still.

'Yea we are…' Lilly said and bit her lip, picking at her nails.

'It's okay Lilly you don't have to feel uncomfortable or anything around us, we're all like family around here,' JJ said, sensing that Lilly was feeling uncomfortable.

'I know sorry, I'm glad that Emily has a good family,' Lilly said, she was starting to feel more comfortable.

'You two seem to be getting closer' JJ said.

'Yea I guess' Lilly laughed and nodded her head agreeing, they still needed to know so much about each other and they wouldn't get the chance to do that if something happened.

'You're really important to Emily, whenever she mentions you she seems really happy and now I know why,' JJ said.

Lilly smiled. 'She's important to me too,' she was glad to hear that.

'Oh the room's here,' JJ said, almost walking past it.

Lilly turned around and gasped when she saw Emily, lying in the bed, her face was beaten really badly, and she had never seen Emily look so fragile before. She got tears in her eyes and turned to JJ when she put her hand on her shoulder.

'It's okay, take your time, she can hear you when you talk to her,' JJ encouraged her.

Lilly nodded her head, still in shock. She walked towards the door and stepped in quietly, JJ waiting by the door for a minute before going back to the team.

'How is she?' Morgan asked.

'She was shocked when she saw Emily but I think she'll be fine, she's upset now,' JJ told them.

'Yea that's understandable,' Rossi said. 'Did you find out anything else about her?'

'Not really just that they seem really close and they talk on the phone almost everyday trying to get to know each other and I told her that she was really important to Emily,' JJ answered.

Meanwhile Lilly was in the room with Emily, sitting by the bed. 'Emily… it's me, Lilly' she started quietly. She didn't know what to say.

'I called you a couple of times over the last few days and when you didn't answer the second day I got worried and I was right… please wake up soon, so we know your okay,' Lilly said to her, a few tears going down her face.


	29. Chapter 28

**Where's my baby?**

 _ **Chapter 28 – Lilly and Hotch talk to Emily!**_

Lilly sat there with Emily, she was still thinking of what to say.

'Emily… I know you'll make it through… you have to… you're one of the… strongest people I know… and that sounds kind of crazy… since we haven't known each other for that long… but you obviously are a strong person with the job you do… you are so brave. Braver than I could ever be,' Lilly said, and held Emily's hand carefully.

'The family you have, I can tell they're really good people and we all love you.' Lilly whispered.

Emily heard every word Lilly was saying and she felt like crying. She so badly wanted to wake up and tell her that she would be okay and that its okay not to be strong sometimes.

Emily wanted to wake up so she could talk to Lilly again and see her face and she wanted to talk to Hotch, tell him it wasn't his fault that she was in hospital. She needed to tell him everything.

'The day I called you and you didn't answer... I had an argument with mum again… it was bad… anyway; I called so I could talk to you about it… I know I tried so hard not to hurt myself again… but I did' Lilly said, now she was crying.

Emily felt bad for Lilly, she wanted to comfort her but she couldn't, she tried to move and got annoyed when that didn't work out for her, she tried harder but what ever she tried wouldn't work so in the end she gave up. She hoped that she would wake up soon as well, this was horrible.

She felt so helpless, she didn't want Lilly to cry, she wanted to be there for her and tell her it would be alright. She was trying to be good at this comforting thing and the mum thing but she didn't know if it was working out, she hoped that she was doing well, she wanted to be the best mum that she could be for Lilly and she didn't want to disappoint her.

'I've been speaking to your team and I heard them telling stories, the good times you've had and all the cases when you saved your team or the victims, I loved all the stories,' Lilly told Emily, smiling.

'Oh god, what stories did they tell?' Emily asked herself. 'I hope they weren't embarrassing stories,' she said, but no sound came out.

As if she read her mind she said, 'don't worry, they weren't embarrassing,' Lilly laughed.

Emily tried to smile; she loved the sound of Lilly's laugh, similar to hers, it was actually really comforting to hear at the moment.

Lilly sat there, talking to Emily for a while, saying whatever came to her head.

'It's kind of weird… I'm trying to have a conversation with you but you can't answer… I don't like it like that… I want to here your voice again,' Lilly said, tears in her eyes by the end of her words.

Emily listened to every single one of Lilly's words, remembering all the little details that were extremely important to her, she could listen to Lilly tell her things and stories all day and she wouldn't mind because at the same time she was getting to know her more. She thought that she could start telling Lilly more about herself as well, it was supposed to be a two way thing but she had only been asking Lilly questions and not telling Lilly about herself.

'Um…' Lilly started, checking the time on her watch she saw that she'd nearly been in there for an hour. 'I'm going to go now… I know Hotch hasn't spoken to you yet and I'm sure he wants to… but I'll be back as soon as I can… I don't want to go,' Lilly shook her head.

'Bye… I love you mom,' Lilly said and took her hand again, squeezing it lightly before kissing her head. She got up and leaving the room quietly.

When Lilly came back and sat down she took a shaky deep breath.

'Hey, how'd it go?' JJ asked.

Lilly sighed in return. 'It was difficult, I've never had a conversation with Emily where she hasn't said a single word, it was weird…' she sighed again and looked down 'I just want to hear Emily's voice again you know… so I know she's okay.'

JJ and the team nodded in agreement and Hotch got up, going to see Emily.

Hotch stepped in Emily's room quietly, taking a seat next to the bed and taking her hand. She looked so fragile. Just lying there motionless, not moving.

Hotch wasn't used to seeing Emily like that, she was a strong, smart and beautiful woman who listened to everyone's problems and he admired that and now she was bruised and broken, lying in a coma.

Hotch cleared his throat. He didn't know where to start. 'Emily… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have sent you undercover… you really scared us and definitely Lilly… I'm sure you've heard this from the rest of the team but you and Lilly seem really close and she really cares about you its obvious, like we do…'

'Also, I'm sorry for… what I said on the case about Lilly hurting herself because of her birth mum… JJ told me you were crying… and for that I'm sorry… I never meant to make you cry and it's definitely not true,' Hotch apologized.

Emily wanted to cry. If she was awake she wouldn't have known what to say, so she was thankful she couldn't talk.

She continued to listen to his words and she felt happy and a bit uncomfortable. She knew that her team cared about her, just like she had cared about them, but she didn't know how much Hotch cared so she was surprised.

And just as she had told Lilly before, she still wasn't really used to people caring, it was a bit strange but she could and was trying to get used to it.

'Lilly seems really nice and I'm sorry if I pushed too far before… I didn't mean to, I was just worried about you… you've changed since that case and I understand, but you changed in a good way, you're such a good mum.'

'Please wake up soon… let us know you're okay,' Hotch said, he didn't want to say too much because then he wouldn't seem like him but he couldn't help it.

Hotch stayed a few more minutes just talking to her, he was starting to like it, just talking to her about anything and not having to worry about what anyone else heard or saw.

'Anyway… I better go; I know the team wants to talk to you again before we're not allowed until tomorrow so I'll see you later… I would say it was nice talking to you but, it was a one sided conversation and it felt like I was talking to myself but anyway… I'll go now,' Hotch said and let go of her hand, standing up.

He walked in to see the rest of the team apart from JJ and Lilly.

'Where did JJ and Lilly go?' Hotch frowned.

'Out for a walk,' Morgan answered.

'I need to talk to Lilly…' Hotch said, more too himself and then walked out before anyone could say anything.

Hotch found Lilly and JJ outside, talking and laughing.

'Hi,' Lilly smiled, when she saw Hotch appear. JJ turned around, wondering who she was saying hi to.

Emily's phone began to ring again as Hotch said he needed to talk. JJ passed the phone to Lilly telling her to tell them Emily was in hospital.


	30. Emily wakes up!

_**Where's my baby?**_

 _ **Chapter 29 – Emily wakes up**_

Lilly answered the phone and didn't have time to speak.

'Hey babe, I was worried about you. You said you'd call but you never did, what happened?' John said as soon as Lilly answered his call.

Lilly bit her lip, just like Emily. Hotch and JJ saw this and looked at each other but then shrugged. 'Um hi… this is Lilly… Emily is in hospital, so she… that's why she hasn't answered her phone… but I can tell her that you called when she wakes up…'

'Lilly… wakes up? Is she in a coma or something?' John asked he was trying not to get emotional; he was speaking to his daughter, for the first time.

'Yeah she is… but I can call you back when she wakes up?' Lilly asked awkwardly; she wasn't really sure what to say.

'Of course that's absolutely fine Lilly, thank you,' John replied, he felt like crying. He was worried about Emily and over the moon happy that he finally got to speak to his daughter.

'It's alright… um what is your name?' Lilly asked, smiling slightly.

'J-John sorry, my name is John, nice to speak to you Lilly, Emily's mentioned you,' John told her.

'Really? That's cool…' Lilly said a bit awkwardly and laughed.

'Yea, she has… sorry I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything,'

'Oh… no it's okay, you didn't make me…' Lilly said shaking her head. 'Well it was nice talking to you… but I need to go… but I'll tell m… Emily you called,' Lilly said.

'Of course Lilly… quick question,' John asked, guessing she was about to call Emily mom.

'Yea what is it?' Lilly answered.

'Um I know you speak to your mum a lot, but has she mentioned how things are with Hotch now? She hasn't said anything to me… I just want to know if she's okay now, apart from the hospital,' John asked, he wanted to know.

Lilly looked at Hotch when John mentioned him. 'Um… yea I think things are a bit better, she hasn't spoken much about him but when she does; she seems a little less tense,' Lilly answered.

'Okay thank you Lilly… anyway I'll let you go now,' John said, a smile on his face.

'Okay bye John,' she said.

'Bye Lilly,' John answered and then put the phone down.

Lilly frowned at the phone and then shook her head 'that was odd' she thought to herself.

'Lilly could I speak to you for a moment?' Hotch asked.

'Sure,' Lilly smiled awkwardly.

JJ left the two alone for a moment, going back in to see Emily.

'Um what did you want to talk to me about?' she asked slowly and swallowed, she was nervous.

'Before I start… I want to say I'm sorry… for a couple of months ago when I was asking all those questions and with the case…' Hotch apologized.

'It's okay… you don't have to apologize to me' Lilly said, more of a question than a statement. 'You should apologize to my mom instead' Lilly thought to herself.

'I do and I'm sorry…' Hotch commented.

'It's okay,' Lilly said.

'How old was Emily when she had you?' Hotch asked. At Lilly's surprised look, he told her. 'Emily told me that, your her daughter.'

'Emily would've been 16 when she gave birth to me…' Lilly answered instead, she was really uncomfortable now but she was happy that her mum had finally told someone.

'Sorry to interrupt but we have to say goodnight to Emily now,' JJ came out and told them.

Lilly sighed a sigh of relief that JJ came when she did.

Lilly nodded and walked away as fast as possible.

Hotch went in first, saying goodnight to her.

Lilly went in next and sat down on the chair quickly and sighed. 'Um Emily… I have to go back to the hotel now, so I can't come back until tomorrow… but I don't want to go… what if you wake up and no one is here?' Lilly expressed her concerns.

'3 things… a guy called John called he said that you were supposed to call him… 2nd Hotch just told me outside that you told him… anyway last…' Lilly started and took a deep breath.

'3rd, I don't think I would be able to sleep. I'm worried you'll never wake up… so please can you try and wake up soon.' Lilly cried.

Lilly looked up when the doctor came in, the doctor looked at her sympathetically and said, 'I'm sorry miss but it's time to go.'

Lilly nodded and wiped her tears standing up. 'Bye, I'll come and visit tomorrow and I promise I will try to sleep.'

Walking out of the room with the nurse she asked, 'I know this might be a weird question…' Lilly started.

'There's no such thing as a weird question,' the nurse replied. 'What is your question?'

'Am I allowed to stay here with her tonight?' Lilly asked.

The nurse replied. 'We don't really allow anyone to stay overnight with patients that are in a coma, we're not really allowed to have family in there…'

'I am family, she's my mum,' Lilly told her.

The nurse saw something in Lilly's eyes and she nodded, changing her mind. 'Okay, I can only let you stay tonight and then when she wakes up and she is moved out of the ICU, you might be able to stay with her then too,'

Lilly let out a sigh of relief and said, 'thank you so much, you don't know how much this means to me.'

The next day the team came back, early in the morning, as soon as they could and were surprised to see Lilly sitting there already.

Lilly sat there, looking down, she looked so upset, tired and lost and once again the team was reminded that Emily and Lilly were now very close and extremely important to each other.

'Oh hi Lilly… have you stayed here all night?' Reid asked.

Lilly smiled slightly and shook her head. 'Yea the doctor said I could,' she laughed humorlessly at the end.

The team nodded in surprise and sat down with her.

'Please wake up soon,' Lilly mumbled to herself looking down.

A few hours later!

Lilly was next to go in and see Emily.

She sat down and took Emily's hand just as she had done yesterday.

'Hey, I'm back… I tried to sleep… but I couldn't…' Lilly said quietly.

After a few moments of silence she said, 'I remember this time when I was little…' Lilly laughed at the memory. 'And I went ice skating with my dad, yea it was fun… apart from when I fell on my bum because it was too slippery and I went a bit too fast… but anyway as I was saying,' Lilly said, carrying on with her story.

Lilly checked the time and she sighed. 'Oh I forgot, the team were getting lunch I had to be back like 15 minutes ago but I'm not hungry… I better go but I'll be back as soon as possible okay.'

Lilly got up and walked to the door, turning round again, hoping she would wake up.

She moved to open the door when she heard a noise.

'Li…Lilly!' Emily said with a raspy voice and then coughed.

Lilly turned around with a big smile and a few tears going down her face in happiness.

'Mum… you're awake… oh my god… are you okay? Do you need anything?' Lilly asked running back to the bed.

'Th-thank-you…' Emily whispered quietly.

Lilly went to get Emily some water and asked. 'thank you? Thank you for what?'

'For… for being… here,' Emily said when she had some of her water.

'I wouldn't be anywhere else… I'm just happy you're awake… I'll go get the doctor, stop talking,' Lilly told her and put the water down.

Emily nodded her head and closed her eyes.

Half a minute later a few doctors came in with Lilly.

'Okay, Agent Prentiss, we're going to ask you a few questions…' the doctor started and another one sent Lilly out of the room.

Lilly went back to the others a smile on her face. When the others looked at her she said, 'Emily's awake…'


	31. Chapter 31

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 30 – Apologies!**

The next day!

Emily was moved out of the ICU and into a different room with more space.

'Okay, you can go and see her but if she gets too overwhelmed I'll make it so there is only allowed 3 people in the room,' the doctor told the team.

'Absolutely, can we go and see her now?' Hotch answered.

'Of course,' Dr Reed nodded and led them all to her room, seeing they were impatient.

Emily was there, pale in bed and she opened her eyes when the door opened, happy to see her team; she smiled saying hello to all of them.

'Hey how are you feeling?' Morgan asked, concerned.

'I've had better days but I'm feeling okay otherwise,' Emily smiled slightly, answering honestly.

'You scared the life out of us…' JJ said, tears in her eyes.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to,' Emily said, feeling bad. 'I had a good rest though.'

Lilly smiled and shook her head, going to give her mum a hug carefully.

'Prentiss I need to speak to you alone for a moment please,' Hotch said.

Emily nodded and the others walked out of the room, leaving Emily and Hotch alone together.

Hotch sat down next to the bed and cleared his throat. 'Emily…' he started and Emily took his hand in hers. 'I'm sorry,' he said.

Emily shook her head and said, 'its okay, it's not your fault what happened…'

'I sent you undercover…' Hotch said.

'I know and I agreed to go… we both know that it was dangerous so it's not your fault. This whole job and everything we do is dangerous,' Emily told him, trying to convince him it wasn't his fault. 'I definitely don't blame you for what happened to me Hotch, so don't blame yourself,' she said, and looked at him through the eye that wasn't as bruised.

Hotch nodded and said, 'okay… and JJ told me before we found you… that what I said on the case made you cry so I'm really sorry for that, I didn't mean it,' he added quietly, sounding guilty.

Emily shook her head and sighed again, squeezing his hand lightly. 'Hotch's its okay… I was just emotional on that case… you don't have to say sorry'

'Emily I made you cry 2 times!' Hotch said, 'so yea I do have to say sorry…' he nodded his head.

'It's okay… I don't want to think about it anymore okay… lets just talk about something else or bring the team back in,' Emily suggested. 'I just want to forget about it.'

Hotch sighed and nodded his head. 'Okay but I'm still sorry.'

'I know and I said it was okay,' Emily smiled.

Hotch called the team back in and Lilly got Emily some water, passing it to her.

Emily looked at Lilly and nodded her thanks, Lilly smiled in return. 'Are you okay Lilly?'

Lilly got tears in her eyes and she nodded her head 'are you okay? You're the one in hospital not me.'

Deflection!

Emily smiled slightly at Lilly. 'I'm good but I asked how you are,' she said softly.

'I'm okay,' Lilly nodded. 'I'm just glad that you're alright.'

'Are you sure?' Emily asked, worry evident in her voice. Lilly nodded in return.

Emily didn't know if she believed her but she wouldn't push it yet.

'So… I know you and Lilly are still talking everyday, how's that going?' JJ said, trying to think of something to break the awkward silence.

Emily smiled brightly for a second before her face started to hurt. 'Yea we are,' Emily answered and Lilly smiled.

'Wait… your mum and dad do know you're here right?' Emily had a moment of panic and Lilly smiled in return and nodded her head yes. 'Okay good,' Emily let out a sigh of relief.

She tried to sit up in the bed but couldn't so Hotch decided to help her sit up. Emily smiled in return slightly before her mouth hurt again and said thanks.

A little while later Emily was half way to falling asleep again because of the drugs she was on and the team and Lilly left her, the team decided to go home and get changed but Lilly stayed wanting to be there when she woke up.

And she was. Emily woke up a little after an hour, waking up from another nightmare.

'Are you okay?' Lilly asked; she was worried about her.

'Of course… you don't have to worry about me,' Emily said quietly.

'I can't really help that,' Lilly said quietly, biting her lip.

Emily smiled slightly. 'It's okay,' she said and tried to reach out for her hand, Lilly taking it carefully. 'Let's talk about something else, take my mind of the pain.'

'Do you want medication or anything?' Lilly asked straight away.

'I'll be asleep if I take it, I'd rather talk to you,' Emily said truthfully.

'But you need sleep and if your in pain then you have to take it, to get better quicker… because you said you don't like hospitals,' Lilly said, thinking of the only way to get her take some painkillers. 'I do want to talk to you as well though,' she added. 'We can talk any time yea.'

'That's unfortunately true… okay I'll take it,' Emily said, giving in and then she tried to smile when she saw Lilly grin and get the painkillers.

Once Emily was done with that she asked. 'so are you really okay?'

'I don't know… I'm worried about you, I'm happy that you're alive and I had another argument before I left…' Lilly frowned. 'So I'm alright.'

'With your mom?' Emily asked and Lilly nodded.

'Are you both okay now?' Emily asked.

'I haven't spoken to her,' seeing Emily's questioning and shocked look she continued. 'I've been here.'

Emily nodded; she wasn't going to talk if she didn't have to, and then said, 'do you want to talk about it?'

Lilly shook her head and looked down. 'No not at the moment.'

'Okay, just talk to me when you're ready,' Emily said to her. Seeing her nod she smiled, she was starting to feel tired so she closed her eyes.

She opened them again when Lilly said she would leave so she could sleep.

'You don't have to go… I'm not… asleep yet,' Emily said, feeling drowsy.

Lilly smiled and rolled her eyes. 'Sleep,' was all she said and that's exactly what Em did. So Lilly watched her sleep for a bit longer before going out of the room just in time to see the team arrive again.

'Hey, is she alright?' JJ asked, handing Lilly hot chocolate.

Lilly smiled gratefully and answered, 'thanks… she was in pain so I made her take a painkiller even though she didn't want it…'

'That sounds like Emily…' JJ laughed.

'Yea, so now she's asleep… I said she had to take it to get better because I know she doesn't want to stay in the hospital that long,' Lilly told them.

The team laughed and Morgan said, 'that's good; at least she listened to you.'

'Yeah,' Lilly smiled in return. She got an idea and asked to speak to Hotch and JJ alone.

Going outside, JJ asked, 'what did you want to talk to us about?'

Lilly cleared her throat and answered. 'So I was thinking, maybe when mum comes out of hospital, we could all surprise her when she gets back, because she'll be happy to see us. At least then she knows that we care about her and happy that she's home. She knows that we care about her but she said that she's not really used to it. I don't know I just want mum to know that we love her, even though she knows...' Lilly suggested.

'I think that is an amazing idea, and Emily would really love that,' JJ said in reply and Hotch smiled, agreeing with her.

'Okay great.'


	32. Chapter 32

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 31 – questions and answers!**

4 days later!

Emily sighed, she was still in the hospital and all she wanted to do was go home.

SHE HATED HOSPITALS!

She was bored and lonely at the moment and she wanted someone with her.

Her face wasn't as swollen, she just had a purple eye, her lips still hurt slightly but it was getting better day by day, just like the rest of her body.

She grinned widely when she saw Hotch and Lilly enter her room with coffee.

'Yay finally some company I…' she said and then started coughing.

Lilly chuckled and shook her head walking towards the bed and sitting down in the chair, Hotch doing the same and then he passed her the coffee when she had stopped her coughing fit.

'Thanks,' Emily said. Grateful for her coffee. 'I was going out of my mind in boredom… I NEED to get out of here... URGENTLY,' Emily expressed her frustration with staying in the hospital.

Emily gasped. 'Do you have any case files for me to do when I'm alone?' she asked hopefully.

Hotch chuckled and shook his head, 'no, you need to relax.'

'But I can't relax any more than I already have… please,' she turned to Lilly.

'Please what? I can't do anything,' Lilly laughed at Emily's disappointed face.

She sighed in defeat and then she gave Hotch her best puppy dog eyes. 'please? Just a few.'

Lilly laughed again and Hotch smiled looking at Emily. How could he resist that now? Hotch sighed, 'alright I will you get a few okay but no more than that.'

'Yay, thank you,' Emily said happily a big smile on her face. 'So Lilly are you okay?' Emily asked, turning her attention to Lilly.

'Yeah I'm alright, are you okay?' Lilly responded.

'Good, I'm okay actually all things considering,' Emily frowned.

'Good, I'm glad to hear your better.'

'God I can't wait to get out of here,' Emily replied.

Hotch and Lilly smiled at Emily, knowing she was getting a little restless.

Emily suggested asking a few questions because she wanted to do something and not just sit in silence.

'Hotch what do you think is one of the best things you have had in your life?' Emily asked Hotch, the first question that came to her mind.

Hotch smiled and answered easily. 'Jack… when Jack was born, that was the best day of my life, one of my greatest joys.'

'That's sweet,' Emily smiled and then thought back to her birth, she got tears in her eyes. She remembers being so happy that she had a little girl. Her train of thought was broken when Hotch said something.

'Emily?' Hotch asked, he wondered if he had said something to hurt her feelings again, he really hoped not.

'Hmm,' Emily answered.

'Are you okay?' he asked, concerned.

Emily nodded her head and said, 'yeah I'm okay,' she took a deep breath to keep her emotions in check and then looked at Lilly. 'Do you have a boyfriend?' Emily asked; she was starting to run out of questions to ask. Then she remembered that Lilly had called her saying that she broke up with her boyfriend.

Lilly blushed and said, 'we're kind of on and off… his name is Ashley but we're off at the moment.'

Emily smiled 'does he treat you well?' she asked concerned.

Lilly smiled at the concern she heard in her voice and nodded her head, 'yeah he does.'

'I need to get back to the office but we'll all come back later,' Hotch said, standing up.

'Okay that's alright,' Emily said and gave him a fake smile. 'I'll see you later then… oh and my case files' she said and waved him goodbye.

Emily let out a sigh of relief when Hotch left the room.

'Are you okay?' Lilly asked after Hotch had left, she was worried now. Emily had completely changed after Hotch answered that question.

Emily looked at Lilly and said, 'yeah I'm fine… I don't know why I asked, it was a stupid question.'

'It wasn't a stupid question.' Lilly told Emily softly.

'I should've known…' Emily commented, looking down.

'You didn't and that's okay,' Lilly said, moving closer to the bed, taking her hand.

'Do you want to do something else instead,' Emily said but then changed her mind. 'Actually no… you ask me a few questions, I feel like you haven't asked me any.'

Lilly laughed and nodded her head, she sat there thinking of a question she could ask and she couldn't think of any. 'Um… okay, what is the best thing you have ever gotten in your life?' Lilly asked, similar to Emily's question but she really couldn't think of any questions to ask.

Emily smiled at the question and answered truthfully. 'You… The best thing is you… Being pregnant with you and giving birth to you, the worst thing was… losing you and then I found you again… Yeah it's definitely you.'

Lilly was shocked and now really emotional. She had tears in her eyes and she didn't know what to say. 'Wow… sorry I don't know what to say… kind of emotional now,' Lilly laughed.

'Sorry I didn't mean to make you…' Emily started.

She smiled. 'It's okay… I'm really the best thing that's happened to you?' Lilly asked again and Emily nodded.

'Of course you are; Hotch is right; having a child is one of the greatest joys of life,' Emily said quietly.

Lilly smiled and nodded, she was tired now, and Lilly yawned. 'Sleep for a bit, I can tell you're tired,' Emily said.

'What are you going to do though?' Lilly asked quietly.

'I don't have to do anything if you're here,' Emily told her softly and patted a spot on the bed where Lilly could rest her head.

Lilly rested her head on the spot that Emily had pointed to and closed her eyes. 'I'll stay awake if you want,' she said tiredly.

'It's okay,' Emily said quietly, Lilly falling asleep already. 'I'll still be here when you wake up, I can't move anyway.'

Lilly smiled and nodded, 'I know,' she said softly.

'I love you,' Emily whispered.

'I love you to,' Lilly replied and Emily carried on stroking Lilly's hair lovingly until she fell asleep.

Hotch and JJ arrived almost an hour later and saw Emily on the bed stroking Lilly's hair whilst she was sleeping calmly next to her.

JJ looked in through the window as well as Hotch and smiled. 'That's such a sweet image, Lilly looks so calm and relaxed now and Emily, she looks comfortable and relaxed too and it looks like she's falling asleep,' she said, the image was too cute and she took a picture, she would show it to Emily later. 'Emily is such a sweet mum to her…' JJ got a weird look from Hotch and she added, 'no I mean she's acting like Lilly's her daughter, I mean we know she is but… I mean look at them, that's what a mother would do with their child to help them sleep'

JJ moved away from the window to sit down, Hotch following after. 'Let Emily sleep for a bit, we can ask her when they wake up,' JJ said.

Emily was still stroking her hair and was getting tired now; she fell asleep a few minutes later with her daughter. As long as Lilly was there she would have a nightmare free sleep and that she could definitely have and was fine with.


	33. Who's my Dad?

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 32 – false apologies and shocking revelations!**

Lilly woke up first, she was very comfortable, she hadn't slept well in a couple of days and this was the first time she had.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, sighing happily, she felt well rested. She looked at Emily who was still asleep and smiled; she wasn't having another nightmare yet.

She got up and walked out of the room quietly, not wanting to wake her mum up. She wanted another hot chocolate, to wake herself up.

Lilly saw the team on her way to get her drink and said hello to them all.

'Hey, is Emily awake yet?' Morgan asked.

Lilly shook her head. 'No she was still asleep when I woke up.'

'Okay,' Hotch said.

Lilly started feeling awkward and said, 'I'm gonna go and…' she was struggling to find words but the team nodded in understanding and said goodbye to her, leaving her to go and see Emily.

Lilly received a text from her dad, asking if she was okay and she replied. Then she remembered that a guy called John had called the other day, asking for Emily.

She quickly got her hot chocolate and went back to Emily's room and saw that she was awake, the team being in there with her, she knocked on the door and walked in, asking how she was feeling.

Emily replied, saying she was feeling better and asked how she was.

Emily spoke to all of them, everyone in a conversation. Lilly was looking at Emily, listening to what she was saying but could see Hotch staring at her in the corner of her eyes, she looked at Hotch who then looked at Emily.

Emily saw this and frowned, she shook her head, and she decided that she would talk to both of them later.

After a while, Emily was starting to feel tired again and she sent the team out apart from Hotch and Lilly, telling them she needed to speak to them both.

'What's going on with the two of you?' Emily asked, looking at both of them.

'Nothing' Lilly answered immediately, looking down.

Emily looked at Hotch and he shrugged, not saying anything.

'I'll give you two a minute, I need to go and get a drink…' Lilly said, clearing her throat and standing up, getting out of the room.

'Hotch what did you say?' asked Emily, in a serious tone.

'The day before you woke up I asked…' Hotch started but then stopped, she wouldn't react well.

'What did you ask?' Emily demanded. 'Did it make Lilly uncomfortable?'

'I asked if you were hurting yourself again,' Hotch told her quietly.

'You asked her what?' Emily asked rhetorically, shocked.

'I…'

'Don't repeat it, I heard you the first time,' Emily explained, pissed off.

Lilly knocked on the door and Emily told her to come in.

She took a seat again.

'I'm sorry Emily…' Hotch said.

'You've said that a lot and you know what I don't believe you anymore, you keep saying you won't interfere again and ask questions, then you go and do exactly that so please don't tell me you're sorry if your not…' Emily said quietly, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Please can you go now?'

'Yeah,' Hotch nodded and got up, leaving the room and closing the door quietly. He could deal with Emily being annoyed with him. They were actually planning the surprise, although he was actually interested to know if she had still been hurting herself?

'Are you okay?' Lilly asked.

'I'm angry at Hotch…' she started, that much was obvious to Lilly 'I'm sorry' she apologized to her.

'What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything…'Lilly said.

'Did Hotch make you uncomfortable the other day?' Emily asked instead of answering her question.

Lilly cleared her throat and answered truthfully 'a bit yea… but only because I didn't know what to answer…'

'Yeah I know… I'm sorry for that. You shouldn't have to answer that question or feel uncomfortable.' Emily explained. 'I'm planning on telling them when I get out of here; I mean I can't do it in the hospital.'

'I know but it's okay,' Lilly responded.

The pair stayed silent for a couple of moments before Lilly spoke up. 'But about the other day…'

'What happened?' Emily asked immediately, sounding worried.

'The other day JJ and I were outside talking and it was just before Hotch asked me but a guy called, his name was John, he said you were supposed to call and when I told him who I was he said you've spoken about me and then he asked me if you said anything about how Hotch was treating you and if things have gotten better between you now…' Lilly explained.

Emily nodded and listened until she finished talking.

'So John wanted me to tell you to get better soon and call him if you can.'

'Thanks Lilly, I'll text him in a bit,' Emily said gratefully.

Lilly nodded in reply and then asked, 'he seemed pretty worried about you, is he your friend or more than a friend?'

'He's a… yeah I guess you could say he's one of my friends…' Emily started but then frowned.

'But?' Lilly asked, sensing there was a but at the end of that sentence.

'Um… I need to tell you something,' Emily said hesitantly.

'Okay? What do you need to tell me?' Lilly frowned; she thought they were talking about John.

'That was John Cooley… your biological father,' Emily told her.

To say that Lilly was shocked was an understatement…

'Oh…' Lilly said shock evident in her voice. Yea that was all she could think of, she didn't know what to say.

'Yeah… I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier,' Emily apologized; she just wanted to make sure everything was alright between them before she told her about her father.

Lilly shook her head, she was very thankful she was sitting down.

'It's okay… I just thought my birth father was dead… that's what mum told me,' Lilly told her.

'Yeah, I didn't know she knew who he was,' Emily said back.

Lilly shrugged, 'neither did I,' she said. 'He seemed nice when I spoke to him,'

'Yeah… he's a good guy…' Emily smiled slightly. 'You look like him actually.'

Lilly smiled. 'Really? Can I see a picture?' she asked, that was cool, and her dad was actually alive.

'Of course,' Emily said and Lilly passed her, her purse with her phone and everything in.

She got up the picture of him on her phone and passed it to Lilly so she could take a look at the picture.

'I do, oh wow,' Lilly said surprised. 'Can you tell me more about him?' Lilly asked Emily.

'Yea of course…' Emily said and then she started telling Lilly about her biological father.

Emily and Lilly stayed, talking and asking questions, until they were both exhausted and fell asleep.

The next day!

Emily's nurse came in, to check on her. 'I'm just going to check on you, see how your stitches are doing and everything,' she explained politely.

'Okay that's fine,' Emily replied, standing up so she could check.

Checking the scars and scratches on her legs, she saw that it was fine, it just needed re-bandaging. Moving to her arm, she took of the bandage on her wrist and looked at the scratches and scars on her arm. Moving to look at her left arm she did the same, but noticed that her arm had single white lines and a few pinky red lines, that were far to straight. She wasn't an ME but she would guess that they were self inflicted.

Emily was getting nervous, the more she stayed silent. 'Is everything okay?' Emily asked.

'Everything is fine Emily but a few of the scars on your left wrist look new and...'

'They're fine,' Emily said.

'Emily, they look self inflicted, too straight, like it was made carefully... I hate to ask but do you self harm?'

Emily only stayed silent, she was in shock. 'Can I go home today? I mean everything is fine, so can I go?' Emily asked.

'I see a lot of patients coming in with self inflicted wounds, everyday so... Look Emily I can't say I understand but I can help you. Some of the patients... some of them don't make it, so I want to help you... Let me go and get a card for you with a number. Someone that will listen to you and get you help so you can stop.'

'No you can't do that... you don't understand. I can't talk to someone.' Emily pleaded.

'I'm sorry,' the nurse replied and walked out so she could get her the card she always kept.

'Hey what happened, what did the doctor say?' Hotch asked.

'She said that everything was fine and she's coming back in a minute... to give me a card...' Emily explained quietly.

Biting her lip and trying not to cry, he walked over to her. 'Give you a card for what?' he asked, putting his arms around her, trying to calm her down and comfort her.

When Hotch put his arms around her, she started crying. Looking up at him, she answered. 'She saw my scars...'


	34. Chapter 34

Where's my Baby?

Chapter 34 - Blood

'Oh Emily I'm sorry,' Hotch said, he felt bad for her, comforting her by rubbing her back as she cried against his chest. 'What did she say?'

'It doesn't matter, but she's going to get me a card so I can speak to someone,' Emily explained.

'I think that's a good idea, I think that you should do it,' Hotch said.

'Maybe...' Emily trailed off.

'Or at least try,' Hotch said softly, continuing to rub her back.

'They don't understand,' Emily started, looking up at him, so he could hear her properly.

'They don't understand what? Why you do it? What it means to you?' Hotch asked.

'All of it. They know what it is but they can't... everyone of these scars is a battle that I lost with myself, since I was 15 I've lost so many battles with myself, they won't understand,' Emily told him.

'You don't have to tell them why, or when, you can tell them whatever you feel comfortable with. Or tell them what you just told me, but I'm not going to leave, I'll support you,' Hotch said softly.

'Thank you,' Emily said.

The next day!

When Emily was asleep and the team were out, something happened to Emily.

When the team came back, the doctor was waiting for them. 'What happened?' Lilly asked.

'Whilst you were out, Emily collapsed and she's in surgery,' the doctor told them.

'How did she collapse? Is she going to be okay?' Lilly asked, tears in her eyes.

'We're not sure yet, but she needs a blood transfusion,' the nurse explained.

'I'll give blood,' Lilly said straight away.

'Okay, she's blood type AB.'

'So am I, can we go?' Lilly asked impatiently. She would do anything to get Emily out of surgery.

'Yes if you would come with me,' the nurse said.

Lilly nodded and followed the doctor, so she could give blood.

'Are you okay with giving blood? It might be a little pinch, but it will be over in a second,' he said.

'Okay, yeah I'm fine with it, I just want my mum to be okay.'

'Look away,' he said as he saw Lilly looking at the needle going in her arm. 'Your mum will be fine, she's a strong woman, she has a lot left to fight for.'

'Yeah she's very strong,' Lilly agreed.

'Are you close with your mum?'

'Well I'm getting closer to her, I haven't known her that long,' Lilly half explained but he didn't need to know the details.

'Oh okay, well your mum is strong, she'll make it through.' The nurse said, 'Okay, I'm done now.'

'Thank you,' Lilly said, leaving to go back to the rest of the team.

'Hey how did it go?' JJ asked.

'Yeah it went fine you know, all they did was take blood,' Lilly answered quietly. 'Has there been any news yet?' She asked hopefully.

'No not yet,' they answered.

'How are you holding up?' JJ asked Lilly.

'Well Emily is in surgery and I can't do anything the least I've done is give blood and that's all I can do,' Lilly said frustrated. 'We just need her to wake up and waiting... It's killing me just sitting around,' she finished.

'Emily's strong,' JJ replied.

'Yeah Emily is strong and that's why she'll pull through,' Lilly agreed.

'What if she doesn't?' Hotch asked, there was a slight chance she wouldn't.

'What do you mean by that?' Lilly asked, she didn't want more problems.

'Hotch...' JJ said, glaring at him.

'Well she has to, because I don't know what I'd do if she got taken away,' Lilly told them with tears in her eyes, she didn't actually want to think about losing her at the moment.

She was trying not to break down, every time she saw Emily in that bed, lying there just still and lifeless.

20 minutes later!

A doctor came out and said, 'Emily is... she made it through surgery, she's strong, obviously has a lot left to fight for,' he started. 'But she's not out of the woods yet, she's got a long way to go.'

Everyone let out a sigh of relief!

All they needed to know was that Emily had made it through surgery and she did. Now they needed Emily to wake up and come back to them.

No one had seen Lilly leave to go outside and she was extremely thankful for that because she wanted to be left alone.

She found a seat on a bench outside and sat down carefully. She was starting to shake.

Lilly was scared.

And she didn't know what to do, she couldn't help Emily in any way.

She put her face in her hands and started to cry.

JJ went looking for her, knowing that Lilly would be emotional. She wanted to give her space but knew that it wasn't a good idea. When she had found her on the bench crying, she felt her heart ache a little, seeing how upset she was.

Sitting down next to Lilly, she rubbed her back carefully. 'Hey, Emily's okay, she's strong,' JJ whispered.

'I know, but I can't do anything to help her.'

'You can be there for her, you've given her blood, you can be strong, for her and for you. You're both strong so that should be enough, Emily made it through the last time and the time before that, so she'll make it through this time as well, you just have to believe,' JJ reassured her softly. 'It's scary every time but she's always okay.'

Lilly looked up, wiping her tears, thinking about what JJ had said. 'I'll try to be strong. Thank you.'


	35. Going Home

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 35 – going home!**

Emily woke up a few hours later and Lilly went in to see her. 'Hey, I was so worried about you, are you okay?' Lilly asked. 'Sorry, stupid question.'

'It's okay, I'm alright I'll be fine, the nurse said that I collapsed because of a tear in one of my stitches and I lost too much blood so I collapsed. I guess I should've told a nurse,' Emily told her daughter.

'What? Are you okay? Next time anything like that happens, you have to tell me or the nurse straight away, it scared all of us, just promise you wont do it again,' Lilly told Emily seriously.

Emily heard the fear in her daughters voice and nodded her head. 'Okay I promise, I'll tell you or a nurse if anything happens and Lilly,' Emily waited for Lilly to look at her. 'I am okay,' she told her with a smile.

'Okay,' Lilly smiled.

The next morning the team came in to the hospital again to see Emily and again they saw Lilly with her, both still sleeping.

The team didn't know what to do and they didn't want to wake them up so they just left the two to sleep.

They didn't have to wait long as Emily woke up a few minutes later, she tried to stretch but remembered her broken ribs where still hurting. 'Ow shit that hurt' Emily mumbled to herself, waking Lilly up immediately.

'Are you okay?' Lilly asked, waking up fully. 'Do you need anything?'

Emily smiled softly 'sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I was trying to stretch but it didn't really work out well but I'm okay'

'Do you need your pain killers?' Lilly suggested, still worried.

Emily made a face, she really didn't want to take them 'Okay, I'll have one' she said then thanked her when she took them.

Emily slowly got out of bed and Lilly was shocked 'where are you going?'

'Let's take a walk; I can't stay in this room any longer' Emily replied.

'But the doctor said…' she stopped when Emily opened the door and was greeted by the team.

'Where are you going?' JJ asked.

'Walking… somewhere,' Emily answered and tried to walk forward only to be stopped by her team again.

'Yea, you're walking to your bed,' JJ said back.

Emily pouted and then turned around going back to the bed, slowly sitting down on it.

'Can you get my doctor please!' Emily said to anyone and they started worrying.

'What do you need? Of course I'll get the doctor now.'

'I need to know when I can go home… I'm trapped in here' Emily sighed and then pouted again.

'You can go home today if you stay in bed, we just need to check you again and then you are all set to go' the doctor said, as he came in.

'Yes' Emily said happily, and let out a sigh of relief. 'Finally, I was starting to miss my bed' she said, making the team laugh.

A few hours later!

JJ was dropping, Lilly off at the hotel, whilst she went to change. Whilst they was waiting for Lilly JJ looked at Emily expectantly.

'What?' Emily asked, frowning.

'What's going on with you and Lilly?' JJ asked, testing her. She wanted to know if Emily would be honest and tell her that Lilly is her daughter.

'You're asking as well?' Emily sighed.

'Yea because we're curious and…' JJ said looking down.

'What?' Emily asked, wanting her to continue.

'It feels like you're shutting us out, you've spent so much time with Lilly but you won't tell us why. You've changed and I feel like you're not telling us something. We've spoken to Lilly in the last week or so you've been here and it seems like she knows a lot about you… you told her all about you in the last couple of months and we've had to find out all that we know about you in so many years. Em you don't normally open up that easily to someone you don't know, especially a victim we saved from a case, you don't take them home and get their phone number and things like that so what's different with Lilly?' JJ asked, expressing her thoughts. 'This morning and yesterday we saw you and Lilly asleep; you were stroking her hair, like a mother would do to their child when they can't sleep,' she took a deep breath and then added again, 'I feel that you only have a real genuine smile when you're with or talk about Lilly.'

Emily felt bad, she didn't know they felt like that and she thought she should've known. Emily gave JJ a hug. 'I'm sorry JJ… you know all of you are so important to me, I didn't know I was making you feel like that. I'm not shutting any of you out,' she bit her lip. That wasn't exactly true. 'And Lilly, we're getting to know each other and in someway it felt easier to talk to Lilly about some things… but please don't take any offence to that because it has nothing to do with you and finding us asleep, I was stroking her hair to get her to fall asleep and it worked and…' Emily took a deep breath and then added, 'she's not just a victim from a case, she's really important to me,' she sounded hurt. Emily didn't want them to think of Lilly like that, just a victim, she survived.

'It looked like you were her mother and the team agreed… don't take this the wrong way but it looked like you were acting as a surrogate mother or something… don't you think you've gotten too close I mean you haven't known each other long enough.'

Emily sighed, feeling kind of annoyed. 'JJ I appreciate your concern, I really do but there is nothing to worry about, she's important to me and I care about her, doesn't mean I'm trying to act like or replace her birth mother because I'm not trying to do that, I just want her to know that I'm there for her if she needs me,' she explained.

JJ was going to say something back but Lilly returned and she wiped her tears and smiled at Emily, they'd talk later.

She drove off to Emily's apartment where the team was waiting for her inside.

'It's so good to be home' Emily said happily and waited for Lilly to come in 'do you want a drink or anything?' she asked everyone.

'Surprise...' They all shouted, when Emily got in and put her bags down.

'Oh my god you guys,' Emily said with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. 'Thank you!'

'Don't thank us, thank Lilly, it was all her idea,' Rossi said with a smile.

Emily turned around with a bigger smile and gave her daughter a hug and a kiss on the cheek, 'thank you baby, it's amazing, I love it.'

'It's no problem, I'm glad you like it,' Lilly returned her mums hug.

The rest of the team already had drinks so Emily went to get drinks for herself, Lilly and JJ.

They went to sit down with the team, talking and laughing for hours, sharing stories.

JJ was happy for now that Emily was telling them new stories, they'd never heard before. Emily was making an effort and she could tell the rest of the team was happy too.

Emily would've loved to see the team stay longer but she could barely keep her eyes open, she felt that the painkiller she had taken was starting to kick in.

She had listened to what JJ said and realized she was right, so Emily had decided to tell them a few happy stories that she remembers having with her family, they were all when she was little, before she got pregnant with Lilly.

Emily couldn't tell the team any stories about after that because she didn't really have any happy stories to tell, her family life had changed so much after she had lost her daughter and every memory she did have after that wasn't a happy one.

Her parents had looked at her with such disappointment when she told them that she was pregnant and keeping the baby.

Her mother had tried to convince her to get rid of it whilst her dad was a bit more supportive. Her mother said it was because it was easier and because she was too young but Emily knew that was a lie, her mother didn't want to ruin her reputation by having a teenage daughter that was pregnant.

Emily didn't really have many memories of her parents, only that they had to move around a lot and that they had to work all the time.

She saw them in the morning and saw them at dinner and a bit after that, but the rest of the day her mother was working, mostly having meetings. She thought Christmas should be about family and spending time together, not working. Even though she didn't really get along with them in her teenage years she still wanted to spend Christmas with them. It was the same on birthdays too.

'Emily?' JJ asked; she was in her own world now.

Lilly put her hand on her shoulder and called her name. 'Emily? Are you alright?' she asked.

'Huh oh yea, I'm okay,' Emily answered.

The team sensed that she was getting tired, so one by one they started to leave, letting her rest. 'Can I talk to you quickly?' JJ asked Emily.

'Yeah,' Emily nodded and they both got up, going into her room for some privacy. 'What's up?'

'I'm sorry about earlier...'

'Don't say sorry it's okay,' Emily gave her a reassuring smile.

'I know that Lilly's your daughter,' JJ told her. 'I was just asking earlier to see if you'd actually tell me that she was, but I already knew, but it's been nice to hear you tell stories about you, so we can get to know you more.'

'I'm so sorry JJ, I know I should've told you I'm scared I guess and I just wanted a little more time,' Emily told her, giving JJ a hug. 'And yeah I figured you were right.'

'It's alright I understand, you're amazing with Lilly by the way,' JJ said, before suggesting they go back to the team and saying they could talk later.

'Hey maybe I should come back later, I'll let you rest for a bit,' Lilly suggested.

'Are you sure? I can drop you off,' Emily suggested.

'No you stay and rest, I'm sure,' Lilly smiled. 'You look tired and your doctor told you to relax.'

Emily sighed, 'I guess your right.'

Lilly and Emily said goodbye and then Emily was all alone again, she went up to her room and rested her head on the pillow, trying to sleep.

She should've been able to sleep, she had taken a painkiller.

Emily was glad in a way that she couldn't sleep because she knew she was going to have another nightmare, she always did...


	36. Chapter 36

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 36 – Thinking!**

Emily stayed in bed a little longer, still trying to sleep, but she couldn't, her mind was on overdrive.

She kept thinking.

She wondered how life would've been so different if she had looked after Lilly, if she had another little child she could look after, she wanted to be a mom so badly, although she was Lilly's biological mother she hadn't looked after her so she wished for another chance.

She wouldn't be like her parents and work all the time so she had no time for her kids.

Emily wouldn't think that money is more important than family, she would love her kids unconditionally and pay more attention to her kids when she was around and not on cases. She would play with them equally and spend the whole day with them as a family on Christmas day. She would do everything her parents didn't do with her.

Emily then started thinking how she might have turned out differently if her parents had shown her a bit more that they loved her and wasn't always disappointed in her.

An hour later she was still thinking and she was starting to get upset. She got out of bed, she decided to do something that would take her mind of all the things she was thinking.

She went to get her bag and her keys, she sat down to put on her shoes and walked out of the door carefully, she went down and out of her apartment to get some fresh air, and Emily went round the corner where there was a bench so she could sit down.

Emily let out a sigh of relief when she sat down as her body was still aching and she was tired. She went in her bag and took out her purse, taking out the ultrasound picture she had of Lilly and smiled.

She took out her lighter and pack of cigarettes. Lighting it up she took a drag from it and closed her eyes. She smiled slightly, this was making her feel better, making her forget a few things she didn't want to remember.

She was afraid to sleep because of the nightmares she knew she would have.

The ache in her body was getting too much and she had forgotten her pills up stairs, even though she didn't want to take the pills she knew she had to, so she finished her cigarette and went back upstairs slowly.

After she took her painkiller she went in the bathroom to have a shower, she was feeling extremely emotional and she didn't like it, she was hoping her shower would help her relax.

Once she had gotten out, she looked at herself in the mirror and sighed, she still had a few bruises, on her arms, her stomach and a few on her legs. She looked at the long cut going across her thigh and she remembered the pain she felt when he cut her, she couldn't stop the bleeding as her hands where tied, that was also a time that she couldn't control her emotions and she hated it.

Before she even knew what she was doing she grabbed something she knew she shouldn't have but now all she wanted was to control her emotions, it seemed the shower hadn't helped after all.

She sat in front of the mirror and looked at her arms, she shook her head and closed her eyes, all the ugly thoughts and the memories faded away when she felt the razor cut her wrist, when she looked down and opened her eyes she felt and saw the blood drip down her arm, going onto the floor, that was just another scar going on her arm. She did it again and watched as more blood dripped on the floor, she was starting to feel better and she could finally control her emotions, she cut one more time feeling completely in control now, a few tears ran down her face and she quickly wiped them away, she wasn't supposed to cry but she couldn't help it, everything that happened in the last couple of weeks were too much and she wanted to control something once again.

Emily snapped out of it when she heard her phone go off. She quickly stood up; she went to grab a towel and wet it, wiping the floor quickly and then throwing it in the wash.

She went to get dressed quickly putting a black hoodie over her arms and then went over to check her phone but as she was about to do that there was a knock on her door, she sighed, she wasn't sure she was in the mood for anyone to come around at the moment, she wanted some alone time.

Then she was grateful that someone had come over, because as much as she wanted to be alone; if she was alone all she would do is think, and she had done enough of that today, she hadn't slept either, so she was still extremely tired.

She moved towards the door, looking at who it was, she smiled and opened the door letting them come in.

'Hey what are you doing here?' Emily asked, clearly surprised.

'We came with some food, because you're not aloud to go out we thought we would bring some food here to you,' Lilly explained, Hotch putting the food down.

Emily smiled. 'Not that I'm not grateful or anything because I am, I'm just not hungry at the moment.'

'You need to eat, I don't think you're getting away with not eating,' Lilly said seriously.

'I'm really not hungry.'

'You must be Emily, you haven't eaten in a couple of days and that's really not good for you,' Hotch said, concern in his voice.

'I'm fine…' Emily said and then looked at both of them who were almost glaring at her, Emily sighed. 'Okay I'll eat a little but that's it.'

'That's fine, as long as you eat…' Lilly responded, happily. 'Did you get any sleep?' Lilly asked next.

Emily swallowed and nodded her head, 'yeaH I…'

'Emily don't lie to us…' Hotch said to her.

She sighed in response and said, 'I tried but I couldn't…'

'How long did you try?' Hotch asked.

'I don't know a couple of hours,' Emily frowned and bit her lip. 'I had too many thoughts running through my head, it was making my head spin, I felt so dizzy and I don't think anyone could sleep if they were thinking the same as me,' Emily explained.

Emily felt she was still bleeding so before they could say anything she said she would be back in a second, running to the bathroom.

She pulled up her sleeve quickly, wrapping a bandage on her wrist. Emily sorted out her bandage and then pulled her sleeve down again, walking out of the bathroom after washing her hands. She walked back in, remembering to put her razor where she always does so nobody would find it, then went out again, turning of the light.

'I'm back sorry,' Emily said and she saw Lilly giving her a strange look, Emily sighed, Lilly knew what she done, she couldn't hide from Lilly even if she tried, she would definitely know just like she knows now.

Lilly would speak to Emily later and ask if she wanted to talk about it. It must've been difficult for Emily to deal with, she wondered what kind of thoughts were going through her head whilst she was trying to sleep, it must've been bad if Emily had hurt herself again.

Hotch had gone to the bathroom, and when he came back he had a frown on his face. 'What's wrong?' Emily asked.

'There's blood on the floor,' Hotch said, giving her a look. Emily sighed, she had been caught.

'Where is it?' Emily replied.

'In the bathroom by the mirror and cupboard,' he said.

'Oh um… one of my scratches started bleeding so it must've gone on the floor, I tried to wipe it but I guess not all of it came off, I'll go and wipe it up now' Emily lied. "SHIT!" Emily thought to herself.

'Oh its okay I've done it… is it okay now?' Hotch asked, more concerned.

'Thank you… yeah its okay now,' Emily replied. Feeling grateful that Hotch believed her, but then she felt bad for lying to him and changed her mind.

'Are you sure? There was quite a lot of blood,' Hotch told her.

'No I hurt myself again… let's eat now before the food gets cold,' Emily suggested, she really wanted out of this conversation, it was uncomfortable for her and she didn't want to have to explain.

'Emily we have to talk about it,' Hotch said walking over to her. He was concerned.

'No I don't want to talk about it yet.'

'Are you okay?' Lilly asked quietly when Hotch had gone into the other room.

Emily got tears in her eyes. 'I don't know if I'm okay, I'll think about it and then tell you,' Emily told her.

Lilly nodded her head and then gave her a hug, 'I'm here to listen if you want to talk,' Lilly whispered to her.

Emily returned the hug and said, 'thank you,' before they walked into the other room.


	37. Chapter 37

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 37 – Talking and feelings!**

The rest of the night went pretty well and when Hotch left Emily and Lilly stayed up talking.

'So are you okay now? You said you didn't know before,' Lilly asked concerned.

'I guess I'm better than before,' Emily told her honestly.

'Good, do you want to talk about it?' Lilly wondered.

Emily took a deep breath and sat up properly, tucking her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, leaning her back against the couch. 'I just was thinking how different my life would've been. How I would've turned out if my parents had been around more often, I mean I only saw my parents in the morning and for dinner on Christmas day otherwise they were working as usual, like it's a normal day. I was wondering how my life would've been different if mother hadn't given you away. I was thinking…' Emily started and then bit her lip.

'What were you thinking?' Lilly wondered.

'It's crazy… I was thinking that I want… another baby.'

Lilly was shocked and didn't know how to react, 'oh…'

'I know… see its crazy…' Emily told her and then shook her head, sighing.

'It's sweet,' Lilly commented.

'I just want another chance to be a mum,' Emily said.

Lilly frowned. 'You are, you're my mom though,' she said. 'Your the best mum anyone can ever ask for.'

'I feel that I'm not though… all I did was give birth to you, I never got a chance to look after you or watch you grow, or do any of the things a mother does with their child…' Emily said whilst looking at Lilly, a few tears going down her face.

Lilly put her hand on Emily's before putting her arms around her, she saw her point. 'I wish I had that experience with you too, I'm sure you'll get another chance, you'll always be my mom and you still can be, we can still experience new things together, create new memories,' Lilly told her.

Emily nodded, putting her head on Lilly's shoulder. 'I hope so… because I want to do those things you know, like do my daughters hair, take her to school, take my son to football practice, help my daughter with her make up or…' Emily sighed and shook her head, she was crying now again.

'You will get the chance to do that, unfortunately I'm a bit too old to do some of those things,' Lilly said, making Emily laugh.

'You're not old, you're young,' Emily said.

'Well if I'm young then so are you, I mean you gave birth to me when I was 16 so you're only 16 years older than me, that doesn't sound too bad,' Lilly said softly, stroking her mums hair lovingly.

Emily laughed again and kissed her daughters head, 'I guess you could say that we're both young then.'

They stayed silent for a minute feeling comfortable.

'Was it bad?' Lilly asked, seeing Emily's confused face she elaborated, 'the cuts.'

Emily laughed and answered, 'I guess if there was still blood on the floor, but I put a bandage on it, there was quite a bit of blood on the floor, I had to control my emotions you know, all the thoughts I had in my head were driving me crazy… I don't know what to do anymore,' she said in a whisper, sounding defeated.

Lilly felt bad for Emily, she understood how Emily was feeling. 'I understand… it helps talking about it or crying I think,' Lilly suggested.

Emily nodded, agreeing with her. 'I need to tell someone… I don't know how they'll react though… that scares me and I feel like I'm afraid of myself,' Emily said, wiping the tears from her face.

'I'm sure your team won't judge you, I mean they're your family and family shouldn't judge… they might ask why but you don't have to answer if you don't want to,' Lilly said and gave her another hug.

Emily returned the hug and whispered thank you and then told her. 'I feel that I should answer though because today, JJ said it felt like I was keeping something from them even though she knows…' Emily shook her head. 'I mean it's true, I don't want to hurt their feelings I don't mean to,' she added, blaming herself.

'Don't blame yourself Emily; it's not your fault,' Lilly told Emily, sensing that Em was blaming herself.

* * *

AH

Hotch was sitting on his couch trying to watch TV but he couldn't watch it properly, he was so worried about Emily, he had gotten a really bad feeling when he had found the blood on the floor.

Hotch sighed, he and Emily was going food shopping tomorrow for her so he would ask her then if she was okay.

But for now he was going to bed, he could worry about it later.

* * *

EP

By the time Emily and Lilly had finished talking it was near 3 in the morning. Lilly and Emily were both starting to get tired.

Emily's ribs were really starting to hurt; at times it felt like she couldn't breathe so she knew she had to take a pain killer. Once Emily had taken her pain killer she checked her phone and Lilly asked what time it was.

'Oh it's 3 in the morning,' Emily said and looked at her.

'Oh…' Lilly said, shocked. She didn't know it was that late. 'I should probably go then, let you sleep for a bit before you have to get up.'

'Why don't you just stay, the guest bedroom is already set up… it's really late as it is…' Emily suggested, she didn't feel comfortable letting Lilly go home this late, take a cab just to get to a hotel, not after what she had been through and what kind of dangers Emily knew were around. 'I don't want you to go,' she added quietly.

'Are you sure?' Lilly asked, she looked and sounded so vulnerable so she agreed. Watching Emily nod her head she said, 'I don't have pyjamas.'

'Borrow mine, I have loads… although I don't know why,' Emily said at the end making Lilly smile.

'Alright,' Lilly said and they both got up, getting pajamas and everything ready.

'Thanks for listening to all my crap tonight…' Emily said as they said goodnight.

'It wasn't crap and I said I'd listen,' Lilly answered back, giving her mum a hug.

'I know but thanks still,' Emily said back and then said goodnight once again, going to their rooms.

The next morning there was a knock on the door, both Lilly and Emily were still asleep, it was Hotch and he was getting worried.

After about 5 minutes Hotch was getting ready to kick the door down to see if Emily was okay, he knocked a few more times and called her name, then the door opened.

'Oh, hi Lilly, is Emily around?' Hotch asked, stepping in, she was wearing Emily's pajamas and he smiled she looked a bit like her.

Lilly yawned and rubbed her eyes, 'yeah, what's the time?'

'Sorry for waking you,' Hotch got his phone out and told Lilly the time, '10 to 10.'

Lilly yawned again and nodded her head. 'I'll go get her, I think she's still asleep though.'

Hotch was surprised at that, Emily would never sleep that long.

Lilly walked away, up stairs to knock on the door, she heard Emily groan in annoyance and then the door opened.

'Is everything okay?' Emily asked, one eye still closed, 'wait did I hear knocking or was I dreaming?' Emily asked, and then yawned.

'No you didn't dream that, Hotch is downstairs.'

'Oh fuck… I completely forgot,' Emily said, shocked. 'Oh my god… what's the time?'

'10…' Lilly answered.

'10? Oh sugar, okay I'll get dressed,' Emily said, now awake 'I'll tell him to wait or something,' Emily told Lilly, she didn't really know what she was saying at the moment.

Lilly smirked and nodded her head as she moved out of the way, they walked downstairs and Emily yawned again.

'Hey Hotch, sorry I'm going to get dressed now,' Emily told him and yawned again, she was so tired.


	38. 5 Months Later

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 38 – Telling Lilly the news!**

5 months later!

Lilly was visiting Emily again for a few weeks; she went to pick her up and drove her back to her apartment.

Lilly saw how happy Emily was and she asked why she was so happy.

Emily bit her lip and blushed as she passed Lilly her drink and sat on the couch next to her. 'Well I am going to tell the team now about you… I feel it's the best time and...'

'That's great… and what else?' Lilly asked excited.

'Well… I'm pregnant,' Emily told her with a wide smile on her face.

Lilly was shocked. 'Oh my god… that's amazing news, congratulations,' Lilly said as she gave Emily a tight hug, she was happy for her. 'So how far along are you? Do you know your due date? Do you know what you're having? Who's the father?'

Emily laughed at Lilly's questions. 'Are you happy? Are you okay with it? Being a big sister I mean.'

'Of course, I'm so excited and for you too,' Lilly told her with a smile, kissing her mums cheek.

Emily nodded in return and answered her questions from before. 'I'm 8 weeks pregnant, I'm due in April, I don't know what I'm having yet and Hotch is the father,' Emily answered.

'Hotch? Oh my god,' Lilly said shocked. 'Does he know? Are you together now?'

Emily sighed happily and nodded her head. 'Yeah he does and we've been dating for a couple of months now,' she blushed.

Lilly smiled happily. 'That's sweet… so does your team know yet?' she asked.

'No they don't… I told you first,' Emily confessed.

Lilly smiled even more, happy that she was the first one she told and just as she was about to say something Emily opened her mouth. 'I have an ultrasound in a couple of days at 11… but Hotch can't go so I was wondering if you would like to come with me instead?' Emily asked.

Lilly was shocked and nodded her head, 'sure I'd love to…' Emily nodded her head smiling and Lilly gave her another hug, saying congratulations again.

A couple of days later Hotch came over in the morning for a bit, seeing how Emily was and saying hello to Lilly, asking how it was to fly over here again.

Lilly said congratulations to Hotch and spoke to him for a bit whilst Emily was getting everything ready.

Hotch stayed a little while longer, all of them talking about the baby, Emily was feeling emotional and happy.

Hotch kissed Emily goodbye and then left, when Emily shut the door she leaned against the door and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

'Are you alright?' Lilly asked concerned that something was wrong.

Emily opened her eyes and walked towards Lilly, nodding her head, 'yeah I think it's just the hormones…' Emily said, getting tears in her eyes. 'Damn hormones.'

Lilly smiled and checked her phone for the time.

Emily took another deep breath trying to control her emotions, she felt a few tears going down her cheeks and she wiped them away shaking her head.

Lilly looked at Emily and asked, 'are you sure you're okay?'

'Yeah… I guess. I'm just really happy so I'm emotional now and these damn hormones aren't helping,' Emily cursed.

Lilly laughed and nodded her head.

Emily was crying a little now. 'I'm so happy you know… that I got another chance, I never thought I would,' she said 'and I think it's a bit weird, Hotch supporting me… my parents didn't really support me last time as much as I needed them to and I was all alone when I was pregnant with you, so the fact that Hotch cares enough to do that… it's making me emotional.'

Lilly nodded her head understanding on some level, 'yeah of course you deserve another chance,' she smiled, it was true. After what she had been through she deserved another chance to be a mom, from the beginning.

Emily got more tears in her eyes hearing that from Lilly, she wiped her tears away and smiled at her, 'thank you, that means a lot.'

Half an hour later Emily and Lilly arrived at the hospital.

The doctor came out and called Emily's name. Emily stood up looking at Lilly asking her to come in, she was nervous as hell and Lilly could tell so she nodded standing up following Emily and the doctor to the room they were supposed to be in.

Emily had to lie down on the bed and pull her top up just over her tummy.

Lilly smiled, that was the first time she had seen Emily's baby bump. It was cute, in a way she was getting a new sibling, because her biological mom was pregnant.

Lilly felt privileged that Emily had been so trusting, telling her about the pregnancy first and asked if Lilly wanted to join her at the ultrasound.

She looked up at the screen when the doctor started talking, moving the transducer around. 'Congratulations Emily, you're having twins.'

Emily smiled wide and got tears in her eyes again. She was so happy; she was having twins.

She looked at Lilly and smiled, making sure she was alright. Lilly smiled back in return saying congratulations again and that she was happy for her.

'Emily would you like to have a video and a photograph?' the doctor asked Emily.

Emily smiled brightly and said, 'yes please I would love to have a photo and a video'

'Okay I will get that for you now,' the doctor replied.

'Thank you,' Emily thanked her.

20 minutes later!

Emily and Lilly walked out of the hospital with a picture and a video, Emily texted Hotch saying they were done now and going to get lunch.

Emily and Lilly ordered a chicken salad for lunch and then went shopping for a bit, Emily got 2 new teddies, one for each.

Emily put her ultrasound picture in her purse, with her other one of Lilly.

Once Emily and Lilly had finished shopping and went home Hotch was standing outside her door with a smile on his face.

'Hey, how'd it go?' Hotch asked when Emily opened the door.

Emily smiled brightly and said 'it went amazing.'

'That's good,' Hotch smiled. Knowing she was hiding something he asked, 'what else?'

'We're having twins,' Emily said excitedly.


	39. Chapter 39

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 39 – the teddy bear and the necklace!**

A few weeks later!

Hotch walked in to Emily's apartment, 'Em I'm here now,' Hotch announced his arrival.

'Oh hey, I'm in here,' Emily shouted from the kitchen.

Hotch walked in and frowned, 'what are you doing?' Hotch asked walking over to give her a kiss.

'I'm trying to get rid of a few things,' Emily explained.

'Do you want me to help you?' Hotch suggested.

'Yes can you start in my room, I'll be there in a minute I'm almost done,' Emily explained to him and then told him some things that he could get rid of.

'Alright, just be careful and call if you need any help,' he said, gave her a kiss and then left. Hotch walked in to her room and looked around, trying to find a few things she wouldn't want anymore.

He got rid of the things she said she didn't want, putting them in a box and then he looked around trying to find some more. He picked up a teddy that looked a few years old and shrugged, he'd find out.

Hotch walked out of her room and into the kitchen where she was and held it up for her to see. 'Do you want me to get rid of this teddy?' he asked.

Emily looked up when he spoke and gasped. She needed to remind herself to breathe and shook her head, tears in her eyes, 'no, don't get rid of that…' she almost shouted, 'please just leave it and put it back, just put it on my bed. I need to keep that,' she said calmer and took the teddy from him carefully.

Hotch was shocked, 'I'm sorry,' he apologized; he didn't know that it meant so much to her.

'No I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go of like that,' Emily said, looking at the teddy.

'It's alright Emily. I've never seen the teddy before, and it's cute,' Hotch said, pointing towards the little bear.

'I kept it hidden because it reminded me too much of my past but… I decided take it out again,' Emily smiled slightly as she looked up at Hotch.

'After the case?' Hotch asked carefully, he didn't want to hurt her again.

Emily cleared her throat and nodded her head, 'yeah after we found Lilly.'

'When did you get that teddy?' Hotch asked, interested to know.

'I bought it when I was 15… I've had it for 20 years,' Emily said, tears in her eyes, it was the only thing she had to remind her of her daughter when she hadn't known and so she kept it hidden so she wouldn't have to go through the pain again.

Hotch was shocked, 'I didn't know you'd had it that long, you got it a year before Lilly was born.'

Emily nodded, 'yeah almost, it's important to me so I can't get rid of it,' she said, getting rid of a tear that had fallen.

Hotch walked towards Emily slowly and carefully, putting his hands on her shoulders, he brought her into a hug. He kissed her head as she put her head on his shoulder and her arms around his waist.

'Have you spoken to Lilly since she went home?' Hotch asked.

Emily looked up and nodded her head, 'yeah I spoke to her today.'

Hotch nodded his head, 'do you want to talk about the teddy and the case?'

Emily shook her head and cleared her throat. 'I'm just going to put this back,' she said quietly, pulling back.

Emily started to walk off when she heard him call her name, she turned back to look at him and he said softly, 'I'm sorry,' again.

Emily shook her head and sent him a fake smile. 'It's fine, you didn't know,' she answered and turned around again, walking into her room and putting the bear down carefully on her bed, as if it would break any second like a China Doll.

Emily went into the bathroom and locked it when the door closed behind her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes; she walked over to her special box and opened it. She opened the box inside it and took her razor out.

She had gotten a bit too emotional before. 'Emotional over a bear get over yourself Emily,' she said to herself. She looked down at her wrist to see loads of pale scars, different sizes.

Emily held the razor against her wrist, she squeezed her eyes shut as she shook her head and put the razor back, deciding not to cut herself and be as strong as she knew that she could be. 'Emily,' Hotch started, startling her.

'Yes,' Emily answered shortly, annoyed at the interruption.

Hotch frowned and knocked on the door, 'are you okay in there?' he asked, concerned.

'Yeah I'm okay, I'm coming out now,' she pulled her sleeve down and unlocked the door as she opened it.

'Hey,' she said as she walked out to find Hotch staring at her. She smiled and gave him a kiss before leaning against the wall.

Emily looked like a guilty child that had done something wrong. 'What did you do?' Hotch asked.

Emily frowned, feigning confusion, 'nothing,' she shrugged, 'I didn't do anything,' Hotch looked at her carefully and she said, 'promise baby, I didn't do anything,' she grinned cheekily and gave him another kiss, more passionate than the last one, hoping to distract him.

Emily held up the necklace for Hotch to see the locket she had in her hand, 'see, I was just getting this necklace,' she said and looked down.

'That's pretty, how long have you had that for?' Hotch asked as he looked inside at the pictures.

'19 years,' she sighed sadly.

'Who's the baby?' Hotch asked.

'Me,' Emily lied.

'Very cute,' Hotch grinned.

Emily smiled back and looked down again, 'yeah I agree… very cute,' Emily said sadly, sounding distant.

Hotch put his hand under her chin so she could look at him. All he saw was sadness, pain and tears in her eyes. 'What's wrong?' he asked softly.

'Nothing's wrong,' Emily answered.

Hotch sighed as he kissed her head, 'your eyes look sad,' he told her quietly and stroked her cheek softly. 'Did I say something to make…' Hotch stopped when Emily put her lips on his.

'No absolutely not,' Emily shook her head. 'No it's not you… it's me. It just gave me a few bad memories but that's not important okay. You didn't do or say anything baby I promise I'm okay.'

'Are you sure? Because you can…' Hotch started.

'Just shut up and kiss me,' Emily said.

Hotch smiled and resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he leaned forward and kissed her passionately.

'Do you want me to put it on for you?' Hotch asked, pointing towards the necklace.

Emily nodded and turned around for him to put it around her neck. Once he was done he pressed a soft kiss to her neck and she turned around, 'thank you,' she said softly, sent him a smile and then kissed him again.


	40. Chapter 40

Where's my baby?

Chapter 40 - getting ready

The next morning, Emily woke up when she heard a phone ring.

Reaching over Hotch, she grabbed the phone and swiped to answer the call when she saw it was JJ. 'Prentiss,' she said tiredly.

'Oh hi Em, were you still asleep?' JJ asked.

'Yeah, what's up, do we have another case?' Emily asked.

'Oh sorry, no we don't have a case thank god, I was just wondering what you wanted me to bring tonight?' She asked.

'Oh,' Emily cleared her throat. 'Just bring you and Will and Henry, that's it,' she told her.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah hundred percent,' Emily nodded.

'Okay,' she answered before they said goodbye.

Emily put the phone down and lied back down, Hotch asking who it was.

'It was JJ,' she replied softly, putting her head on his chest and closing her eyes, going back to sleep again.

Xx

'So what did Hotch say?' Will asked when he saw JJ had come off the phone.

'Emily said don't bring anything but just get a bottle of wine,' JJ answered.

'I thought you called Hotch?' Will asked.

'Mm, so did I, until Emily answered,' JJ explained. 'I think they're together,'

'Why because she answered his phone?' Will gave her a look.

'I'll ask her tonight.'

* * *

About an hour later when Hotch and Emily woke up, they discussed what they were doing that day.

'Well I need to go home for a bit.'

'Do you have to go now or soon?' Emily asked softly.

'Soon, because I need to get Jack ready and still need to get a few more drinks and snacks for tonight,' Hotch replied, kissing her head. 'Whilst you can have a lovely day, relax and spend time with Lilly,' he told her.

'Ok that sounds good,' Emily agreed, giving him a kiss before deciding to get up.

* * *

'Are they coming today?' Lilly asked, whilst they were having breakfast.

'Yeah, they're coming later this evening.'

'Oh okay, do you need help with anything?'

'No not really, I'll let you know if I need your help though,' Emily told her daughter.

'Okay,' Lilly replied before thinking about the dress code. 'What do I have to wear? Like a dress or something?' Lilly asked.

'No you can wear whatever you want,' Emily reassured her. 'Do you want some money? We can go out and buy you something if you want,' Emily suggested.

'No it's okay,' Lilly shook her head.

Emiy nodded and after a minute of silence she said, 'please can I buy you something, we can go out shopping for the day, do you want to get your nails done or something?'

Lilly smiled and then nodded her head, 'yeah okay, I'd love that.'

'Great,' Emily smiled, this also meant that she could buy some baby clothes.

'Thank you,' Lilly said, giving her a hug.

'It's my pleasure,' Emily gave her a bright smile before asking if she was done with breakfast.

'Yeah I'm done but let me do that, just get ready, I won't be long,' Lilly told her firmly, making Emily promise to let her clear up.

'Okay,' Emily agreed, standing up so that she could have a shower and get ready for some shopping with her daughter. 'I'm going out for a bit with Lilly, but I'll let you know when we're back so you can come over,' Emily sent Hotch a message before she forgot.

'Okay, have fun,' she got his reply a few minutes later. She read the message before putting her phone down so she could get herself ready.

Once they had been shopping and Lilly got her nails done, they went home so that Emily could prepare the food for tonight.

Lilly decided to have a bath, before getting herself ready, feeling more relaxed, she wrapped a towel around her head before getting out of the bathroom.

She put on a black crop top and some black jeans before doing her make up, drawing black eyeliner around her dark brown eyes.

Putting on some music, she sang along to her favorite song whilst she drew a rose pink shade of lipliner on her lips.

In the mean time, whilst Emily was cooking dinner, she heard a knock on the door. Wondering who it was, she checked her phone for the time, she saw that she hadn't gotten a message from Hotch, telling her that they were on their way, so she went to check who it was and almost rolled her eyes.

With a sigh, Emily opened the door. 'Mother,' she said with a nod, letting her in. 'Is there any reason that your here? I'm busy.'

'Yes I wanted to come and see you?'

'What do you need?' Emily asked.

'You're pregnant?' Elizabeth stated more than asked, when she saw her daughters belly.

'Yes, now what do you need, I'm actually busy right now, and next time it would be nice if you could let me know that you were coming over,' Emily told her.

'How far along are you?' Elizabeth asked.

'Did you just hear what I said?' Emily asked, annoyed with her mother for just showing up.

'Yeah I did, I'll let you know next time,' Elizabeth said.

'Thank you,' Emily sighed, 'I'm nearly 4 months.'

'Ok, congratulations, do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?'

'I'm having both,' Emily told her.

'Your having twins!'

'Yeah,' Emily confirmed.

'Oh wow!' Elizabeth said with a smile. 'Who's the father? Does he want the children? I hope it's not like the last pregnancy when the dad didn't want the child,' Elizabeth told her.

'He wants the children,' Emily said, passing her mom a drink.

'Are you in a relationship with him?'

'Mother!'

'I have to know,' Elizabeth answered shortly.

'No you don't have to know the answer to that one but yes we are together,' Emily told her with a softer voice. 'Anyway, why did you just come over?'

'I want to... Apologize to you Emily,' Elizabeth started. 'For what I did to you!'

'Don't apologize to me, say sorry to my daughter...' Emily told her firmly.

'I need to say sorry to both of you for what I did,' she told Emily softly.

'For what taking her away from me the way you did or making me believe that my daughters dead?' Emily asked.

'Everything,' she replied. 'How I treated you throughout the pregnancy, after it, how I handled the situation with Lilly,' Elizabeth explained. 'I'm just sorry for how I treated you, even before you were pregnant... Yeah I'm just sorry for everything, and not being a good mother to you. Not being the mother I needed to be,' she told her quietly. 'Also you were right...'

'Mum... Oh,' Lilly walked in to the living room, interrupting the conversation that her mum was having. She was about to step back when Emily called her over.

She thought that she recognized the older woman, but she wasn't sure who she was.

'This is Elizabeth...' Emily cleared her throat. 'She's my mother.'

'Oh,' Lilly replied, to say that she was shocked was an understatement. 'Hi,' she said hello to her for the first time.

'Hello Lilly,' Elizabeth replied, she could see tension in Emily and Lilly, a bit of anger in Lilly's eyes which was could completely understandable.

'I'm just going to check on the food,' Emily said quietly.

'I'm on my way,' Hotch sent Emily a message.

Looking at the message, Emily groaned and put her phone down so she could carry on with the food, deciding to reply in a minute.

'Hi,' Lilly said as she came into the kitchen.

'Hey, are you okay?'

'Yeah I was wondering if you were okay,' Lilly answered.

'Well I was fine, I didn't know that she was going to come over, she just arrived, otherwise I would've told her...'

'It's alright,' Lilly gave Emily a hug.

Emily returned the hug and then let go when she heard her phone go off again.

Lilly went to give Elizabeth her drink and waited for Emily to come back when she told her to stay.

'So your my grandmother... The one that took me away from my mother and sold me,' Lilly said quietly, still sitting as far away from her as possible.

'Yeah that's me,' Elizabeth answered guiltily with a nod. 'That's why I came here today, to apologize to you and your mom,' she explained.

'That's nice,' Lilly replied, not being able to look at her.


	41. Chapter 41

Where's my baby?

Chapter 41 - Elizabeth Apologises

A few agonizing minutes later, Emily returned to the living room.

Emily took a deep breath before nodding and sitting down near Lilly. 'Okay explain.'

'First of all, I'm extremely sorry, to both of you and for putting you both through what I did,' Elizabeth told them.

'Mhm.'

'I don't really have an explanation for what I did, I was just worried for you Emily, how you would handle being a mother at that age.'

'Right so you decided that just because you couldn't handle me, that I would be like you,' Emily started. 'I know I was young but I would've figured it out.'

'I was angry.'

'I got that.'

'I wasn't angry with you though,' Elizabeth told her.

'Bullshit!'

'Emily,' Elizabeth started, 'I was a little angry with you and disappointed, but more at myself.'

'At yourself?' Emily asked, sounding disbelieving.

'Yes, for not looking after you properly,' Elizabeth explained, looking at her in the eyes. 'And not paying enough attention and when I say that I mean paying attention to you all your life.'

'Well you were always busy with work,' Emily said in reply, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

'I know.' Elizabeth agreed. 'And if I could take it back I would, I regret what I did everyday, I never meant to hurt you.'

'BULLSHIT!'

'I'm so sorry for doing what I did to both of you, I never should have taken you away from your mom,' Elizabeth said to Lilly, looking at her with apologetic eyes, trying to make sure that Lilly knew she was telling the truth.

Lilly in return just nodded, not knowing what to say or what to think and feel about the whole situation.

'I have a question,' Emily said.

'What is your question?'

'I'm surprised you don't know,' Emily said with attitude. 'Do you think you need a little more time to think of an excuse not to tell me because even though you say that you don't have a reason I think that you do!'

'Emily…'

'Don't Emily me. Just answer my question, I've waited long enough,' Emily said and then looked at Lilly to make sure that she was okay.

Elizabeth cleared her throat, 'Emily… I thought you were too young.'

'So did dad, hell he was angry with me for being pregnant but he supported me more than you did, even though it was at the END of the pregnancy,' Emily said quietly but angrily.

'You needed to do what was right at the time,' Elizabeth told her.

'Needed to do what was right?' Emily laughed, tears in her eyes. 'Right, of course… that's why I kept her; I was doing the right thing. I gave birth to her so I could raise my daughter, I didn't do it so you could get rid of her like she was a piece of trash.'

'I gave her to loving parents…' Elizabeth looked at Lilly and she looked at her mum in return, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze in support. 'You were too young Emily and I didn't give her away like trash,' Elizabeth answered.

'Stop saying I was too young mother,' Emily said through gritted teeth. 'You just didn't want me to ruin your reputation, that's all you care about and I would have loved my daughter if you'd given me the chance.'

'That's not true,' Elizabeth replied.

'Yes it is that's why you suddenly kept me from going to all the parties I hated going to, that's why you and dad started ignoring me even more than you did before, you did it because I was a disappointment and you didn't want a grandchild, well now you have 3, if you cared you wouldn't have done what you did,' Emily said, feeling hurt and angry.

'Emily… you are not a disappointment, we were busy working, trying to get money so we could pay and…' Elizabeth made an excuse.

'Guess I know where I get my lying from then...' Emily muttered. She looked at her mother and said 'that is so much bullshit… money you already had, you don't think I noticed… you couldn't even look at me, you were too busy to come to my appointments and then when I asked you what to do you told me to figure it out myself because you know... I figured out how to get pregnant when I was 15… because you were busy oh and lets not forget I was too young,' Emily said mockingly.

Before Elizabeth could respond Emily interrupted again. 'Wasn't that supposed to be more of a reason to help me out? And if I wasn't a disappointment then why would you avoid me like a disease and not even look at me, you treated me like a stranger, so much for caring and loving parents like everyone thought you were,' Emily glared at her mother. 'Do you even know me?'

Elizabeth sighed, 'we didn't want to…'

'You had a choice and that was the one you made,' Emily stated.

'Your father and I, we didn't know how to deal with the pregnancy of our 15 year old daughter, we tried,' Elizabeth said instead, it was true.

'So you did it because you didn't know how to deal with something that was about me? I knew how to deal with it and no you didn't try, you just avoided it with everything else that you find difficult,' Emily said sadly. 'That is… that's so disgusting. It makes me feel sick,' Emily continued before Emily got up and her mother looked at her.

'Where are you going?' Elizabeth asked.

'I'm going to the toilet… if that's okay,' Emily said and her mother gave her a look so she turned and walked away.

As Emily went to the bathroom, someone knocked on the door and Lilly decided to go and open it, she needed a breather and she really wanted to make sure that Emily was okay.

'Hi, come in, Emily's in the bathroom, I think you should go and see her, Elizabeth is here too,' Lilly explained to Hotch and he looked shocked but nodded his head, going to say hello to Elizabeth.

'Hello Aaron,' Elizabeth said nicely with a smile, as she saw Hotch and Jack came in. 'Who's this little one?'

'Hi Elizabeth, how have you been?' Hotch asked, 'this is Jack, he's my son.'

'Hi Jack,' Elizabeth said, whilst Hotch went to see Emily.

'Hey' Emily said softly with a smile, when she saw him, standing by her bedroom door.

'Hey Em how is it going?' Hotch asked.

Emily sighed and she responded 'it was going alright. She knows about the pregnancy…'

'That's good but…' Hotch said, feeling the but coming after the sentence.

Emily took a deep breath and rubbed her stomach, 'but it brought up a lot of bad memories that I'm trying to forget.'

'I'm sorry, well at least she's happy this time, maybe you should try to remember them and not block them out, it might help you move past it so you can have a better relationship with your mother,' Hotch said, he was more than proud of her and he was glad that she could tell him that without trying to tell him she would tell him later.

'Thank you… I'll try, I just feel that too much damage has already been done,' Emily told him, shaking her head.

He gave her a kiss. 'It's not too late for you to work things out with your mom… you can try and forgive her, let her be part of our twins lives but that doesn't mean you forget what she's done babe,' Hotch said, trying to convince her.

'I will never forget what she's done. I can't, every time I try… she just does or says something and then I realize she hasn't changed and it will remind me of everything and I don't know… I don't know much of anything any more,' Emily shook her head, tears in her eyes.

Hotch actually didn't know what to say, 'maybe give it a little more time.'

'I'll try baby but this is the last time… its just, it's stressing me out.'

'Try not to let it do that babe, that's not good,' Hotch said, concerned.

'I won't… okay I need to go before mother leaves and I won't speak to her for another 5 years or whatever' Emily said, over exaggeratingly.

'Okay,' Hotch smiled, going to give her a hug. 'I love you.'

She gave him a kiss and said, 'I love you too,' before they went back to Lilly and Jack.


	42. Chapter 42

Where's my baby?  
Chapter 42 - I forgive you.

Emily started to walk back to the couch. She looked down and smiled as she rubbed her belly, some of her hair going in her face 'daddy says hi, he loves you both so much… and your grandmother is here too,' she said as she sat down in her seat carefully next to Hotch.

Elizabeth smiled at the sight of her daughter talking to her belly and she suddenly had a flash back of Emily doing the same thing when she was 15, although then she was sad and alone, hearing her daughter say, 'we'll make it through, I promise, it's just me and you but I promise I'll always love and protect you.' Elizabeth felt a pang of sadness and guilt as she remembered the sadness and pain in her daughters' eyes. Elizabeth felt her own eyes fill with tears as she looked at Emily, when Emily looked up the smile disappeared from her face and once again Elizabeth felt a pang in her heart, wishing that her daughter's smile hadn't faded just because she looked at her.

'Emily… I'm so, so, so sorry for everything I have done… if I could take it back I would… I was just scared,' Elizabeth said again.

'So was I. I had to go through the whole pregnancy alone because you and John and dad were too scared, I didn't have anyone… to be honest I'm surprised you even came with me to the hospital when I was in labor,' Emily said.

'Of course I was going to go…' Elizabeth said.

Emily laughed humorlessly, 'ha-ha of course, so you could give her away. I forgot!'

'I'm sorry, and I'm sorry you had a bad pregnancy because of us, I'm sorry for not supporting you, I'm sorry for not being there and making you feel ignored,' Elizabeth said softly and quietly, expressing her regret.

Emily looked at her mother surprised at the tone in her voice, she hadn't seen her mother express so much emotion in all her life and Emily suddenly felt like crying. Lilly was surprised as well at the tone and she started to believe that she actually was sorry.

'Why didn't you tell me that she was alive before? I had to find out when I was on a case from her adoptive father,' Emily asked calmly when Hotch took her hand.

'I was worried about how you would react.'

'So you never would've told me otherwise?' Emily asked; she wasn't exactly shocked to hear that.

'I promise I was going to tell you,' she answered truthfully, looking down ashamed.

'I don't know if I believe you,' Emily told her honestly but softly.

'You have every right not to believe me but I'm telling you the truth and I am so very sorry for what I have done to you Emily' she said sincerely, softly and quietly, looking her right in the eyes when she told her, hoping she would believe her. 'And I'm sorry as well Lilly for taking you away from Emily, I am here now because I want to get to know you if you would let me and so that I can prove to you and Emily and the twins now that I won't do anything like that again and I just want to be involved in your lives.'

Hotch went to get Jack a drink and told him to play in another room with his toys whilst the adults had a conversation, Hotch staying with Jack, decided to give them a bit of space. 'I'll get Jack a drink and we'll let you finish your conversation,' Hotch gave her a kiss and she nodded her thanks, saying okay.

Lilly stayed quiet for a moment, 'I believe that your sorry... but why do you want to get to know me now, I've known for a long time now but you never said anything...'

'I... I wanted to give you and your mom space, time for your mom to come to terms with what I did and I wanted to give you both time to get to know each other before I explained.'

'Ok,' Lilly nodded in understanding. 'I guess I can give you a chance...'

'Thank you,' Elizabeth nodded, looking at Emily she wondered what she was thinking.

Emily cleared her throat and pulled up her sleeve to show her mother her arm for the first time. 'I did this…'

Elizabeth gasped and then gaped at her daughter's arm in shock. 'Emily? How could you? Why? When did that happen?' she asked.

'When I was 15,' Emily answered.

'Why?' she asked again.

'Because of you,' Emily said quietly. 'You kept telling me to control my emotions, be polite, be the perfect little girl and obviously I fucked up big time when I got pregnant. I was alone, I didn't have anybody to turn to, I found out that you've been lying to me for 19 years… do I really have to go on?' Emily asked and then shook her head, 'that was the worst case I have ever worked, in my whole entire career at the BAU, my daughter went missing… Hotch blamed me for Lilly hurting herself…' she said as she pointed at each scar she had made.

'Okay…' Elizabeth said, not wanting to hear any more. 'Why didn't you tell us?'

'How could I? You and dad were working all the time,' Emily frowned.

'I'm sorry…' Elizabeth started.

'Sorry for what?' Emily asked.

'For not noticing.'

'You treated me like I was invisible… did you even know I have a tattoo of Lilly's name on my arm?'

'No…'

'Money and politics are more important to you than family… well I'm going to look after my children and teach them that family is more important,' Emily said to her.

'Emily…' Elizabeth started.

'What? It's true... I'm second best, you care more about money, business and your reputation… don't be surprised if any of us give up on you…' Emily said.

'I'm sorry Emily… of course its okay to show emotion.'

'I had to be the perfect little girl, I had no time to be a normal child, and we had to move around so much... I wanted to stay in one place, somewhere that we could actually call home,' Emily told her. 'I didn't fit in anywhere, how could I? I knew we weren't going to stay because we were going to leave again, I had no proper friends, I did anything that I could to fit in, which is why I got pregnant,' Emily said.

'Family is important to me Emily even if I haven't shown it enough but if you give me a chance then maybe I could prove to you and maybe even Lilly that you do mean a lot to me,' Elizabeth said carefully.

Emily sat there thinking about what her mother had just said, then Hotch's words rang in her head and then she thought about her children, how they deserved to know their grandmother, she can give her one last chance but after that no more and she will never forget what she has done.

She sighed after a long moment of silence and nodded her head, 'okay…' Emily said, sounding unsure and quietly, making her mother look up at her in surprise. She nodded her head again and continued, 'but I can't forget what you've done. I can only give you one last chance,' she told her mom. 'But if you mess up or break any promises to any of my kids that's it, your chance is gone.'

Elizabeth nodded her head, 'I promise I will not let you down and I'm sorry,' she said to Emily seriously, she was very happy her daughter had given her another chance.

Emily received a message from Hotch asking how everything was going. She smiled, 'I gave her one last chance,' she replied.

Elizabeth smiled at Lilly, 'you're beautiful, you have your moms eyes and smile, and hair,' she said, looking at Lilly and Emily.

Emily nodded and said, 'I agree,' quietly, she was still feeling awkward.


	43. Chapter 43

Where's my baby?

Chapter 43 - Surprise Surprise

Emily got up and went to get Hotch and Jack. 'Hey,' Emily said as she saw them playing with his car toys that he'd brought with him.

'Hey, so you gave her another chance?' Hotch asked.

'Hi miss Emily,' Jack looked up and gave her a smile.

'Hello Jack,' she squeezed his cheeks lightly in return. 'Are you having fun, playing with your car?'

'Yep, is Henry going to be here in a minute?' Jack asked.

'I'm sure he'll be here soon,' Emily answered, ruffling up Jack's hair. 'Shall we go see Lilly?'

'Yeah okay,' Jack agreed and got up, going to see Lilly and Elizabeth.

'I gave her another chance, I decided that you were right, I should let her be in our lives but this is her last chance,' Emily told Hotch and he put his arms around her in return.

'Do you feel that it was the right choice to give her another chance?'

'I mostly did it for the twins but yeah I did.'

'Then that's all that matters,' Hotch gave her a smile, putting his hands on her belly.

'Yeah, I guess you're right,' she agreed and gave him a kiss.

'Come on let's go.'

* * *

Half an hour later!

Hotch and Emily were in the kitchen, talking about their next date, Hotch suggesting something they could do. Going over to her, he put his arms around her waist and said, 'how about I take you for a night out, just you and me and I can wrap you in my arms,' Hotch said with a smile, kissing her cheek.

'That sounds amazing, what are we doing?' Emily asked.

'Stargazing... Just you and me and a night full of stars,' Hotch whispered in her ear.

Kissing him softly, she gave him a massive smile. 'I think that sounds perfect, I'd love that so much.'

'I'm glad to hear that.'

'I never knew you could be so romantic,' she gave him a wink and he laughed in return.

'Only for you,' he replied.

'Aww you're cute.'

In the mean time, JJ and Will arrived with Henry, Lilly opening the door for them with a smile. 'Hi come in,' Lilly greeted them and held the door open so they could come in.

'Hi Lilly, how are you?' JJ asked, as she took of her shoes.

'Yeah I'm good thanks how are you?' Lilly said, closing the door.

'Yeah we're good thank you, where's your mum?' JJ asked, holding up the bottle of wine.

'She's in the kitchen,' Lilly replied.

'Hi Jack how are you doing?' JJ asked on the way, when she bumped into him.

'I'm doing good, where's Henry?' he asked in return with a smile.

'He's with his dad in the living room, he's waiting for you,' JJ told him.

'Okay thanks,' he said quickly before running away.

JJ smiled and walked into the kitchen to see Hotch kissing Emily's neck and hearing them Emily laughing and replying to Hotch, 'I love you to,' she gave him a kiss when he gave her a wink.

'Wow...' JJ said, stepping back and putting her hands up in surrender.

Hotch and Emily pulled away quickly and looked at JJ in shock. 'Oh my god JJ,' Emily started but she didn't know what else to say.

'You're pregnant? And you two are together?' JJ's eyes widened, when Emily turned to face her properly.

'Yes, we're together, that's why we invited all of you here today so we could tell you,' Emily told her honestly with a small smile. 'Also yes we're having a baby.'

'Oh my god...' JJ stood in shock. 'That's great, I'm so happy for you both,' JJ squealed, running over to put the bottle down, before giving Hotch and Emily a hug.

'Thank you,' Hotch and Emily said together.

'Wait what about Strauss? Does she know? Is she okay with it?' JJ asked, question after question.

'Hi, oh my god Emily, your pregnant? Congratulations,' Will said with a smile, going to give her a hug.

'Hi Will, yeah Hotch and I are having a baby, thank you,' Emily returned her hug.

'We spoke to Strauss and she said that she wasn't exactly okay with it but we work well and she didn't know that we were together, so as long as we keep it like that, she said that it was okay,' Hotch told JJ and Will.

'Aw I'm so happy for you guys,' JJ said, giving them a hug again.

After Hotch and Will left to go and talk, JJ and Emily were talking about the pregnancy. 'So did Hotch stay over?'

'No,' Emily denied.

'Oh... that's funny, because I called Hotch this morning and you answered, you know the conversation we had about the wine,' JJ said, trying not to laugh as she saw Emily's face go red. 'Yeah I was supposed to speak to Hotch.'

'Okay... yeah he stayed over yesterday, I only thought it was my phone but I was too tired to look at who's phone was whose,' Emily answered, taking a deep breath.

'Why didn't you say anything?' JJ asked.

'I wasn't really ready to be honest,' Emily told her.

'Emily... you're having a little Emily, oh my god girl, I'm so happy for you,' Penelope screamed happily, giving her a hug.

'Thank you,' Emily replied with a laugh, returning her hug and seeing Hotch and Derek come in, she took his hand after hearing Derek and Reid say congratulations and giving them all hugs in return.

'Who's the father?'

'I am,' Hotch replied.

'And we're having twins,'...


	44. Chapter 44

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 39 – Emily tells the team!**

 **Mentions of self-harm**

'Hotch and I are… having twins' Emily said a bright smile on her face, and then she opened her cardigan which was covering her growing baby bump and showed the team.

The team was shocked and so happy for Emily and Hotch. 'Oh my god, oh my god yay congratulations Emily and boss man, I'm so happy for you, your having 2 little Emily's and Hotch's, that's so cute,' Penelope was the first one to say, a big smile on her face.

'Congratulations Emily and Hotch,' everyone said, giving Emily a hug and patting Hotch on the back.

Then all the questions came.

'Lilly when did you find out Em was pregnant?' Penelope asked.

Lilly cleared her throat and smiled, 'a few days ago.'

'Yeah,' Emily said with a smile looking at her. 'Lilly came with me to the ultrasound.'

Lilly smiled brightly and nodded her head, 'yeah the babies were really cute, they were moving,' she explained.

'That's so cute, when did you find out Em?' JJ asked, excited for her friend.

Emily looked at Hotch and smiled, 'just more than a month ago…' Emily waited for a month to tell her mum and dad that she was pregnant as well, they hadn't reacted as well as the team had. Emily cleared her throat, 'I just wanted time to get used to being pregnant and everything,' she explained to the team, she was still smiling, although she felt like crying.

'Well that doesn't matter now, at least we know…' Rossi said with a smile on his face, Emily stopped listening after that. Memories of when she told her parents came flooding back. That's what her dad had said to her, he was angry with her though and once he had finished Emily ran up to her room and cried herself to sleep, feeling alone with no one to turn to.

'Emily?' Hotch asked, squeezing her hand.

Emily looked up at Hotch with a smile on her face and said 'I was just thinking.'

'What were you thinking about?' Hotch asked softly.

Emily shook her head, 'nothing important', in return Hotch nodded and then answered Rossi's question telling the team the twins were due in April.

For a while the team was speaking of Emily's pregnancy, she left for a few minutes making Lilly worry about her.

'Are you okay?' Lilly asked concern in her voice and on her face.

'I'm emotional… it's just…' Emily started.

'What?' Lilly asked.

'What Rossi said… well that doesn't matter now, at least we know…' Emily said, taking a deep breath 'my dad said that… when I told them I was pregnant with you… and he wasn't very happy about it… because I was too young and everything else he said… so I guess I wanted to hide in my room again and cry… that's what I did last time. It just brought back so many memories that I don't want at the moment…'

Lilly was shocked, Emily had never told her about that but she was glad she did. Lilly gave Emily a hug and told her that it was going to be okay.

Elizabeth heard Emily tell Lilly and she sighed, deciding to go and speak to her about it. 'Your father didn't mean it the way he said it, he was angry, but not with you, he was worried and felt bad for what we had done, but we don't talk about our feelings... and then we didn't talk after that, he decided that he wanted to change that and so he started supporting you more and I kept my distance because I was ashamed of what I had planned,' Elizabeth explained to her gently.

'Oh... I erm, don't know what to say, apart from that it still hurt what you both did, making me feel invisible.'

'I am deeply sorry for that,' Elizabeth started. 'I heard you talking to Lilly when you were pregnant, about how you would protect, and look after Lilly no matter what it took... I'm grateful that you had the chance to do that.'

'Yeah, so am I,' Emily agreed with a nod. After a moment of silence, Elizabeth was about to move, when Emily stopped her. 'Wait, I have something for you,' Emily said, going to her room to get the ultrasound picture she had gotten for her. 'Here,' Emily handed it to her.

Elizabeth taking it carefully and looked at the picture, smiling and running her fingers over it. 'It's beautiful, you can see the little legs and arms,' Elizabeth looked up at Emily. 'I love it, thank you.'

'It's no problem, I have a video as well if you'd like to watch it, maybe the next time you come over you can see it.'

'I'd love that,' Elizabeth confirmed.

'Hey Emily,' Hotch came into the kitchen to see the three women talking and smiling.

'Oh hey, what's up?'

'We were you three were.'

'We're coming down now, just give me and Lilly a minute,' Emily told him.

'Alright,' Hotch answered and walked down with Elizabeth to the rest of the team.

'Is everything okay?'

'Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to tell the rest of the team that your my daughter,' Emily informed her. 'If that's okay with you.'

'Oh okay, yeah that's absolutely fine,' Lilly told her.

Emily and Lilly came down and took their places again. Emily cleared her throat again, getting the teams attention.

'I have something else to tell you…' Emily said and she felt Hotch let go of her hand. She laughed and said 'when I…' Emily started and then shook her head 'this isn't going as planned, I had a whole speech and now it's not going right…' she said to Lilly.

Lilly gave her some supporting words and then Emily carried on, she looked at Hotch who wouldn't look at her and then looked back at Lilly and then the team.

'I know you have been wondering about Lilly and…' Emily took a deep breath and carried on when she saw the team's faces; she looked at Lilly and said 'well… Lilly is my daughter…' Emily told her team with a smile…


	45. Chapter 45

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 45 – Teams reactions!**

The team was in absolute shock and they couldn't keep the surprise from their faces.

'Lilly's your daughter?' Derek asked, wanting confirmation that they heard her right.

Emily smiled and nodded her head, 'yeah.'

'What? How? When?...' Penelope asked.

'When I was 15 I got pregnant, in Italy, I had to move around a lot and it was difficult for me I guess, I could never settle down in one place…' Emily answered, trying to avoid the stare she was getting from Hotch and her mother.

'Who's the father?' Derek asked, looking at Hotch.

'John…' the team looked at her shocked and then she realized her mistake, adding 'John Cooley.'

Derek looked at her and asked what everyone was thinking, 'why didn't you tell us?'

'I was too close to the case, you would've taken me of…' she answered the question without really answering.

'That's not what I meant…' Derek said back.

'It's complicated…' Emily answered, not looking at him.

'What's complicated?' Derek asked, still shocked by the news.

'Everything...' Emily and Lilly answered.

'That is amazing but very shocking news,' Penelope said smiling at them both, realising none of them had said anything like that yet and just asked a load of questions.

'Yea we're really happy you told us,' Rossi said a smile on his face, although he was still shocked. 'We all had our suspicions but we wanted you to be the one to tell us,' he added.

Hotch was wondering what else Emily was hiding from him.

'What happened then when Lilly was born?' JJ asked.

Emily swallowed and took a deep breath, 'um…' she looked down, now she wasn't sure whether or not she was ready to tell them, she knew they were going to ask questions but she didn't know how to answer and she didn't want to lie either.

Lilly saw how Emily was struggling and felt bad but she didn't know what to do or say. 'I found out that I was adopted when I was 16 and I found out that Emily is my mom when I was in the ambulance,' Lilly said instead, trying to buy Emily some time, Emily in return sent her a thankful smile.

'Oh, how did you feel when you found out?' Rossi asked.

'Hurt and angry when I first found out but not now…' Lilly said, knowing what happened.

'Did you want to find Emily?' JJ asked.

These questions were making Lilly nervous, like she was being interrogated. 'Yeah I did. I asked my parents but they didn't tell me… they said that my father was dead and that she didn't know who my birth mother was…' Lilly explained and bit her lip.

'My mother knew Vivian, I think…' Emily started, looking at Elizabeth who nodded her head.

'You think?' Penelope asked.

'Yea, I think… I um can't remember…' she changed her mind; she wasn't ready to tell them about everything yet, maybe next time.

Rossi could tell she didn't want to talk about it anymore. 'Is there anything else you want to tell us?' Rossi asked.

Emily looked at Hotch and said to the rest of the team. 'No there's nothing else.'

'Emily…' Rossi started.

Emily shrugged her shoulders 'please don't judge me… or think of me any different… I'm still the same person I was before… you just know a little more about me,' Emily said quietly.

Hotch saw how upset and scared Emily was, they all loved her to pieces and they would never judge her but she was a different person now. Hotch took Emily's hand and she looked at him surprised.

'Emily… none of us are going to judge you, we all love you.'

Emily really was stuck. She had no clue what to do or say next, she was still the same person she was before, she hadn't changed one bit.

'How about we talk about pregnancy,' Penelope suggested instead.

Emily looked up with a slight smile and nodded her head 'Mhm good idea' that reminded Emily that Hotch hadn't left. Yet!

'How was it being pregnant last time?' JJ asked, interested to know.

'Um yea, it was good and difficult at times…' Emily said, trying not to get emotional.

'Well your mum and dad supported you though, right?' JJ asked.

'I guess…' Emily shrugged.

'What they didn't?'

'In the end they did I guess… a bit more…' Emily told them. 'They obviously thought I was too young to be pregnant and be a parent' she didn't know what else to tell them.


	46. Chapter 46

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 41 – Hotch and Emily talk!**

A few weeks later!

'Emily when you get back we need to talk,' Hotch said to her.

'Talk about what?' Emily asked, knowing but not wanting to talk about it.

Hotch gave her a look. 'You know what we need to talk about,' he replied to her.

A few hours later!

Hotch was still waiting for Emily when she got back.

He smiled when he saw her, giving her a kiss and saying hello, asking if she was feeling okay.

She answered and told him she needed to go upstairs but she'll be back down in a minute after he said they needed to talk.

Emily did come back and sat down on the couch next to him. He leaned over and gave her a kiss, making her smile and then he put his hand on her tummy.

Hotch didn't know where to start. 'Emily…'

Emily looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to start talking.

'Do you trust me?' Hotch asked first.

Emily frowned and took a deep breath. 'Yeah of course, why wouldn't I?' she asked.

'Then why didn't you tell the team that Lilly was your daughter sooner?' he asked. That was one of his main problems.

Emily laughed but there was no humor in it. She closed her eyes, trying not to get emotional.

'I didn't know how…' she answered.

Hotch sighed 'Emily… you did know how.'

Emily bit her lip; she still wouldn't look at him, looking down at her hands.

Emily stayed silent, not saying anything to him.

'Emily just talk to me, I said that you could loads of times,' Hotch said to her softly.

'But I couldn't. I asked you loads of times to not ask questions but you did and that just kind of put me off. I just needed time and it was my choice. It was easier to tell them now…'

'Why did you need time? I couldn't not ask questions, I was worried about you,' Hotch told her.

'And you thought Lilly would know?' Emily asked, raising her eyebrows.

Hotch sighed. 'I don't know what I thought but you wouldn't talk to anyone.'

'Because I needed space and… I had just found my daughter, I was trying to get to know her and spend time with her, I didn't want her to be uncomfortable around me because all of you were asking questions… we were just getting to know each other you know, getting used to the situation…' Emily told him quietly.

Hotch sighed, listening to every word she was saying. 'Emily…' he took her hand. 'I'm sorry for not giving you time, you changed so quickly and I was wondering why, I thought you trusted us enough to tell us,' Hotch explained.

'I do trust you, it's not about trust. I just wanted to know my daughter first before saying anything…' Emily sighed; she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

'Why else didn't you tell me on the case?' Hotch asked.

Emily frowned slightly. It was a difficult conversation and topic for her to talk about.

Emily rolled her eyes 'how could I?' Emily asked quietly, taking her hand back.

'What do you mean?' Hotch asked, he was confused now.

'How could I tell you when every time I saw you, you would tell me I'm not her mother… remind me that I haven't been there for her… you were judging the "birth mother" but you didn't know who it was and what she had been through… I was going to tell you that day, that I was Lilly's mother and that I hurt myself but after you believed what Vivian said about me… how could I have told you, when you made it clear you didn't like the mother for what she had done… and then on the case… you said that Lilly hurt herself because I abandoned her… I would never…' Emily said; she couldn't talk anymore, tears going down her face.

Hotch felt his heart break for Emily, seeing her like that, because of him… he felt so bad. 'Emily…' he started but then stopped, he didn't know what to say. 'I can't explain, how bad I feel and how sorry I am… if I could take back what I said, I would… I'm so sorry… I should never have said any of it and I definitely shouldn't have believed what Vivian told me… I didn't mean what I said on the case either… I know you didn't abandon Lilly now. I didn't then but if I knew I wouldn't have said that… you're right I didn't make it any easier on you and I don't know everything about you… and I am so sorry babe,' Hotch apologized. 'That's also why I want to know the full story… to hear what really happened from you and not from someone else,' Hotch added before Emily could say anything.

Emily listened to what Hotch was saying, he did sound sorry and interested to know what really happened. She wanted to say something but she didn't know what she could say at the moment. She wasn't going to say that just because Hotch apologized everything was okay now because it was far from alright and they had a lot of problems to sort through first.

But she wanted him to know that she had listened. 'I know you didn't know… so I can't blame you for saying that, you didn't know… and I asked…' Emily said.

Hotch looked at Emily, 'it doesn't matter that I didn't know, I still said it and I hurt you,' he said to her and kissed her on the head.

'It did hurt… I think it would've hurt if anyone said it but it hurt more when you said it because I thought you would never say something like that or judge anyone without knowing the full story… I mean that's what we do in our jobs, find out everything before…' Emily started and took a deep breath, 'and then I heard you say… you were going to look for the mother… I had a heart attack, I was so worried…'

'I'm sorry Em, you're right, we find out everything before anything else and I just didn't think of it like that then… I'm sorry I hurt you.'

Emily nodded 'you don't have to keep saying…'

'I do because I feel so bad… and I really am sorry,' Hotch said back.

Emily wiped a few tears, looking at Hotch she saw that he felt guilty for everything he had said. Emily leaned forward and gave Hotch a kiss and then rested her head on his shoulder, she wanted to forget everything for now. She was starting to get tired of everything.

She sat up again, looking at Hotch worriedly.

'What's wrong?' Hotch asked, worried.

The next 6 words from Emily's mouth shocked him 'are you going to leave me?' Em asked quietly.

Hotch was more than shocked 'WHAT? Why would I do that? Of course I'm not going to leave you,' he said in shock, why would she ask him that?

'Because… I haven't been honest and I've been keeping things from you… why would you want to be with someone like that?' Emily asked; she was really worried about that, she didn't want another person leaving her again.

Hotch put his hand under Emily's chin and made her look at him. 'Emily… don't talk like that… I'm never going to leave you… I just want you to talk to me, I don't want you to feel that you have to hide things from me, I won't leave, so you don't have to worry about that…' he said to her softly and then smiled. 'Plus, we're having cute babies together so why would I want to leave you and let you go through it alone?' he asked.

Emily smiled back. 'I can promise to try and talk and I wouldn't want to go through this pregnancy without you, that wouldn't be any fun' she laughed and then gave him a kiss.


	47. Chapter 47

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 42 – talking about another issue!**

Emily fell asleep for a bit and Hotch sat there in silence, holding her and thinking.

Thinking how she felt all those months that they speculated, commented and asked questions and he felt so bad that she had to go through it alone, he should have been there to support her instead, so she didn't feel alone and feel that she had no one to talk to.

At a time when Emily needed them to butt out and leave it, they didn't so it made her close of from them. They should've supported her and told her that they were there for her if she needed someone and they should've been more welcoming to Lilly, asking how her relationship with Emily was going and just ask her more questions to make her feel comfortable.

Hotch made a promise to himself to involve Lilly more and show Emily that he cares and supports her, asking her questions about her past if she wanted to talk, he wanted to prove to Emily, Lilly and himself that he was there to stay because he loves her and wants to stay in her personal life and not just her life at work.

Then he had another problem that he just couldn't get his head around or out of his mind, it was driving him crazy.

Emily hurt herself!

He never thought he would get over that. He had so many questions he wanted answers to as well and the only person who had answers was the person sleeping peacefully next to him.

He didn't know how she would react to talking about it and he hoped she would open up to him but he knew if she didn't want to talk she wouldn't.

He should have been the supporting and loving boyfriend he normally was, when she told him. He also wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want to talk about it as Emily was a very private person.

"She probably didn't want to tell the team for fear of how they would react as well. It probably took a lot of encouragement from Lilly and a lot of confidence for Emily to tell me her secret like that. I will thank Lilly for encouraging her when I see or speak to her next. It took so much effort for her to tell me. She said she had only showed Lilly before and hadn't told anyone else. I didn't react as well as I could've and then I ask why she does it, of course she didn't want to tell me," Hotch thought to himself.

How could he have missed it? All those signs, the blood on the floor, the way she would ask for a few minutes on a case and the long black tops she wore to cover her scars or the bandages on her arm.

Half an hour later Hotch found Emily awake.

'Hey,' Hotch said, stroking her back gently.

'Hey,' Emily said softly, resting her head on his chest, closing her eyes.

'You sleep well?' Hotch asked.

'Mhm very good,' Emily replied quietly.

Hotch kissed her and said, 'good,' then stayed silent.

After a moment of silence Hotch said, 'I know it must've taken a lot for you to tell me that and then I got angry at you… I should never have gotten angry… I hurt you; I should've listened to you… I was so worried though, so my anger and my worry got the better of me… you couldn't have wanted to tell the team after…'

Emily closed her eyes, looking down. 'Please stop…' she begged quietly, it was hurting her more and she didn't want to hear it. 'It's okay I didn't want to tell the team after that but it's okay now…'

'It…' Hotch stopped when he saw her look. 'I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt you,' he said sincerely. 'I should've seen it; seen all the signs…'

'Hotch it's not your fault… if I wanted you to know then I would have told you sooner and made the "signs" clearer but I didn't…' Emily explained, looking up at him.

'I still should've seen it…' Hotch said. They both stayed silent and then Hotch asked 'do you want to talk about it?... Tell me why you do it?'

Emily started tracing the scars on her arm but then stopped, when she heard him ask the question. Emily closed her eyes and looked down with tears in her eyes. She wanted to but she didn't know if she was ready for all the questions and everything that came with it. She knew she couldn't stay silent forever, even if she wanted to though, so she cleared her throat and said 'Sometimes the cases get to me. I can't really give you an exact reason.'

Emily shook her head and stayed silent, tears in her eyes. 'I don't… I don't want to talk about it anymore…' she told him.

Hotch sighed 'Alright…'

Emily got up and sent him a fake smile when she turned around 'I'm hungry, I'm going to make something to eat, do you want something?' Emily asked.

Hotch shook his head 'this conversation isn't over Emily… and no thank you I'm alright for now… you sit down and relax, I'll make it for you' Hotch said getting up and making Emily sit down.

When Hotch came back with her food he said, 'Emily…' and she looked up at him. 'I know you've never spoken to anyone but I just want you to try…' he said, Emily just nodded and stayed quiet.

'I'm proud of you Emily, for telling me. I know it must've been difficult for you, but I'm glad you told me and I don't think you're a weaker person or anything, I don't think of you any differently, I hope you know that,' he told her, meaning every word he said.

Emily didn't know what to say to that, she was happy that he didn't think any differently of her, that made her, feel better. He's proud of her? She didn't know what to make of that.

Emily looked at him, she kissed him and smiled 'thank you, I know that now, it made me feel better,' Emily said.

'Good,' Hotch smiled at her. 'I actually wanted to talk to you about something after.'

'Why don't we talk now? Is it really important? Is it to do with work?' Emily asked.

'It is important,' he started. 'I was wondering how you would feel about us, moving in together and finding a house?'

Emily smiled widely at him, her eyes shining bright. 'I'd love to.'


	48. Chapter 48

**Where's my baby?**

 **Chapter 48 – Opening up**

'Great,' Hotch smiled at her. 'Especially with the twins and everything, I just want to be there to support you, especially in the beginning, it's going to be difficult... but we'll manage,' he reassured her.

'Oh so you can help me change nappies, that's great,' Emily laughed, watching him go red in the face.

'Well, I can try,' he said, looking disturbed at the thought of it.

Emily kept her distance from Hotch for the next few hours, getting in the bath, going out to the shops or just doing something to avoid him.

Hotch couldn't take it any longer and went to talk to her when she said she was going to clean for a bit.

He sighed; she was stubborn 'Emily…' Hotch said exasperatedly. She looked at him waiting for him to speak 'come over here' he said and she did.

He put his hands on her shoulders and moved them up and down; he kissed her head and looked at her beautiful face. 'Em… relax alright, why do you keep avoiding me?' he asked.

Emily frowned 'I'm not avoiding you…' she denied, when she saw his look she added 'I just have a lot of things to do'

'Come sit down with me…' he saw Emily was about to protest and he said 'now Emily… that was an order'

Emily bit her lip to stop herself from smiling 'we're not at work so you can't boss me around' she reminded him.

'That might be true but I am the father of your children so I can… now come on and don't argue,' he said, taking her hand and leading her towards the couch.

Emily sat facing him. 'I'm relaxing…' she sighed.

Hotch smirked. 'Now talk to me' he kissed her.

'Talk about what?' Emily looked at him.

'What happened?' he asked.

'What?' Emily asked, confused.

'With Lilly when she was born… I want to know' Hotch told her with a serious face.

Emily almost rolled her eyes and sighed. Emily wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it.

Hotch moved closer to her and took her hand 'Emily I just want to know, I want to listen to your side of the story.'

'There's not much to tell… I got pregnant with her in Italy when I was 15, um I told my parents a month later and they disapproved…' Emily said and then stayed quiet.

Emily was playing with Hotch's hands when he said 'what about John? Didn't you tell him?'

'Of course I did…' Emily said, looking down at their hands.

'What did he say?' Hotch asked.

'Does it really matter what he said?' Emily said.

'Yea it does, because I want to know,' Hotch told her.

'He said that he was… to young to be a parent, that he wasn't ready, he thought it was a mistake and he wanted me to get rid of her… he changed his mind though when I called him on the case and told him that Lilly had been taken…' Emily told him.

Hotch was angry at him for saying that to Emily and not being there for her. He didn't know what to say though so he nodded for her to continue.

'None of them wanted me to have the baby… they thought I was too young um to be a mum… my parents tried to convince me to have an abortion but I said I was keeping the child no matter what… if John wasn't going to be responsible then I have to be… my dad pretty much shouted at me and told me that they were disappointed in me….' Emily told someone for the first time what happened when she told her parents.

'I'm sorry Em…' Hotch said, feeling bad for her, she shouldn't have had to go through that alone when she was 15 needing support.

'It's not your fault…' Emily told him, knowing he knew that.

'What else happened?' Hotch asked Em.

Emily cleared her throat, trying not to cry. 'Um after he finished his little rant, he sent me to my room… I obviously ran up and we all ignored each other for like a week… I went to the ultrasound alone and saw my baby' Emily said with a watery smile.

Hotch smiled in return and asked 'how was that?'

'It was good, I was happy for the moment. Focusing on my baby, forgetting everything…' Emily said. 'I guess I did want someone there, to share the experience with me but they all just…' Emily shrugged and stopped talking before she cried.

'Mother refused to take me out to parties, not that I wanted to go, but she kept me at home because I was pregnant and she didn't want me to ruin her reputation' Emily added.

'That's not fair on you…' Hotch said and Emily looked up at Hotch with tears in her eyes.

'In the end… I asked my mum what I was doing, I asked her questions but all she said was figure it out yourself, otherwise you will never learn… my dad was a bit more supporting in the end than my mother was but by then I was already 8 months pregnant so I said forget it… but I'm surprised they came with me to the hospital…' Emily said; it was painful for her to talk about, a few tears running down her face.

'You're their daughter; of course they would, no matter what your age' Hotch said.

'I know, but they ignored me most of the time, just so much more when I was pregnant…' Emily told him. 'Which... is when I probably needed them the most, even though I could look after myself by then.'

'I'm sorry Em…' Hotch said, he truly felt bad for her.

'You have nothing to be sorry for…' Emily said.

'What is it?' Hotch asked, knowing Emily wanted to say something but wasn't sure if she should.

'When I found out I was pregnant… I was scared and happy and… I didn't want to tell you…' Emily started 'because… my last pregnancy experience wasn't that good… and I was scared that you wouldn't want the baby… and that you'd leave and then who would support me… I had no support last time… so it's nice that you want the baby… don't get me wrong it is… but it's weird because I didn't have anyone… so I'm still getting used to it…' Emily told him, she wasn't supposed to say that but at least it was the truth 'so if I push you away or anything… I don't mean to… I'm just not used to it but I do promise to try and keep an open line of communication.'

'Emily, of course I would be there for you and the baby, there's no way I wouldn't be there, I don't want you to feel that I won't support you because I will, every step of the way… I'm not going to leave and I won't let you push me away' Hotch said, he felt bad that Emily had been through that and was scared to tell him, because of his reaction.


	49. Chapter 49

Where's my baby

A month later

Emily was now 6 months pregnant.

They had found a house to move in to and were now living together happily, slowly moving stuff into their new home. Their main concentration, being on the baby room. Emily was just waiting for Hotch to come in and help whilst he was on the phone.

'Who were you talking to? Was it something to do with work?' Emily asked when he came back in.

'Yeah, someone called to ask something about work, so I had to sort that out,' Hotch answered. 'So what else do you need help with now?'

'Not a lot, I'm nearly finished, I just want to watch some TV and relax,' Emily got up with Hotch's help.'So I was thinking tomorrow I could start the painting in the baby room tomorrow, but I was going to start in the afternoon, so I wanted to know if you could help, spend some time together,' Emily suggested.

'That sounds good, I'm coming home early anyway,' Hotch told her with a smile.

'Good,' she gave him a kiss.

'Have you spoken to Lilly?' Hotch asked out of interest.

'Yeah I did, she's doing great... that's what she said anyway, I thought there was something up with her but that might just be me worrying,' Emily answered, rubbing her belly as she started flicking through the channels.

'I think your just over thinking things,' Hotch told her softly, putting his hand over hers and feeling the babies kick. 'How long have they been awake?'

'For a while,' Emily rested her head on his shoulder. 'It feels like they're having a kicking match in there,' she told him and he laughed.

The next day!

'Why is it so loud? What the hell was that bang?' Emily asked sounding irritated.

'Sorry,' Hotch said when he picked up something that fell of the side of the bedside table.

'Are you going to work already?' Emily asked, opening her eyes, using the strength in her arms to sit herself up properly.

'Yeah, just relax and have a nice day off,' Hotch told her softly.

'So when will you be home today?'

'Around three, but I'll let you know when I'm on my way back,' Hotch answered whilst getting dressed for work.

'Alright,' Emily answered quietly.

'You okay?' he asked softly when he saw her rub her belly.

'Yeah I'm fine.'

'Alright, I'm going to go,' Hotch told her and bent over to give her a kiss before going to get Jack and go to work. 'I love you.'

'I love you to,' Emily kissed him back before lying back down carefully so she could go back to sleep.

Later on that day, Hotch texted her that he would be back in half an hour and asked if she wanted to have take out for dinner.

'Can we have Chinese?'

'Of course,' Hotch replied.

Emily was in the nursery when she heard Hotch came in, 'Emily I'm home. I have a surprise for you,' he called out.

She got up carefully and went to meet him in the hallway, and stopped in her tracks when she saw Lilly. 'Oh my god Lilly, hey,' Emily smiled brightly as she gave her a tight hug, not wanting to let her go. 'What are you doing here?'

'Surprise!' Lilly answered with a laugh, returning her hug.

'How are you? It's so good to see you.'

'It's good to see you to. I'm okay, how are you and the twins?'

'We're fine, kicking like crazy but all good,' Emily answered, 'oh it's so good to see you, I'm so happy your here.'

'Well I love the look of the house so far,' Lilly said, excited that she finally got to see the place.

'Yes, I'll show you around and take you to your room so you can get settled in,' Emily let her go and gave her a smile.

'Okay,' Lilly agreed.

'I'll take your bags,' Hotch said politely with a smile, taking her bags to her new room.

A couple hours later!

'So we're having pizza for dinner, what do you want?' Emily asked Lilly, letting her decide.

'Pepperoni,' Lilly and Jack answered at the same time.

Emily and Hotch laughed and decided to order a large pepperoni pizza for the kids and one for them.

'Hey,' Emily got Hotch's attention, taking his hand, she gave him a smile. 'Thank you, for the lovely surprise of bringing Lilly here, I haven't gotten to thank you yet, so thank you so much.'

Hotch kissed her. 'It's my pleasure. I just want to see you happy, and I know that Lilly being here helps you with that and not being stressed, that's all I want,' Hotch told her softly.

'Thank you. I know I've been stressed lately, I didn't think that it would be this stressful but your right, seeing Lilly again has definitely helped. Thank you again,' she hugged him. 'I love you.'

'I love you to.'


End file.
